envy | tommy shelby imagines

[7] lampposts licking light down scarce streets.

"If I can stop one Heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain
If I can ease one Life the Aching
Or cool one Pain

Or help one fainting robin
Unto his Nest again,
I shall not live in Vain.
- if i can stop one heart from breaking // emily dickinson

t
TOMMY'S POV

SHE astounds me every moment of my being, her presence warms a room like a fire ignited in the middle of it, her smile brightens the sky better than the sun ever could,
But now that her light is fading into the dark alcoves of her soul, I can't muster the same light as she once did, she was the most excellent of all masterpieces, one that can't be copied or fraudulently past onto another. No.
She was one that had all the hope to give, unfortunately, she didn't leave enough for herself.

With a heaved sigh leaving my chapped lips, creating a clouded fog in the dismal, cold weather; i unlock the door to my abode, hoping to see the smile that stars envied the shine of, but instead, I was greeted with the floating dust that accumulated around our house, falling sadly to the floor as of her absence.

"Y/N, sweetheart, you 'ere?" My voice rapes the air of silence to call, even if it congealed itself again around the decibels as they fell on deaf ears.

My shoes make all the noise around the house, breaking the barriers of quiet to find her;
"Y/N, I'm comin' upstairs okay?" The shake in my voice becoming more prominent every day, as the strength behind it forgot how y pure-souled wife was like, but I never could.

*FLASHBACK*

"Tommy, darling come look at this!!" I heard her scream in joyous jubilation, as I shake my head, a small chuckle leaving my cold lips, and a make my way to wherever she is, as I always do.
As I enter our shared room, her back to me as she stairs out of the window, the sun beams going around her to make the wings she rightfully deserves,

She turns to me, smile stuck on her face like brick to plaster, and just when I thought she could never be more beautiful, her giggles like an angel, and beckons her hand for me to voyage my way to her, with the smirk half way across my face, I step.

"Look, this little robin is learning how to fly, you have to see this!" Her excitement dripping from every word like melted gold, with the shake of my head, the smile grew like a tree in spring,
"Is that what I rushed here for? A bird?" My sarcastic comment earned me a tap on the shoulder and a false glare, but her mouth couldn't help but stay upturned.

"It's just beautiful Thomas, maybe we should take more time to appreciate these things, we were once robins learning how to fly, imagine being like that again;" she now leans on the window pain, eyes wandering to the brilliance of her imagination.

"Be like what, a floor bound bird?" I deserved the glare I received, as my laugh heaved it's way through my chest, as her head shook at the feat,

"No, Tommy, being like a robin so excited to finally touch the sky, they spend days upon weeks upon any length of time to get there, until they're in the sky;
A time where we were robins, but turned into vultures instead" her eyes fell to the pavement, no longer wanting to see the purity in nature, but imagining the destruction of humanity instead.

"Maybe we're the only robins left, love; and that's okay too" my arm makes it around her waist, as her head falls into the space on my shoulder only reserved for her, my Y/N, the undying optimist.

*END OF FLASHBACK*

As I stand in the doorway of unforgotten memories, I see her sitting with her back to me, the sun no longer shining through the window, but the dark clouds taking their place, quite like her.

"Y/N darlin' what do you say we get away for a while soon? Go to Somerset where the airs nicer and the sun might come out? Eh?" The small joke going unbeknownst to her clouded soul. The silence only ever broken By the small pats of rain tapping the window, a sound that reminds me of a record waiting to start it's song, but hasn't reached the pinnacle line as of yet.

"Where's my little robin gone?" I whisper to her ignorant ears, as I bend down to reach for my beautiful hope, situating her between my opened legs in front of me, and arms finding their way to her unwelcoming arms.
Her breathing is the only sign of life,
"No matter where that fuckin' mind of yours goes, you're still my little robin" a kiss to her exposed shoulder is the most I've touched her in weeks.

She leans her head back, her eyes closed as if afraid to see what the world has come to around her.
"I'm tired of this Tommy, I'm so tired of feeling as if the world is going to suck me down through the ground, I want to touch the sky I do, I just can't do it right now" her meek voice calls through, a plea to the world to undo the shackles it's put around her delicate ankles and wrists, no bird should be tamed, how else could their soar?

"Well, how's about this, I'll run you a bath and bring the tea to you, and then we can take a walk down the street, under all the lamp lights as I know you'll outshine them anyway, and we'll kick the stones and see who's goes farther, and, and we can go to the greenery you love, and just look at the flowers, and you can name every single one and tell me that each one you pass is more beautiful than the other like you always do." She huffs a giggle, and turns to face me, my pitiful face not a match for hers, as her hand finds my cheek and strokes it, putting all the hope back into place again. With a nod of her head, my lips make their way to kiss the tip of her nose.

"Let's teach you how to fly again, huh?" Smile planted like an oak tree on my face, as I stare deep in the constellations of her eyes, and she does the same; and in that moment I know, she would blossom again like a tulip in spring, as she can only hibernate for so long.

My hope,
My love,
My Y/N

[ no I'm not dead, I have returned !!!!!
So sorry that it took so long, had the biggest block & whenever I'd start writing I'd delete it straight away, I wanted to post to you something I was proud of,
Thank you all for your support, vote if you feel it's worth it, and comment the good, bad and ugly as I appreciate it all 🖤 ]