school desk | vkook

- TWENTY-NINE -

A whole week passes and just like that, Taehyung and Jeongguk don't speak to each other at all. Taehyung just...can't bother. What happened has drained all of his usual energy. A mean move, he knows, leaving Jeongguk constantly guessing what's going to happen. But honestly, who's the mean one here?

Jeongguk, on the other hand, wants to speak to Tae. Of course he does. But with his number blocked he can't figure out how. He doesn't want to annoy Taehyung with notes on the desk, he already tried that. The message was erased the next time he checked. The second Jeongguk gets close to Taehyung, the latter walks away without even looking, leaving Jeongguk standing there alone, teary-eyed, longingly staring. Watching Taehyung's back as he just walks away everyday hurts the most. It's Jeongguk's first heartbreak and he didn't know that it would actually, physically hurt, until now and the fact that they haven't even broken up yet makes it ten times more painful. Knowing he'll lose Taehyung completely but not when or how, and then summer will come and Taehyung will graduate. And then they'll never speak again.

He quit the music club despite finding it really fun, because he'd rather want Taehyung and his friends to have that fun. Speaking of Hoseok and Jimin, they don't go anywhere near Jeongguk either; he's completely on his own. No, his own friends didn't abandon him, he distances himself because Aeri's there and Jeongguk just can't deal with her, or telling the others what happened. But even Aeri has been keeping her distance. So, completely alone it is.

Until one day, when Jeongguk finds a new friend. A friend who can help. But more on that in chapter 31!

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"The music club examination thingy is today, right?" Taehyung asks Hoseok as they walk through the corridors.

"Yeah," Hoseok says. "You think you can do it alone?"

"I don't know..." he looks down sadly. "I mean I don't have the lyrics or chords, it's all at Gguk's place... I mean Jeongguk," Taehyung scolds himself. "Besides even if I had memorised them I'm not sure I could sing that. I mean it's the song we wrote together right before our first kiss. I dunno if I could handle it. I'll try though, I mean Mr Hwang did hint that it could raise my grade in both music and Korean... "

"Do whatever you're comfortable with, Tae," Hoseok squeezes his shoulder before walking off to class.

When going to grab some school books, Taehyung doesn't expect an envelope to fall out of his locker when he opens it, but that's exactly what happens. It's completely blank, no note to tell it's actually for Taehyung, but it's pretty easy to figure that out since it got into his locker somehow. There's still a while until chemistry class starts, so Taehyung picks the mysterious envelope up, leaning against the wall while opening it. His heart drops as he sees what's inside.

hey. thought you might need this today. you can take all the credit. good luck.
// j

It's written in red ink on a little piece of paper, which Taehyung rips in half and throws to the floor. He takes a deep breath before taking a page with lyrics and chords out of the envelope, bracing himself for the emotions about to take over him. If he's gonna perform this in a few hours, he must have had read it through a few times in order to not cry. It's all in the same red ink and Jeongguk's messy handwriting, which has grown so familiar to Taehyung. The letters are a little smudged, it looks as if Jeongguk has spilled drops of water on it. Taehyung would like to believe that that's the case.

[intro: Am F C C]

[verse: Am F C C x2]

I'll see you again today, just like I always do

What happens when our eyes meet?

I'm carefully waiting, waiting here for you

But I have no expectations, just my rising heartbeat

[pre-chorus: Am F C C Am F Dm G]

I steal glances of you from afar, my favourite sight to see

As I leave, I secretly wish that for once, you'd look at me

[chorus: Am F C G x2 end on Am]

Hey you, do you know my heart?

These days, I feel like a child all the time, keeping secrets as I look at you

You, aren't you seeing my actions, hearing my words?

I can't get my hopes up just to have my heart broken

So when we say goodbye today, no words of what I want to say

Will be spoken

[verse: Am F C C x2]

I close my eyes, but I see you anyway

I don't know what to do now, I feel wrecked

My friends call me fool, say I'll be hurt if I stay

But again, there's really nothing I expect

[chorus: Am F C G x2 / end on Am]

Hey you, do you know my heart?

These days, I feel like a child all the time, keeping secrets as I look at you

You, aren't you seeing my actions, hearing my words?

I can't get my hopes up just to have my heart broken

So when we say goodbye today, no words of what I want to say

Will be spoken

And that's it, that's the end, at least according to Taehyung's memory. But no, just as both boys promised themselves so many times before that they would do together, Jeongguk has finally added a bridge, a third chorus and an outro to the song.

[bridge: F G C Am Dm E]

You said "people change" and it's true that we do

But how don't you know, that applies to me too?

I changed for the better and your heart was caught

'Cause I'd never hurt you, or so we both thought

Until one thing happened that tore us apart

And now I feel like I'm just half of a heart

At some point during the bridge, Taehyung must have started to tear up because the words are turning blurry and he can't even tell if it's his vision worsening from the salty liquid in his eyes or if it's teardrops smudging the ink out.

[chorus: Bm G D A x4 / end on D]

Hey you, I thought you knew my heart

I think you thought you knew it too, and you really did, I know you still do

Oh you, this song was once our reality, and that's what it's become now too, only sadder

Well,

My hopes aren't up but my heart is still broken

So if we said goodbye today

I know no words of what I wanted to say

Were spoken

[instrumental: Bm G D A]

[outro: Bm G D D x2]

Once again, as you leave I just stare at your back

Too full of want, it's just courage I lack

So help clear this up and you won't be unsure

Just let me explain so I won't have to stare anymore

——

AAAH YOU GUYS I WROTE A FULL SONG WITH CHORDS AND EVERYTHING MY DAD WOULD BE BEAMING WITH PRIDE IF HE FOUND OUT

(and once again, if you're a loona stan you'll know where i stole the "hey you, do you know my heart" from)