11th doctor imɑgines [UNDER MAJOR EDITING]

cough syrup

( cough syrup - young the giant )

over the past few weeks, you had grown more distant with everyone and even yourself. you spaced out a lot, and found it hard to find yourself living in the moment.

days went by and you would spend a lot of your time with the doctor, amy and rory but mentally, you wouldn't actually be there. your brain and your thoughts would be somewhere else, and you often found yourself hardly speaking at all.

of course, it wasn't anyone's fault. no one was leaving you and you weren't doing this on purpose, it was just how your brain worked.

and of course, the trio had noticed and they all knew how your brain worked; they all knew you suffered a lot but they knew you didn't really like to talk about it, so they sort of left it but that didn't mean they didn't care - they all cared for you.

when you were dropped home, and you were alone, you would spend most the evening just sitting on your bed and going on your phone, finding it hard to focus on anything.

you felt empty.

- - - - - - - -

the four of you were hanging around in the tardis. amy and rory were playing darts and you leant against the railing above them, scrolling on your phone.

the doctor stood at the console. he kept sneaking glances at you, as he flicked some buttons. he needed to talk to you about everything but he didn't know how.

he walked over to you and leant against the railing with you, watching the couple laugh around.

"you okay?" he asked softly, and quietly so amy and rory couldn't hear.

you locked your phone, and turned your head around to see him. he had a worried look across his face, but you simply gave him a small smile.

"im fine" you replied, keeping up your facade even though the doctor could see right through it, "are you okay?"

"yes" he replied, before he quickly turned around and walked back to the console, leaving you confused.

you followed him, putting your phone down as you walked, and you stood by him at the console.

"what's wrong?" you asked, noticing he was acting weird.

he sighed, and looked down from the screen he was looking at before looking back at you. you saw his face, and you saw how it was fallen. that's when you recognised he knew something was wrong with you. you didn't want to discuss it; you didn't want to make your problems his as well.

he placed his hand softly on the lower on your arm, "you can talk to me you know" he whispered.

there was a small silence, before you looked up from his hand on your arm and looked him in the eye, "i know" you said quietly, as your eyes began to gloss over with tears.

the doctor instantly noticed your eyes, and he removed his hand, before pulling you into a hug. one of his hands rested on your hair as he held you tightly, your head resting on his shoulder.

you tried so hard not to cry. you couldn't right now, so you squeezed your eyes shut to stop the any tears.

however, you pulled back quicker than the both of you wanted, as you didn't want to attract amy and rory's attention on you.

"urm, i'll be back in a second" you said quietly before you walked off and up the stairs into a different part of the tardis.

- - - - - - - -

the doctor had dropped amy and rory off, leaving the two of you alone. and you knew what was going to happen, but you also knew you had to talk to someone about everything however it was just hard.

"okay so before you start asking me things, i just want to tell you that yes - i have been struggling a lot lately-" you paused, trying to keep a sob down as tears began to resurface.

you put your hand up to your mouth to somehow stop yourself from choking out a sob, "- and everything's just been really hard recently-"

a sigh left your lips as you looked up at the ceiling of the tardis, avoiding any eye contact with the doctor who stood opposite you, leaning against the controls. he wasn't speaking. he was being patient and letting you get everything out.

when you did catch a glance of him, the look on your face broke you even more, and you quickly looked away, "i just feel so empty. and it's like im never actually here, living in the moment, im just watching. and i hate it because i just want to be happy, and enjoy travelling with you but i can't. i hate it"

you were now a mess, but you didn't care. the doctor had seen you a couple times like this before, and he didn't care what you looked like. he just cared about how you were feeling.

"y/n" he spoke softly, as he pulled you into a hug, and pressed a kiss to your head.

you wrapped your arms around him tightly. the two of you stayed like that for a while, and he held you as you cried about everything.

he hated hearing you cry. he hated how painful it sounded.

"i can't do this anymore doctor" you whispered into his shoulder once you had stopped sobbing aloud.

"yes. yes you can" he whispered back to you softly, "because you're my y/n, and i know you'll get through this"

"doctor-"

"y/n, you have to trust me. and right now i know you're hurting, but i promise you with both my heart's that everything is going to get better. you've just got to believe. do you trust me?" he asked.

"i always do" you whispered, and a small smile came upon your lips.

"good" he replied softly, and a small smile reached his lips too, almost as if he could feel you smile.

he squeezed you tighter, and you let out a small chuckle as your arms remained around his neck.

of course for a while you remained in your sad, distant mindset but the doctor always helped you get out of bed in the morning. he showed you the beauty, and the good in life.

he showed you the stars more often as he knew they always lit you up. and the two of you would spend hours sitting on the edge of the tardis whilst it was in the sky, staring at the stars.

he worried about you a lot and he always wanted to make sure you were okay.

you felt lucky to have someone who cared for you so much.