Providence

Chapter 59: Ryan

I was near the end of work a couple of days later, when I got a call from the doctor who had overseen my brain scan at the hospital. He asked me to come see him in the hospital as he had the results back. My heart thumped as I asked him if anything as wrong. He avoided answering my question over the phone, and asked me when I could make it to the hospital. I glanced to my watch, thinking of the date I had with Evelyn in a couple of hours. Anxiously wanting the results, I told him I could go now. I hoped that I would get the results in time before our date. After hanging up the phone, I approached Mam at her desk. 

"Hey," I said. "Something's come up and I've got to leave a few minutes early." 

She told me that it was no problem, and I nodded. 

"See you tomorrow," I told her. 

As I met with the doctor, he greeted me and showed me into his office. At that moment, Evelyn rang me. I apologized to the doctor and answered. Evelyn asked me if I was going to be home soon, or if I wanted to meet her in the restaurant. I told her I was delayed at work, and would meet her there soon. 

"I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you, Ryan," he said. 

I could feel a dry lump forming in my throat. 

"What is it?" I asked. 

I was expecting him to use a little bit of jargon before getting to the actual news, which I had seen a lot of doctors do in the past. But he didn't. He cut straight to the chase, and dropped the bombshell almost immediately. It caught me off guard. 

"The results of your brain scan show that you have a malignant brain tumor."

"How is that possible?" I asked. "I'm only twenty seven." 

"Sadly, your age doesn't come into it," he said. "Brain tumors can develop at any stage." 

I nodded, feeling my throat beginning to well. 

"Is it terminal?" I asked, dreading the answer. 

"Yes," he stated with a solemn nod. "I'm very sorry." 

I swallowed down the tears that were threatening to escape my eyelids. 

"How long have I got?" I asked. 

"If you decide to undergo treatments, I'd say about a year." 

"And if I decide not to take treatment, what happens?" 

He looked me in the eye. 

"Under that circumstance, all I can offer you is a maximum of two months of agonizing pain." 

I nodded, still trying to suppress tears. 

"I know this a lot to take in right now," he said. "Which is why I'd like you to think about whether or not you want treatment. And I'll make an appointment to discuss your options in more depth for a few days time." 

"Okay," I said, swallowing hard as I nodded. "Thank you doctor." 

Once I slid onto the driver seat of my car and shut the door, tears escaped my eyes and rolled slowly down my face. I couldn't face Evelyn then. I didn't know how to tell her about the diagnosis. With the conflicting thoughts that were racing through my mind, I forgot about the fact that I was to meet her. I sat, deadly still, in the car, before revving the engine to life. 

The hospital was on the outskirts of the town. And, as I approached the road, I had the choice to turn left and head towards my apartment, or turn right and travel to my Mam's house. I really didn't have any idea how to tell either Evelyn or my Mam, but I felt that it would be slightly easier to tell my mam. I couldn't find the courage to break it to Evelyn, not with knowing she was pregnant with our child. At most, I'd be able to spend two or three months with her and the baby, following the birth. So, I turned right. 

As I sped down the country lanes that would bring me to Mam's house, my phone started to ring. I pulled in to the side of the road, and picked it up off the seat. Evelyn was calling me. I then thought of our date, and knew I had to answer or she'd think I'd stood her up. She asked me where I was. 

"I'm sorry," I trembled. "Something's come up, I have to go to my Mam's for tonight, really sorry."

"Ryan, what's going on?" she asked.

I stopped my tears from resurfacing while I answered her, but my response was too croaky to be convincing. 

"Nothing," I lied. "I'm sorry but I've got to go." 

As I pulled into the driveway of my mother's house, I turned off the engine, and approached the door reluctantly. I knocked the door, and a moment later, Mam opened it. 

"Ryan, what's the matter?" she asked, looking at my reddened face in concern. 

"We need to talk," I choked. "I've got some things to tell you."

I then headed inside with her.