Brave

Chapter 25: Believing the Truth

On Wednesday morning, I wake up feeling empty, much the same as I have for the past several days. I trudge to the kitchen to get some coffee, relieved to see that my mom has left the pot on for me. I sit down at the table and start to flip through my messages. There are too many from Ethan for me to count. I know he's worried about me. I know I will eventually have talk to him and make a clean break.

I force myself to get into the shower to clean up. As soon as I lie down in my bed, I realize that I won't be able to sleep any more. I've slept enough to last me for a month. I check my messages again, and a new one grabs my attention.

It's from Ethan, sent at 11:55 AM today: I'm coming to see you. Be there in an hour.

It's 12:40 PM now. It's too late to call him and make up an excuse. He's already on his way.

I rush to my bathroom to throw on some makeup and brush my teeth. Just as I'm emerging from my room, I hear a knock on the door.

How am I going to tell him? What am I going to tell him? My anxiety is making me feel completely ill again.

"Hey," I force a smile and try to sound casual. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to talk to you because you're avoiding me," he tells me plainly. "I can tell there's something wrong, Sarah. Will you please talk to me?"

"Yeah," I sigh and begin to turn away but he stops me before I can get too far and embraces me in a marvelous hug.

"I missed you so much," he murmurs a warm greeting against my neck.

I pull away painfully. "Can I get you some coffee?"

"Sure," he says, keeping a close eye on me. I can tell he's unsettled about my demeanor. I'm unsettled, too.

I bring two cups of steaming coffee to the table next to the sofa, and then I sit down across from Ethan.

"Come over here!" He playfully yells at me, beckoning me to join him on the sofa. I comply, so he pulls me close and I lean my head on his chest.

"So, now my sweet angel, what's really going on?"

I gather up my courage and ask him, "How do you know you really want me? How do I know you really want me? I mean, what if we get a few months or a few years down the road, and you realize that I'm just not the girl you thought I was?"

He's silent for several moments and then offers, "You are the one I want. I just know."

"How?" I ask, pulling away and looking him in the eye.

"I know because I can never stop thinking about you. I know because even though I met you under the worst possible circumstances, you still made me smile. I know because I couldn't wait for you to wake up at the hospital so I could see your beautiful eyes again. I know because I enjoyed every single moment of visiting you, playing cards with you, watching stupid videos with you and laughing til our sides hurt. I know because no one else in my whole life has ever made me feel the way you do."

My heart swells with his generous words. Even so, I can't shake the fear that he'll find me burdensome after a while, a fear that was fueled by his sister's words to me. "You've taken care of everyone in your family for so long. It seems kind of unfair that you have to take care of me now, too."

He looks at me curiously for a long time. As a look of understanding slowly crosses his face, he finally blurts, "Jessica said something to you."

I look down at my fingers and I bite my lip. I don't know whether or not I should tell him the truth. I feel like a snitch, but I finally nod ever so slightly. I look up at him expectantly.