accidentally married to you // nct jaehyun (nct series #1)

chapter five

a/n: by the way, i know nothing about the processes of wgm and marriage in korea. this is pretty much an au so,,, i hope it's okay~

"we're giving you the liberty to discuss this and do whatever you want to do. we asked you to meet us in secret so that you could make your own decisions, pero we should inform you about the consequences of your possible decisions," the pd discussed. "if you choose to leave wgm, it will be a great scandal. the public will be curious and your fans would most probably go through every corner just to get to the bottom of your departure in the program. if you choose to file for a divorce, it will be a very long process and there is a huge chance that the divorce will be leaked, thus causing a huge scandal about you and about the show."

"we worked very hard to create this show and bring it to life, but in doing so, we accidentally caused you your future and career. for that we apologize. we are willing to help you in whatever decision you choose. if you choose to tell your agencies, you may be forced to leave wgm, or you may sue us. we hope it's not the latter so we are here now talking to you. as i've said, we are willing to cooperate."

"should you choose to announce this in public, it will cause an uproar leading to a huge scandal about the show, the network, sm entertainment and jyp entertainment, your respective groups, etc."

i gulped. nagkatinginan kami ni jaehyun, and it feels like i'm mirroring him because we are both feeling anxious and doubtful right now. this can cause us our whole career and the career of the people around us. then, suddenly, the pd put down a card on the table. it's like one of the passes earlier. 

"we also booked room no. 1 if you choose to discuss it alone, and i assume that's what both of you want."

tumango kami ni jaehyun. kinuha niya 'yung pass. tumayo na siya kaya tumayo rin ako at sabay kaming lumabas ng kuwarto. pagkalabas na pagkalabas namin ay bumuntong hininga kaagad ako. ngayon ko lang napansin na i've actually been holding my breath inside that room for too long. 

"okay ka lang?" tanong ni jaehyun sa 'kin. tumango ako. "a bit of a shocker, isn't it?"

"a bit?" i snorted. "this could cause us our whole careers, jaehyun. i don't want to risk it."

"let's talk about this inside," sabi niya at itinapat ang pass sa scanner. the door opened and so we entered the room. 

dahil sa sobrang nerbyos ko kanina ay hindi ko na napansin ang interior ng mga vip rooms. the ambience is much like the lounge downstairs. the walls are wooden at mayroong exposed brick sa gitna ng isang side ng wall. enclosed in a glass is a fireplace, at sa taas naman nito ay ang tv. there's a coffee table for two at mayroong isang bulb na naka-enclose sa parang glass container na nagha-hang sa taas. there's a wall light na nakasulat ng café rosa. rosa. great. rose. rosé.

kakapasok pa lang namin ni jaehyun ng kuwarto nang may nag-doorbell. sosyal, hindi ba? may doorbell pa. binuksan ko ang pinto and may isang waiter doon. hindi pa pala dumarating ang order namin. pinapasok ko siya at inilapag niya sa table 'yung order namin. para kaming statue ni jaehyun doon habang hinihintay siyang lumabas, and as if automatically, the tinted glass door closed. 

nauna na akong umupo sa upuan then jaehyun followed me. i sighed.

"ano'ng gagawin natin?" tanong ko, feeling worried and hopeless.

"we'll get over this," he smiled then held my hand na nakapatong pala sa table. i blushed. his hands are so... soft and warm. for a moment, i thought it was comforting. 

"i hope we will. but we have to figure out what we should do next," binawi ko ang kamay ko at kinuha 'yung drink ko and i started drinking. after taking a big gulp, ibinalik ko ito sa table. "it's risky if we tell anybody else."

"very risky for both of us and the crew," he agreed. "so what should we do? keep it a secret?"

"hindi ko alam," umiling ako. "it will be really burdensome. and it will just get on the way of our personal lives."

"do we have any other choice better than that, sooyeon?" he sternly asked. tumungo ako at umiling. "we have to suck it up. we're idols; we basically signed up for it. it's not our decision to make."

"it's still our decision to make!" i frantically exclaimed. "hindi porke't celebrities tayo, hindi na tayo allowed na magkaroon ng private life. being a celebrity won't last forever, we need a life too."

you of all people should know that, i wanted to say. siya ang may kakaibang life outside the cameras sa 'ming dalawa. you know, that rosé thing. 

"there's no other option," he sighed. "that's the best one."

"yes," i agreed. "do we tell anyone? sasabihin ba natin sa mga members natin? or close friends?"

"only the people we trust."

tiningnan ko siya sa mata. i can see anger, nervousness, and fear in his eyes. pakiramdam ko alam ko kung ano 'yung iniisip niya. i can tell that he's thinking of rosé. he must love her so much. 

tumango ako. i was silent. hindi ko alam kung anong sasabihin ko. this is all so quick and surreal. this was supposed to be a virtual marriage to entertain people, but then, we got married for real without consent. 

and i am married with someone who has feelings for somebody else. 

"we need terms and conditions if we should make this work," sabi ko kay jaehyun. tumango siya. 

"so, ano'ng suggestion mo?" tanong niya sa 'kin habang naglabas ng papel at ballpen. 

"first, strictly no one should tell their management or  the press. anyone na nakakaalam ng sikreto natin ay dapat mag-agree rin dito."

"agreed. second, to keep this matter a secret, magpa-file tayo ng divorce three months after our contract with wgm ends. enough time to keep people's attention away from us."

it felt like there was a pang in my chest. divorce. it was a quite big word, you see. para sa 'kin, it means that you're letting go and turning back completely. you don't care anymore - about the person, about memories, about the plans you've made together. as if everything that happened can be thrown away in an instant. everything because of one thing. 

but who am i kidding? jaehyun never loved me and i don't think he'll ever love me. he has rosé. we're not even supposed to make memories anyway, because we're both forced to do this. it's not like the memories i'll have and have had with him are memorable enough compared to his memories with rosé. i will just be practically buried in the ground. 

i'm not even worthy of being compared to her. she's basically everything anyone could ask for. she's talented, she's probably smart, she's beautiful, she has a beautiful body that she got without effort, she's god-fearing and down-to-earth. ako? wala. walang-wala. 

i nodded at jaehyun. "great."

he signed the paper na sinulatan niya kanina and he gave it to me. we got married agreement. of course, he'd make sure of this. 

i sighed and signed above my name.