Your Divine Grace {NamJin}

twenty

Seokjin's glossy, golden eyes fluttered open once again to see the red silk curtains of his rooms billowing in the soft breeze from the open windows. Covering his dresser were plum blossoms delicately spilling over a bowl and flowing around a batch of scrolls that seemed to be waiting to be delivered, and on his nightstand stood a jade cup filled with a clear liquid of some sort. He weakly tried to sit up, aching to stretch muscles that hadn't been used in days.

"Ah, ah," a soft, soothing voice calmly sighed, accompanied by a warm, gentle hand tenderly pushing him back into bed. Seokjin closed his eyes once more, assuming that it was Hoseok sitting next to him and tending to him. He barely remembered anything from the last time he was fully awake, save for Yoongi's grip being really tight on his arms and the bright moon staring down on his pale face.

"Just stay here, Seokjin. No need to worry now."

Seokjin was too tired to protest, and he knew that whoever was speaking was right. He relaxed in his position, shaking his head in defeat.

"Hoseok-sshi says you've been slipping in and out of consciousness for a few days. You haven't slept in a good while, have you?"

No...I haven't...

"You've been getting lots of visits. Countless people have left you their gifts, their well-wishes and their prayers, including Jungkook-sshi, Second Lord Kim, his beloved Lady Hae, their daughter, Hoseok-sshi, Yoongi-sshi, even Jimin-sshi. As soon as they heard what happened, they rushed to your bedside."

...w-wait...Hoseok-sshi isn't by my side? I've been unconscious for a few days...

"As for me..."

Seokjin rubbed his eyes and opened them once more to see the god-like, tanned, tearstained face of the man he'd been missing for too many moons; his eyes sparked like fireworks on the night of a country's independence, and his hair flowed down over his back and shoulders like the river of tears Seokjin had cried for so many lonely nights.

"...I hadn't really thought of bringing a gift. I was hoping that I could be enough."

Seokjin hadn't the strength to embrace him. He hadn't the strength to sit up and kiss him or tell him how much he missed him. He hadn't the strength to tell him everything he had gone through.

All he could do was hide his face in his pillow while he wept like he had never wept before.

Namjoon pulled Seokjin's body into his arms and held him close to his chest, laying sweet kisses on his forehead and caressing his back. Seokjin clutched Namjoon's robe as if he refused to let go and inhaled as much of that warm, spicy musk that made him feel safe. Nothing could separate them now, they knew, and nothing could get in the way of how they were feeling.

"Why do you hide from me, my beloved? Didn't you miss me?"

"Miss you?" Seokjin wailed, almost pushing Namjoon away.

"Miss you? I ached for you. Do you know how many nights I stayed up pining for you? Do you know how I longed for your letters? Do you know how empty this palace is without you? Do you know how empty I am without you?"

Namjoon's attempt to console Seokjin was interrupted by his nearly angry blustering.

"You don't know what I had to go through for you! That damned bastard and his five companions were touching every button I had on me! Then I made a friend with one of them and he served me loyally and we became like brothers and we stood up for each other and he helped me with Ryeoju-nim and everything was okay until one of them invaded the palace and tried to kill me! Yejun put him up to it and I tried to be fair with him but Yejun sent the other two to kill everyone and I thought they were dead but they weren't and I thought I made another friend but he wanted to leave and Yejun killed my friends before I killed him and-- and--"

"Seokjin"--

"I was alone! Everyone left me and I was alone! I had to say I was sorry to everyone and you put me up to it and damn you, Kim Namjoon, I love you more than anything else in the world -- I did this all for you and you have the fucking nerve to ask me if I missed you?!"

Namjoon sat there in an astounded silence.

"I'm sorry," Seokjin began again, shaking his head. He pulled Namjoon back into his arms, trying to calm his stormy emotions -- and, slowly but surely, Namjoon embraced him once more.

"I'm just s-so flustered and...I'm afraid, I don't want you to leave me again...I'm so glad you're back, Namjoon-ah-- please don't leave me again"--

"I'll never leave you again, my love," Namjoon smiled, still half nervous.

"I'm not angry with you or anything, Namjoon-ah. I just haven't spoken to anyone about my feelings -- save Taehyung, maybe, but I've never gone into full detail with him. Not like I do with you. Am I even making any sense?"

"All the sense in the world," Namjoon said, rocking him back and forth.

"I'm glad that at least I haven't gone crazy," Seokjin giggled, looking up at Namjoon.

The two sat there in silence once more, just enjoying each other's healing company.

"I wasn't trying to hide from you, Namjoonie," Seokjin murmured, happier than any morning lark in a plentiful pond.

"Why did you shy away from me, love?"

"I sob ugly," Seokjin laughed, causing Namjoon to laugh as well.

"Really?" Namjoon laughed, shaking his head.

"Yes, and you know it."

"No I don't. I don't know any ugly person. I only know my beautiful, wonderful, kind, intelligent, perfectly created being known as Kim Seokjin."

"And I only know my amazing, fair, handsome, passionate, clever, gentle, flawlessly created being known as Kim Namjoon."

The two looked into each other's eyes, reading the sincerity and hunger in their soft glow. Even as they were, holding each other as close as any lovers could get, they still yearned passionately for each other, longing to close the small yet enormous gap between them somehow.

And so they did, leaning in closer to each other and sharing a long, romantic, blissful kiss.