TINY LITTLE BOY

EIGHT

Jungkook was checking his phone while eating breakfast, debating if he should send another message to Yoongi, before all air was pounched out of him. Yoongi had messaged back. Opening the conversation he read the message over and over, with a little smile finding it's way to his face before it was completely wiped off seconds after.

If you want to talk, we could meet at your place tomorrow at 20:15, then I'm off work.

As the older had sent this text last night, it meant that tomorrow meant today. And Jungkook was not even sure what he was supposed to tell the ravenette, he had just desperately tried to get a hold of him for a start. Placing his head in his hands, he rubbed his eyes in slight distress, before deciding that when the older at least was willing to listen, he would try. So he messaged back, answering that he was very welcome to stop by at the mentioned time with shaky fingers, messing up his response, not once, nor twice but thrice, before he hit send.

The day had gone by in a blurry haze. The pressure of the upcoming meet up with Yoongi, made the young boy both nervous and absent. The teachers couldn't catch his attention, which he knew would lead to him having to read more on the subjects later. He could see the pile of homework growing, when another couple of chapters was added on top of his imaginary tower of papers inside his head. After being at both school and work, sitting home and just waiting seemed agonizing. Every time he turned his head to look at the clock on the wall over his couch, the time seemed to either have gone extremely fast or slow. Watching the silver hands of the watch ticking away, he tried to come up with anything he could make the time go with, which led him to cleaning, tidying his whole apartment, sorting his laundry, and washing the first bounch of the clothes.

When checking the clock again, the hands showed that it was now 8 o'clock. A big lump of nervousness appeared in his stomach, and settling there. Sitting down at his couch again, not knowing what else to do, he continued to wait, nervously fidgeting with the sleeves on his oversized black hoodie.

At approximately twenty minutes past eight, a knock was heard on his door - a painful reminder of how strained their relationship had become in just a few days. Before, the older would just have walked right in, made himself comfortable on the couch or in one of his chairs, and started talking about his day at work, his most preferred subject being either mad customers, freaky ones, or the ones that was hung up on. He could use half an hour explaining how a dude had sat lonely at a table, before he defeatedly left, when not long after, the girl that the other waiters and himself suspected to be the one he should've met, arrived.

Getting up from the old couch, he tugged down his shirt, before moving through his apartment to the door and opening it for an equally exhausted and flustered looking Yoongi. Hesitantly he moved inside the apartment, past the younger, and sat down at one of the chairs by Jungkooks table, while gesturing to the plastic bag that he had brought, saying "we had some leftovers so I thought I could just bring them here, knowing you, you probably haven't eaten". And he was right, the younger had forgot that, again. He give the older a small appreciative smile, and sat down on the other side of the table.

An awkward silence settled around them, making the atmosphere thick with uneasiness,  before Jungkook opened his mouth letting a little, "I'm sorry hyung" out, both sides of his mouth turning down, and a frown finding its place on his face. 

"For making you have to care for me, for annoying you, for everything." He cut the ravenette off as he dismissively lifted his hand, and said "but could you at least let me explain?

Nodding his head, Yoongi snapped his lips into a thin line, adopting a wait-and-see attitude. He was not fond of being cut short, but he would try to let it slide this once, as the younger looked quite tensed up.

"The case is.. have you ever heard about littlespace?" the younger asked, and when the ravenette tilted his head with raised eyebrows he continued. "Well it's - it's basically when adults act like children to release stress", he explained and averting his eyes to his hands that was now again fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. 

"And what you experienced the other day was me going into littlespace." he quickly said, looking, even though it seemed impossible, even more ashamed and tears started to well up in his eyes. "Ah, it's so embarrasing", he said, wiping his eyes, which caught the older completely of guard, his brain already working at maximum pace, piecing the new knowledge together with his memories of the day. The childlike tone, the skittishness, the crying and whining along with all the stuffies was all beginning to make sense.

"It's not like it's something I've chosen" he continued agitated, the upset tone evident in his voice made the older want to assure him that everything was fine. "It's just how it is. Most of the time I'm in pretty good control of it, the reason you didn't find out earlier" and as he catched Yoongis gaze he send him a small strained smile, that didn't reach his eyes.

"I understand if you think I'm a freak. I think so too. That's also why I didn't tell you before, and hadn't planned to let you know", he sighed.  

The older was at a loss of words, and just stared blankly at the other until he started to squirm under the piercing gaze, and he was pulled back to the present.

"You know, first of all I don't think that you are a freak, but I wont lie, I'm a bit hurt you didn't tell me. We have known each other for two damn years, I thought you trusted me enough to say stuff like that to me" he said ruffling his hair and furrowing his eyebrows, causing the younger to squirm even more in his seat, looking both relieved and ashamed. "Was that also why you kissed me?"

The brunettes head snapped up to look at the older as a deer caught in a cars headlights, widening his eyes. He had expected the question, but he had been too busy being relieved as the older didn't seem like he was disgusted with him after all, to actually comprehend that the older would have to air his confusion on this point. 

Talking around the question, he answered "well, in littlespace I'm not really aware of my actions, and what the consequences to those might be. I basically do whatever that comes into my mind. All in a childish thought-process though, I'm basically like a kid. A kiss in bigspace, which is what you call it when you aren't in littlespace, doesn't mean the same as a kiss in littlespace." 

"And according to my behaviour, I'm sorry if I was too much of a pain in the ass" he groaned, while swiftly changing subject, "I haven't had a caretaker to help shape me and help to establish some manners." Tiredly adding  "but it haven't been necessary as I haven't interacted with anyone in littlespace before."

Yoongis mind was by now overflowing with new terms and trying to grasp the whole little universe this seemed to be. All his anger had somewhat disappeared and turned into a dazed wonder.

"Caretaker?", he asked. The younger shot him a soft but on guard glance, that made Yoongi realise that the boy actually was scared that he would be disgusted. "Really Kooks, it means nothing. Well except you didn't tell me", he repeated and the younger writhed about under his gaze, muttering a low "Sorry.. Well, a caregiver is someone you know that will, as it states, care for you when you slip into littlespace. But since I don't want people to know, because it's so embarrasing, it comes rather naturally that I haven't had a caregiver. When I'm on my own, of course I just do whatever I please. But that can make me a bit.. impolite"

Somewhere halfway through their conversation, they decided to go into the youngers couch. Sitting there, with coffee mugs warming their hands and throats as they sipped the warm liquid, they managed to talk everything through. On his way out, Jungkook gave his best friend a long hug, feeling peace settle in his stomach for the first time in days. And when his head hit his soft blue pillow, Ursula craddled in his arms, he was long gone.