Chapter Eleven

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• Chapter Eleven •

Noel's P.O.V:

Glasgow was gorgeous. Breathtaking. One cannot simply explain its beauty until one sees it with their own eyes. Calm waters, bright city lights and not to mention the beautiful Scottish accents. It was such a privilege to be here, to experience this. We neglected the tour bus which was understandable considering we would have to catch a plane for the duration of our tour. In actuality, we would ride on a pristine jet.

I was fortunate to not be one who has unexplained fears or sickness of and on planes. I was happily snug in the leather seats, watching movies, without a care in the world. Well, in truth that was a lie. I wanted to have no cares, but I had a burden, one I could not understand. That burden was Harry.

He had not spoken to me since he voiced his absurd opinions with steam rolling out of his ears. He spent the night in Louis' room I assume. I ate breakfast alone in uncomfortable silence; I turned the television on just to have a low murmur in the background so I didn't feel so alone.

"Are you alright Noel? You're frowning." Liam snapped me out of my thoughts which I was grateful for. Sometimes my mind was a maze with no possible route of escaping. 

I cracked a smile and tugged my hair out of my eyes. "I'm fine, thank you." In the harsh reality, I wasn't anywhere close to fine. A man from the hotel was so kind in carrying my bags to the room; another big, expensive, completely free hotel room. 

We were all crowded in the elevator. Liam was explaining to Zayn about a restaurant that apparently had the best burgers in all of Scotland, although Niall was the one who was really listening. Harry wasn't pleased to be pressed up against the elevator mirror with my shoulder touching his sleeve. If I shut my eyes tight enough, I could hear the grinding of his teeth together. I averted my gaze towards Louis, who was looking straight at me. He shot me a sympathetic look before he turned around and added a few points to the boy's conversation.

A lump in my throat formed out of no where, my hands begun to shake at my sides, my lip began to quiver. My breath came fast and short. The passages for air to enter felt as if they were minimizing. "Dammit woman, are you having a seizure?" Although Harry's words were spoken out of pure bitterness, his actions were far less harsh. His large hands enclosed my small, sickly shaking ones, holding them, warming them, until they stopped moving so suddenly. 

It was nice and comforting, to have him relax and calm my body which had its own out-of-my-control agenda. I've had them before. Around the time where my dad was sick, and after it.  They were little sparks of what was to come after, if not controlled immediately. It was the beginning of a panic attack. I didn't have them often, usually my mother would always be there to calm me down before they resulted in me fainting.

But I have never once encountered them stopping, by the touch of someones hand. Especially Harry's. I couldn't quite spot what triggered it. It was understandable if it were because of claustrophobia, which I commonly suffer from. Or maybe it was from the guilt. Every time I close my eyes, I subconsciously visualize the pain I saw in Harry when he yelled at me. Unintentionally, I must have genuinely hurt him, because the look in his eyes that I saw could not simply be faked. Even for Harry who was a master of disguise.

Suddenly it felt as if the warmth had been stripped from me, when realistically, Harry removed his hands. No one said anything, although all eyes were on us. As there was a ding, -indicating the end of the elevator ride- no one moved or made a single sound. Until Paul cleared his throat and the boy's followed him as they piled off.

Then Harry pushed passed me.

"You can't stay mad at me forever." My voice was strained and for the first time I didn't believe a single word that came out of my mouth. Strangely, internally I believed that Harry could stay upset with me for a lifetime. That thought scared me.

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