A Journey Through His Soul

Again, and again, and again.

A song from Jade to Leo, enjoy!
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Who's she? She's new right? She's kind of pretty anyway, she's so fam~

Oh...

Frikkin' no! She's a ghost! No that's just another new redhead, right?

No! Who am I fooling! Myself?! She's, she's ...Jade...My long lost Jade.

Of course it's her, I know that copper, and bursting golden hair. Of course it's her, that fair, freckled face is printed in my colourless memories. Of course it's her, I could draw those exact same eyes without looking at them! Those eyes...

Ugh they still have the same effect on me...And they always will! Who the heck am I kidding?

That's still Jade, why is she still there? Isn't she a glitch in my memory? Like it always happens with me? Isn't she the picture I see of her every time I miss her that fades as soon as I touch it? Is she real? Is she actually real? Right there, made of flesh and bones? Can I..Can I try touching her? What if she fades again? Like in my dreams? Then I'd look like an idiot touching air right?!

What the hell is wrong with me!

I've been trying to forget her, for three years now! I'm not even me anymore! I'm a whole new person! Then how is she still stuck in my grown out of it for three years brain! I've slept with girls to get over her! I've dated to forget about her! I got into fights to get all my emotions for her out of me, in a rather twisted way, I must say...But, what did I get in return? Popularity! Thank you so much! all my efforts are simply gone by just looking into those eyes! I thought she's just a silly crush I had, that when I see her, it'd be totally normal, it'd be simply gone, like it wasn't there anyway. God Damn it she's still hunting me down! Damn her! Damn her to the moon and back!

She's still standing there...

Beside James? Right. He's a fast one isn't he? Hm

Leo chuckled thinking about that last thought, oh how James and him fought about Jade leaving, and how much James missed her too, but always denied it, but his desperation always showed it away. That made both their loathsome for each other grow even more, quite literally.

*flash back*

"It's your fault! She left because of you! She left this long! This is longer than she promised! She doesn't like this school anymore! Because of you!" I kept pushing James so hard in his back that I didn't recognize myself anymore...Am I the same person he bullies? And why didn't he punch me in the face by now?

"You're such a heartbreaking...b*tch!" Did I seriously just say that?Who are you turning me into, Jade Williams! I hate you!...But I also adore you...And your smile, and eyes, and...and..

"AHHHHH!" That's when I wasn't thinking, and that's when I first punched James, or anything, really.

I think I've officially lost it.

He chuckled even more, when he was fifteen, he was something...

something that Jade wasn't present to see, anyways. But he'd rather not tell her, he'd rather not disappoint her. Oh god, how would she react when she knows what a person he became!

But still, I became this person for a reason, and I won't change myself for some stupid middle school crush...She's standing with James anyways...

"Hey! Hey!? Leoooo, Leeeeeoooo! Dude look at us! What are you spacing out about? Oh. Do you know her?" Spencer asked.

"Uhm."