Deepest Desire [NaLu AU]

Chapter XXI

A red haze coated my vision. It felt like my head had just been slammed into the hull of the ship repeatedly, making everything seem dim, unfamiliar, and hysterically ridiculous. I felt my head tilt back as I laughed insanely. I put one hand on my forehead before the red haze turned into a sea of crimson that took over completely. I felt my body fall.

A world surrounded me. This world was different. It was strange. It was dark. And it screamed ominous and horrible feelings. The grass was pitch black, though it shone in the glaring light of the scarlet sun. The onyx trees waved in the harsh, biting wind. I glanced behind me and saw I was standing on the edge of a steep cliff, and though I wasn't usually afraid of heights, this sight made me shiver. At the bottom of the cliff face was a deep, orange ocean that crashed against dark, jagged rocks.

A figure appeared. His silhouette looked familiar, and I took a step forward to get a better look. When he came into the light of the sun, I saw myself. Every detail, every feature, everything was the same. It was like looking into a mirror, except his expression showed malice and hatred where I knew mine expressed fear and curiosity.

He glared at me with a vicious smirk, licking his lips as he started to speak. "I hate you," he growled. "You took everything from me. My home, my body, my powers. You took it all." His face showed hatred beyond anything I'd ever seen. "You should be grateful that most of me is inside that book. You only hold a sliver of me and my power, and yet, you are losing this battle."

He smirked wider, showing sharp, glistening teeth. "You are pathetic. You would have died without my help, but what do I get in return for saving you? Imprisonment. Banishment." He snarled. "Shame." He waved at the world around us. "Not to mention this sad excuse of a world as my home."

He shivered in disgust before turning back to me. "I can see I make you uncomfortable. Or would afraid be a better word?"

"Who are you?" I demanded, trying to seem like he didn't make me uncomfortable, though I was pretty sure it had the exact opposite effect.

He grinned this time, mimicking me in a mocking way. "I am everything you hate. I am the demon who could rip everything away from you with nothing but a snap. I am E.N.D." He laughed. "And your brother, that pathetic excuse of a dark mage, was the one who created that name."

I backed up, muttering the first thing that came to mind. "My brother? A dark mage?"

The demon smirked again. "Oh, you didn't know?" He laughed maniacally. "Yes, your brother was the one who saved you. But if you ever thought he did it for you, you were wrong. He did it for himself. He was a dark mage with the curse of immortality. He expected you to kill him. He is selfish. He only wants to die. He didn't ever think about what you wanted. Why did you think he decided to do it at the expense of your sanity, after all?" The demon started walking forward. "No, he was evil, selfish, and weak, just like you."

I took a step back, now just barely on the edge of the cliff. That was the moment I recognized what exactly was happening. The orange sea. That represented the sea of insanity I would fall into if I let him win. The cliff face represented how I was just barely hanging on, how even the slightest push would knock me in. And the world before me was everything I'd left behind, every horrible thing I'd ever done. That was the world of my regret, and I was running away from it.

I breathed heavily, taking a step forward. "You say I am losing, but you are the one trapped inside a book with nothing but a sliver of your power to help you in this battle." The demon glared sharply. "You say my brother is selfish, though he went to all the trouble of getting your sorry ass to help me survive." He took one more step forward. "You say I am weak, but you are forgetting that I have more than just your power." I let golden flames sprout from my outstretched palm. "You say I am evil, but I am not you, no matter how much of you is inside me."