Stole My Heart ›› h.s

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter 14

-;-Harry's POV-;-

I can keep a girl. Nick has no idea what he's talking about. I love Sam way too much to hurt her. If I ever did hurt her, I would just crawl into a hole and die. 

I looked down at the petite girl cuddled against me. She was asleep, as well as everyone else. I just can't sleep, those things Nick said keep running through my mind. 

"Harry, go to sleep." Sam croaked. I let out a soft chuckle.

"I'm sorry love, I can't sleep." I replied. 

"I'll stay up with you then." she said opening her gorgeous blue eyes. 

"No, go back to sleep. You have rehearsals tomorrow, you need rest." I reassured her. 

"I can't now that I'm awake." she sat up in the bed, criss-crossing her legs. I followed her actions, so I was facing her. "Why can't you sleep?" she asked.

"Just can't." I lied.

"You're lying to me."

Damn. 

"Those things Nick said, I'm afraid I'll hurt you." I huffed. 

"Harry, don't listen to him. I love you, and I know you wouldn't try to hurt me." 

"You're amazing, you know that?" she shrugged and let out a small laugh. "You are, don't let anyone tell you otherwise." 

"Whatever Haz." she scoffed. 

I hate when she does this. When she doesn't know how beautiful she is. She can be so down on herself that it hurts me. Sam is the most amazing, beautiful, caring, loving girl in the world. I love her so much, but when she puts herself down I hate it. 

"Stop that." I scolded. "Stop putting yourself down. You're beautiful and talented. You can simply walk down the street and you catch the eyes of every boy. You don't realize how gorgeous you are. You don't know how many girls wish they were like you. How many girls wish they had your looks, your talent, your life. You're the role model of thousands and you're so insecure about yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror for once. You're breath taking. Gain a little confidence Sam." 

She stared at me, shocked by my outburst. But she didn't say anything, just stared at me. 

"Sorry." I whispered. She didn't respond, she simply moved her glare to the bed. 

"If you went through what I did, it's hard to love yourself again." her voice cracked. 

Shit, what did I do? 

I small tear fell from her face and landed on the bed. She quickly moved her hand up and removed any race of it, afraid that I'll see she was crying. She crawled off the bed and walked to the full length mirror. 

I didn't say anything, just watched her actions. 

She began lifting up her shirt, stopping right underneath her bra. She ran her fingers over her visible ribs. Her fingers trailed down to her protruding hip bones. 

She was literally all skin and bone. 

"It's hard. To look at myself, and all the painful memories flash through my mind." she spoke. She turned around slightly and ran her fingers down her spine. Every bone evident. "I look at myself and I'm disgusted. I'm a skeleton. I try to gain weight, but I can't. My body doesn't except it." she shook her head. 

"Sure girls want my body, my looks, my talent. I don't want them to have my life. The pain I endured, the flashbacks I get, the tears I cried. I don't want anyone else to feel that." she said. 

"I used to wish I could go back to the day I met you, stop myself from getting into that car to go to my cousins. Stop myself from falling in love with you. Stop myself from living a life full of pain and regret. Stop myself from the multiple suicide attempts. Stop myself from becoming anorexic. I just wanted to move on, not worry about you but I couldn't. Now I'm stuck with these memories."

"I couldn't live a normal teenage life. I spent most of my high school years locked in my room, or in a hospital bed. I didn't have friends, I had one person. Sara. She was always there for me, she made her brothers drive to my house any time I needed her. She was right by my side through everything. But when she was with me, I felt jealously run through my veins. She was skinny, beautiful, everything a guy wants. Looking at her made me hate myself more." 

She put her shirt down, but continued staring at the figure in the mirror. Picking everything apart. 

"I know I look like I'm always happy, but I'm not. I look like I have the most sincere smile, but if you look close it's fake. There's no shine to my eyes anymore. There's no hope, no faith, just regret. I haven't been truly happy since the day I met you. Those were my true feelings, my real happiness. Now everything is just an act."

"The hate I get doesn't bother me. Only because I think of myself much worse than they do." 

She began to watch me behind her in the mirror. 

"You're the only person in the world who can say something and I feel it. The only person who makes me feel hope for myself. The only person I feel happy around. You can tell me I'm beautiful, and for a moment I believe it. But there's that one part of me, the part that constantly tells me I'm not good enough. And then once again, my happiness disappears and turns to sorrow. I may look happy. It may seem like I love my life. But if you look closely, deep down I'm not happy. If anything, I'm empty." 

She finished talking and traced her fingers along her collar bone to her shoulders. 

I sat there in silence.

I did all of this to her.

I ruined her. She could be dead right now, and I wouldn't know.

"I remember the first day I met you. You walked through the back gate, your iPod in your ears. Your eyes looking down at your phone, then up at Sara. That's when I first got a look at you. A huge smile plastered on your face. You're eyes hidden behind your sunglasses. Your blonde hair blowing in the summer breeze. There was something about you. I was scared to talk to you, but I did and I will never regret it. Because the moment you first spoke, I swear my heart melted. When you finally removed your glasses and I saw your eyes, something came over me. I didn't realize until now, that I was in love with you. All that time we spent together, I was honestly the happiest person on earth. When I saw your face I fell in love. You stole my heart. When I kissed you, my heart skipped a beat. The entire time I was on X-Factor, I felt like something was missing. Sure, I was living my dream but you were missing. I needed you to live my life. I cried when management told me I wasn't allowed to talk to you anymore. Every night I thought about leaving to go home and be with you, but I couldn't leave the boys. Don't ever think that I forgot about you, if anything I thought of you more. In all those interviews when they asked if we were single of not, it broke my heart. I wanted to say I was in love with Samantha Ann Oxx, but I wasn't allowed. When you walked through those conference room doors and I saw you, my heart stopped beating, I stopped breathing. I didn't believe it was you. It was you, I had a fresh new start with you. It's amazing the effect you have on me, as well as the others. There's something about you Sam. Whatever it is makes me fall for you more and more every day. You're beautiful Sam, believe it. I'm in love with the most gorgeous, sweet, caring, talented girl in the world. Embrace the fact that it's you Sam. I love you." I finished and stared at her. 

She was leaning against the door frame, her back facing me. She was shaking her head, small sniffles coming from her. I made my way to her, turning her to face me. 

"Thank you Harry... for never changing." she said looking at the ground. I lifted her chin so she was looking into my eyes.

"I love you Sam."

"I love you too Harry." 

I pressed a kiss to her lips and wrapped her into a hug. 

This girl with be the death of me.