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        Days pass and I haven't heard anything from either Ericka, Jared or Mario. And the last thing surprises me a little, because he seemed to be eager to see me again. I did some googling online and it seems like he is in Dortmund with his friend, Marco Reus. Apparently they are great friends and I haven't heard of that before. But I'm not in Dortmund. He also was spotted with a girl by his side, so that's great for my confidence as well. It could have been his sister or Reus' girlfriend. Mario only has my number and I never asked for his, so I can't contact him. Matthias and his friends have been super supportive of me and practically asked me every day how I was doing and whether I had heard anything about Jared or from Mario. I always had to disappoint them with a negative answer. Viktoria even showed up with another of her girlfriends, Lotte, whose name is rather hard to pronounce as an American, but I'm trying. Lotte is a very pretty girl. She has her hair dyed in all the strangest colors: blue, purple, pink and she told me that her next color would be something green. I wish I would dare to do something with my hair like that. Mine is an ugly shade of dark blonde. It's like a dirty blonde. It's like I rolled in the mud and didn't wash my hair for a few days after. Besides that, it's wavy and medium length. But I wish I would dare to do a new haircut or a new color, but for some reason I don't want to. Viktoria is the opposite of her friend: she dresses nude and has long, very long – probably fake – blonde hair. Which really looks good on her and I do have to admit that I do see her a girl to dye her hair porno-blonde. As in the white-blonde. Which I like to call: porno-blonde. The blonde she has now looks natural and normal and could possibly be real, but I really doubt it. Lotte and Viktoria invited me to go clubbing with them, but I didn't accept the offer and went back to lying down in my bed and being depressed, because that is what I am good in.

        And that's when I get a text message. It's the first in more than a week that is not from either one of my parents. I open the message and read it.

        “When will I see you again?”

        I don't have to think to know who this is from and somewhere in my stomach I feel the warmth spreading through my body. I don't know what to reply to him. He wants to see me. I giggle and feel somewhat happier. I should do something. I should surprise him. But I don't know how. And that's when I got a great idea. Like a fantastic idea. At least that's how I think it sounds in my head.

        Quickly I find Jared's phone number and send him a text message like I had done every day this week. It's been more than a week since the date with Mario and the day I heard the news. I could call Ericka and ask him about Jared's situation, but I didn't. I wanted to hear it from himself. My mother told me she heard it was a suicide attempt, but the police officers in my hometown believe there was some sort of deer on the road that he tried to avoid. I talked to Carlie and she hadn't heard of it at all. She bursted out in tears when we were on Skype together. Carlie is extremely emotional and she didn't even know Jared that well. She felt bad for me, but I told her that I'm okay, just feeling a little depressed about it, but I'd grow over it. I have been sending Jared messages asking how he is doing, how did this all happen, please call me when you have time, and more messages like that. But he doesn't seem to answer. I decide to write Ericka to get an update on his situation.

        And for the first time in two days, I get out of bed voluntarily. I take a shower and I'm glad to feel the warm streams of water rolling down my body. The shower is a way to call me down and it's a place where I can peacefully think about everything. Steam is surrounding me and before I know, the bathroom is foggy and I can barely see anymore. I must, of course, admit that I like my showers hot, like really hot. So that doesn't come as a surprise to me. I wash my hair and my body and step out of the shower. I wrap the towel around me and use a smaller one to wrap around my hair. When it is dry again, it will most likely be one messy afro, but I think Mario can deal with that.

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