Someone Like Me

Chapter 14

After work on Monday, I race home to meet Hailee and Alexa. Hailee has a flight to catch and I don't want to miss seeing her off. I get there just as they are getting ready to leave for the airport, and I am so thankful that I made it on time.

When I got home yesterday, I told them about how things went with Chase. Hailee, of course thinks I should drop Mason and start dating Chase, she's particularly happy with his comment about me 'having options'. Alexa's wise advice was to 'follow my heart', which caused Hailee to snort with laughter.

I'm a writhing mass of confusion. Guilt seems to be clinging to me like a cloud of smoke. I feel awful for meeting Chase yesterday, because as much as he said it wasn't a date, it sure felt like one. I can't help but picture Mason's face if he were to ever find out. He would be furious, and rightfully so.

I have to keep reminding myself that nothing happened, and that I should be allowed to have male friends, even ones that can be a little too complimentary. Chase made it very clear that he wouldn't make a move on me while I was with Mason, surely that should count for something?

I've never been in this position before. It had taken me seventeen years to find one guy who wanted to date me. And after Mason and I had broken up, it took another four for me to move on and find someone else. Now I've come full circle, straight back to the boy who made it almost impossible for me to fall in love with anyone else.

And that's my biggest problem. A piece of my heart will probably always belong to the golden boy who shattered it all those years ago.

I had tossed and turned last night, desperate to fall asleep but unable to do so with all these thoughts whirling through my head. I know it shows today, the deep bags under my eyes had taken an extra amount of make up to hide. But I have decided that I want to be friends with Chase, even though I know Mason wouldn't approve.

He's warm and funny and almost painfully honest, the kind of person I would want in my life. As Alexa and Hailee pile into my car and we head to the airport, I tell myself that I won't let Mason dictate who my friends are.

Hailee, Alexa and I spend the drive chatting about our weekend and how much fun we have had. I find myself wishing we were driving somewhere else, anywhere else really, instead of taking Hailee to catch her plane.

By the time Hailee has checked in her luggage, Alexa and I are already sniffling and sad at the fact that we aren't going to see her for so long.

"Now remember, I only have enough saved for one more visit before I finish this year, so please let me know when the best time to come is." Hailee wraps her arms around me and gives me a tight squeeze, before moving onto Alexa.

"We will," Alexa says, her voice muffled against Hailee's shoulder. "Just hurry up and finish!"

Hailee laughs and then turns to me. "Now you listen to me. You are worth so much more than you will ever realise, but you need to learn to love yourself. Make yourself a priority. You're the best person I know D, I don't want you to forget that."

I feel a lump in my throat at her words, but instead of letting the tears fall, I nod. "Who would have thought our little Hailee has grown up," I point out to Alexa.

"Oh fuck you," Hailee retorts, blowing us a kiss to us as she turns around to walk away. Alexa and I hold onto each other, watching her go with tears in our eyes. As Hailee reaches the glass doors, she looks back one more time and waves. "Stop crying, I'll see you soon."

And with those parting parts, she pushes through the doors and disappears from sight.

♡

Later that evening I am studying on my bed, books strewn haphazardly across the covers, my hair tied up in a messy top knot, when my phone rings. I rub my eyes, which are sore from staring at textbooks for two straight hours.

I look at the caller ID before answering it, feeling guilt swirl through my stomach at the sight of Mason's name. For a moment, I thought it might be Chase calling, and I'm ashamed to admit I had been excited to hear his voice.

"Hi Mason," I answer the call too eagerly, trying to make myself feel better. "It's nice to hear from you."

"Di," he greets warmly. "What you up to?"

"I'm studying." I carefully mark my page and close the book, turning onto my back and stretching my arm above my head.

"Why would you be studying?" I can hear the confusion in his voice.

I am positive we have had this conversation before. Is it possible that Mason just forgets these things? Or is it that he wasn't listening in the first place?

Possibly both?

Chase's words echo in my head. I know what someone like you deserves, and it's more than him.

I push them away, determined not to think about Chase right now. It's not fair to him or Mason. And, again, maybe I am jumping to conclusions, the way I always seem to do, maybe it just slipped Mason's mind.

I decide to give him the benefit of the doubt, knowing I am certainly no longer innocent. Mason forgetting what I study seems small in comparison to me going for coffee with another man. I remind myself, yet again, that Chase is just a friend and that I am allowed to spend time with him.

"Remember," I gently remind Mason. "I told you I'm studying to get my degree, it's through UNISA."

The line goes quiet for a moment. "Oh yeah, right sorry. I forgot."

Okay so it was the former then and not the latter. He just didn't remember what I had told him. I can't decide if that's worse or not.

"So what's up Mason?" Surely there must be a reason why he has called me. It's getting late and honestly I am kind of tired and in need of a good night's rest before work tomorrow.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go to dinner tomorrow night?"

"Sounds good," I smile. Maybe I can get this weight off my chest and tell him I went for coffee with Chase. He's bound to be angry, but if we're out in public he won't be able to show it as much and I can calm him down.

Or maybe I should stick to my original plan and not tell him. Does he really need to know?

The fact that I'm not sure if I should tell him or not, makes me feel like meeting Chase wasn't as innocent as I'm trying to convince myself it was. I've heard once, that if you have to hide something from your partner, then you shouldn't be doing it.

"With my parents," Mason adds after a beat of silence.

I was wrong, that doesn't sound good.

That doesn't sound good at all.

"Um, are you sure?" I question, determined to get out of it. I had been so desperate to meet them in high school, but now it just seems strange. What if they don't like me? What if they don't think I'm good enough for Mason?

I'd never thought of that before, but it's extremely likely. His parents both come from wealth and the Hayworth name is well-known. They would probably expect him to date someone as classy and sophisticated as Alexa, not the bumbling mess that I usually am.

"Of course I'm sure Di," he sighs in exasperation. "Don't you think it's time you met them? I met yours, remember."

I bite back my retort, refraining from reminding him that he was the one who didn't want to introduce me to them. "I guess, but what if they don't approve of me?"

He's quiet for a long time, and I feel like he never even considered that. "Wear something nice," he eventually says. "A dress, preferably."

His advice does nothing to quell my fears. "Okay."

"I'm sorry, Di," he adds. "It's just, my dad is a little intense and my mom's not much better. They kind of put me on edge."

"I understand." And I do, after all, Mason himself sometimes puts me on edge. "I'm really nervous," I admit.

"Don't be," he reassures me. "It's going to be okay, you'll see."

I really want to believe him, but my guilt has now been replaced by apprehension.