Rooming With Elvis

Chapter 15

I inspect myself in the mirror. The diet I've been on has kind of worked. I've lost my hips, and some of my belly. Elvis doesn't seem to mind, though. He still sees me as the most perfect girl in the world.

"Elvis!!" I shout.

"Yeah baby?" He shouts back.

"Can you come here? I need to ask you something!"

"Okay," he walks in the door. "What's up babe?"

"Do I look fat to you?" I ask, already knowing the answer.

"Oh my god Jane!" Elvis exclaims. "You've asked me that every day for the past week.  No, I do not think you are getting fat. You are perfectly skinny. It would take a lot for you to get fat. So stop asking me, you're beautiful," he adds in at the end, and kisses my forehead and walks out of the room. I inspect my stomach for a little while longer and decide to go visit Codi and Little Jane and ask their opinions.

"Elvis! I'm going to visit Codi and Little Jane. Wanna come?" I ask.

"No. I'm gonna finish the kitchen today." He answers.

"Okay. See you later," I tell him with a kiss. I ruffle his long hair when we break apart and tell him he needs a trimming.

"Okay. I'll get into that," he says in response.

"Bye!" I say and shut he door before he can say bye back just to annoy him. I giggle when I hear him mutter something under his breath.

I hop in the car and race over to Codi's house and bust in the door.

"So much for knocking. How's ya doing?" Codi asks.

"I have a question. Do I look fat to you??" I ask and pull up my shirt.

"Woah woah woah! That's too much going on there!" Thomas yells when he walks in the door.

"Haha very funny. You've seen me naked before, more than once. Do I look fat to you?" I fret.

"Yes. Yes, you look VERY fat," Thomas answers in a very concerned voice.

"Really? Oh GOD! What do I do?? I'll have to start a liquid diet!" I freak.

Thomas starts laughing. "Thomas! Stop! What the hell is wrong with you? You scared the poor girl to death! No, Jane, you are not fat and do not look fat," Codi scolds.

"Well then why do I feel like I've gained a bunch of weight?" I fire back at her.

"Pfft. Easy. You're pregnant, idiot. I don't doubt he's lured you in bed since you have gotten back together," Codi says with a smirk.

"No! I CAN'T be pregnant! He might not be the one! Then the kid is going to grow up without a father, and it will become a junkie, and I'll have let the kid and myself down," I cry.

"Jesus, Jane. It's just a theory. Lemme get you a pregnancy test. Hold up," Codi warns, and hands me Little Jane. "Can I trust you with my child?"

"Oh my god Codi, YES!! I'm not crazy!" I tell her.

"Well, you seemed kinda crazy to me just then," Codi replies, and with that, she rushes away to locate a pregnancy test.

"Oh Little Jane, what will I do if I'm pregnant?" I ask her. All she does is look up at me with her big green eyes and giggle. Her giggling always makes me smile. I hear a thumping sound, and turn just in time to see Codi fly into the room. Little Jane screams.

"Jeez Little Jane, I didn't teach you to be such a wussy. Anyway, I found four Jane. You can try them all if you want, but don't freak out too much if it says you're pregnant," Codi warns me, and I take the tests from her hand.

"Okay okay, whatever. Just be prepared to take the baby in when I don't want it," I jokingly warn her, but she doesn't look amused.

"Just give me Little Jane and go take the tests," Codi advises me, and I rush away from her.

I walk down the hall and ponder what I will do if I actually am pregnant. Probably put it up for adoption. No, I couldn't do that to the baby. I'd most likely give it to someone who cannot have babies. I hope it's a good home for little baby.

I push open the bathroom door and open all four tests. I want to be sure when I find out the big news. I open the first box, and am surprised when I find the test is more complicated then I expected. You have to pee on the stick for 3-5 seconds. All I thought you had to do was pee on it for as long as possible. I follow the instructions for each of the tests. The first one comes up positive, which causes me to scream. I take the second with a shaky hand and it comes up negative. Weird. I take the third one and it too comes up negative. When I finally take the fourth one, it comes up negative, too. I bring them all out to Codi and shove them in her face.

"How does one come up positive and the rest come up negative??" I ask her in a worried tone.

"Relax, take a chill pill. The one that came up positive? Yeah, that was the cheap one. They, a lot of the time, are wrong. So there, ha, you're NOT pregnant. So stop worrying. You do not have a little human being inside you. So stop worrying, and go home. Take a nap, maybe. I don't know. Just leave, I have to put Baby Jane up for her nap," Codi reassures me.

I kiss Baby Jane goodbye and head out, feeling the need to keep all of this a secret from Elvis.