envy | tommy shelby imagines

[4] young lovers torn apart

"A better time will come, love
And better souls be born:
I would not be the best, love,
To leave thee now forlorn."
-sweet evening come and go, love;
george eliot.

YOUR POV

AS I sat there on the end of the worn table, in the small kitchen in which I situated, I find myself staring into a dark corner, a corner for which I could think of a thousand memories of me and my Tommy;
Since the ripe age of 9, we have been inseparable, to the point in which I trained as a nurse only to ensure I would get my lover home safe, never minding if I didn't come back with him.

My Tommy had a heart of gold all his life, with a smile so infectious it made a common cold seem like a fiend to catch. His eyes able to read people like a verse of a bible, and eyes that could pierce through your heart like a shotgun;
Tommy Shelby is fully loaded and unfortunately, I'm his latest victim.

We had been in love; we still are, I'd like to think, but as I sit there on the squeaky oak chair, I start to wonder if I'm being clouded by a dream.
My Tommy for whom I love is the most faithful man I'd ever had the pleasure to meet, but now, with darkness in his mind resembling the smoke of a canon; his loyalties lie elsewhere, they lie with him in the creased bed with the whore of the night under his wing.
His lates whore is one Grace Burgess, the small town Irish lass behind the bar of our pub.

With a heart full of love he lay with her, with eyes full of adoration to his wife, he made love to her; and with a broken heart I revel in the findings.
My hands holding the 5th glass of whiskey that I nabbed, trying to numb the pain; I would take advantage of Tommy's old friend, but his pipe is for the head, it cannot mend the heart the pummelled into the wall, as he smirked & stomped.

I shake my head, in my fuzzy state;
"No men are different, 's stupid to think otherwise Eveline" I whisper callously to myself, scorning the ache in my chest.
As I look up to the clock, to find out where my love could be, I hear he door open and close quietly, as if like a man who knows he doesn't belong in a place.

Not looking away from the clock, I pick up my glass, and before sipping, my piteous voice calls out "you've been fucking her, haven't you Thomas?" I see the figure freeze, as if like a burglar caught in the act, only this case, it's an adulterer.

"Eve, please darlin' not tonight" He softy says his back still the only thing I can see, I'm thankful for that, as if I saw his face, my heart would break undoubtably more so than it already has.

"Was she worth it Tommy, was she worth waisted nearly 2 decades of love over? I thought we were in love, sweethearts; but all I was, was someone to keep your heart whole whilst someone else kept your bed warm" with a shake of the head, and a scoff, I sip again on the bitter liquid, feeling it warm my stomach entirely.

And the next words, I never wanted to hear.
"Who told you?" His head now downcast to the floor, shoulders slumped, as he takes in his utter betrayal.

"Tommy, Tommy, Tommy; I've been here as long as you have, in the same place, same friends; who do you think wouldn't tell me?
You may have people fear you, but I have people care; and the latter is always stronger" my eyes now meet his back rather than my nearly empty glass;
"Look me in my fucking eyes and tell me what you did" the demand makes it to his ears as he sighs, and pinches the bridge of his nose, as he turns.

"Eveline, I can't tell you what you don't already kn-"
"I WANT TO HEAR IT FROM YOUR LIPS THOMAS SHELBY, ITS NOT A HARD REQUEST" I shout, my eyes glaring, my calm exposure completely vanished.

"WE HAD SEX EVELINE THATS ALL, JUST SEX" he shouts, eyes meeting mine; the crack in his voice miraging my heart.
"So whilst I sit at home, devoted to the man I love, you sleep with the spy in the bar, Oh come on Thomas it doesn't take a genius to find out"
I scoff and continue, the rage burner faster than the alcohol,
"Your lust is far vaster than your love, and my God, maybe I was the fool to believe any different,
It may have only been 'just sex' Tommy, but it cost you more than your sperm count"
I wetly chuckle, the tears flowing like the Thames, and my head shaking like a house caught in a tornado.

"All I wanted was love, and MY Tommy gave me that, made me feel whole in a world destined to tear my soul in two, but THIS Tommy, was the one my old Tommy protected me from; and I'll honour the one I called mine rather than YOU. As you lay there, with your busty blondes, I'd rather lay alone; I'd rather be in solitary confinement than to feel for ONE MORE MINUTE the way YOU make me feel right now"
I stood as I spoke, edging closer towards him, spitting the words of fury at his betrayed face.

"Find the Old Tommy some day, because he'll make a girl as happy as he made me, but I will not watch, at my own expense, his reputation of love tarnished by the monster you have made of yourself" my face in front of his, voice low and venomous, as I now move towards the door, not once looking back.

"Eve, sweetheart please don't leave, please come back, eh? We can work this out!" His pleas almost making me turn back, but with a shake of the head, my hand firmly grasping the doorknob, I say,
"There's nothing to work out, have fun with your whores"
And with the slam of the door, I had never felt so alone, by the person who was supposed to make me feel alive.