「ABSENCE」 TMNT 2012

36; Too Late

"Oh! I see someone!" Casey shouted to April, who came up behind him on the ladder.

She looked across the alley to the rooftop across from them, noticing not one, but three people, one on the far end, and two straight across.

    "That must be Elly and Leo," she called up to him. She squinted at the other one. "But who's that over there?"

    Casey made it to the roof and made binoculars with his hands. "I can't tell. But– oh my gosh!"

"What?" April scurried up the ladder, hoping whatever had surprised Casey wasn't too terrible.

He dropped his arms to his sides and squinted disbelievingly. "They're . . . kissing?"

April frowned and hopping up beside him. "Who?" She looked across to find Elly bent over a sprawled out Leonardo, their faces connected. One eyebrows lifted. "Elly and Leo?"

    "I never even suspected it," Casey admitted.

    April shook her head. "Neither did I."

    "Should we go and interrupt their moment?" A familiar voice suggested from behind.

The couple spun around to find the other three turtle brothers standing together with smug little smirks on their faces. They were eager to get to their older brother and start teasing him for pulling a dramatic, "I'm hurt so you have to kiss me" stunt on the girl he liked. For all they knew he'd actually broken his leg. But it would still be fun to use this against him in the future, unless he beat them up first.

"That would be rude," decided April.

Raph, the one who had introduced the idea, slumped his shoulders. "Come on, April."

"They're done," Mikey pointed out, heading to the edge of the rooftop to jump across. The others followed, and they all landed safely on the other side.

    Elly looked up as they approached, and they noticed her tear-stained face immediately. The man on the other side turned around, swinging his legs over and hopping to his feet. Raphael watched him closely as Donnie knelt beside Leo.

"It's too late," she whispered, accompanied by a small sniffle.

For a moment Donatello crouched beside her, staring into her traumatized face. Her red nose and puffy eyes said it all, but he couldn't believe it. The way he looked at her made it seem as if he were trying to change her words by simply staring and wishing for it not to be true. But it was true, and it wouldn't change.

He looked away – away from Elly, away from his brother's lifeless body – down at the roof. He blinked a few times in shock, then shook his head. His fists clenched until his knuckles turned white, and he closed his eyes, willing the events of the evening to rewind so he could arrive quicker.

    One could practically hear the devastation in the air as the others, one by one, realized their leader would not be waking up. Tears formed in wide set eyes, chests heaved, voices broke. Feet stumbled, regret kissed their cheeks, and shame formed.

    It's my fault, each thought.

    He's dead. He's not coming back.

    If only I had . . .

    If I had just . . .

    I could've . . .

    I didn't . . .

    But regrets would change nothing.

    Raphael sunk to his knees, face upturned to the sky. His chest hurt, as if something was preventing him from breathing. He choked on a sob. Then he started to cry. Angrily, he shouted and slammed his fasts against the concrete. Over and over, again and again, he pounded at the roof, until his knuckles bled and his flesh was torn. Then he sat back while tormented sobs caught in his throat.

    He wished he would've taken the time to get to know Leo better, instead of always trying to pick a fight. Maybe the oldest would've responded better to that approach than to an attack to his pride. But it was too late now. Yes, it was too late.

    Mikey stayed rooted to his standing position near the edge of the rooftop. He didn't know what to do with himself. Should he cry? Should he scream? He was lost. During the days Leonardo had deserted them, he'd learned to figure things out for himself, instead of letting his older brother do it for him. But now he realized how much he needed him, and he was lost.

And to think, he could've stopped it. He could've insisted on accompanying Leo when he'd been told to stay. He could've found something – an excuse – for Leo not to go. But how could he have known a thing like this would happen?

    Eventually he did cry, as everyone else did. But he did it over his brother's body, while Elly Raphael hugged him.

    Donatello fell to his hands and knees as sobs tore from his throat. His tears dripped off his cheeks to the roof, where they formed a small puddle below him. All he could think of was how stupid he was.

    When April had phoned him earlier, he'd brushed off her news.

    "Leo can handle himself," he'd decided. "He always does. He never needs us."

    He didn't even get Raph and Mikey until ten minutes later.

    Donatello drew in shaky breaths, heavily chastising himself for being such an awful brother. What would Sensei say? How would everyone react when they found out it was all his fault? That he didn't deserve to live because he had let his own brother die?

"I'm so stupid!" He screamed. He covered his face with his hands and rolled onto his shell, kicking at the air. Back and forth he rocked, as his sobs mixed with the cries of the rest of them.

    From around twenty feet away, Jeff watched them. He wasn't sure whether to feel triumphant, even though he'd had no part in the death of this mutant, or to feel sorry for the rest of that pitiful family. To see them screeching and howling like wild animals was quite a sight indeed.

    He had never grieved; not once in his life. But watching others mourn was an interesting thing to witness.