Providence

Chapter 57: Ryan

After Evelyn had told me she definitely was pregnant, I felt delighted. I always would've been up to having children, but it had kind of been at the back of the mind, until then. Then I thought about the planned wedding proposal I still hadn't made to her. I still wanted to go ahead with it even more so now, and I would've asked her there and then. But I didn't want Evelyn to think that I was rushing into asking her because of the baby. So, I decided to leave it for a week or two. 

We talked about her being pregnant, and I said I wanted to tell Mam about it. But Evelyn objected. She told me she wanted to at least have a first scan to make sure everything was okay with the baby, before we told anybody about it. I respected that, and agreed to her request. I found it hard to keep to myself around Mam, as I was so excited about the news, but I managed not to let it slip. 

One day, when I was working at my other job, my boss's assistant approached my desk. 

"Ryan," she said. "Anthony said there's new sets of data in his office for you to lodge. They're on his desk."

"Okay," I said. 

I stood up and headed for Anthony's office. As I stepped inside, Anthony was ending a call to someone he was speaking to on the phone. He turned to face me after placing the phone down. 

"The data's right there, it's--" was part of a speech that he delivered to me, but it was all I managed to pick up on. 

There was a piercing noise ringing through my ears. As Anthony continued to speak, I felt like I was trying to listen someone speaking while my head was under water. His voice echoed through my head, but it was a low mumbling noise. I couldn't register what he was saying, and therefore didn't respond.  

"Ryan, are you listening? Ryan," was the last thing I heard clearly, before the piercing noise intensified. 

And then I must've blacked out. 

I awoke in hospital. A doctor faced me, and was accompanied with a nurse. 

"Ryan, can you tell me what happened?" he asked. 

His voice was clear as day, and the sharp ringing noise in my head was gone. 

"I don't know," I said. "I suddenly couldn't hear anything, except this piercing noise. And then everything just went quiet."

He nodded. 

"Have you been having any other problems lately?" he asked. 

"No," I answered, before pausing. "Well, actually, come to think of it, I've been having a lot of migraines lately and getting sick a lot."

He looked at the nurse alarmingly, before turning back to me. 

"How often has this been happening?" he asked. 

I thought for a moment. 

"I don't know," I said. "I've haven't been paying that much close attention. It comes and goes."

"Have you been in any other kinds of pain?" he asked. 

I hesitated. 

"Yeah, I've been getting pains in my back," I told him. "And then sometimes, I go numb."

He nodded. 

"I think we'll need to do a brain scan, just to be safe," he said. 

"A brain scan?" I asked. "It's surely not that serious, is it?" 

"It could be," he said. "And you collapsing is the best thing that could've happened. Now we have this on file. You really should've come to see a doctor sooner." 

There was an edge to his last statement, which made me feel uneasy. There couldn't have been anything seriously wrong with me, I thought. I was perfectly healthy, I ate the right foods, I exercised daily. But I went along with the scan just to be safe, for the doctor seemed to think it was wise and he was the doctor, so he knew best, I figured. I was discharged that same day, nearing the time I was due to finish work. 

As I stepped inside the apartment, Evelyn sat on the sofa nibbling from a large bar of chocolate.

"Hey, do you want some?" she asked. holding the bar out for me. 

"No, I'm okay, thanks," I said, taking a seat beside her. 

As she chatted to me, I kept thinking about having had the scan. I kept wondering about what possibly could've been wrong with me. But I tried to force myself to quit fretting over it, telling myself it was probably nothing. I felt as though I should've told Evelyn about it, but I didn't want to worry her. I resolved to keep it to myself, at least until I got the results back, which would be soon according to the doctor.