Treacherous//book 1

22

Emptiness swarms my stomach. Each day this feeling is growing more and more and I can't seem to get the thought of Stefan and California out of my head. Then there's also this baby growing inside me. I'm not even two months pregnant and my mind is filled entirely with baby thoughts.

Damon and I are still on bad terms. The only person who knows what happened is still Stefan. I know it will only create problems between everyone with Damon again if I were to say what happened the other night so for right now, those events are between Damon, Stefan and I. Plus, he has been keeping Elena distracted from Stefan and for some reason, I'm more than okay with that.

I take out my diary and start writing in it.

I am left confused as always. I don't think Stefan used California as a no humanity tactic to get under my skin. There is something real behind it and it is definitely possible that I was compelled since I was off vervain in Cali. My life is becoming a nightmare and I just want to shrink away from it. Oh, and can we just talk about the fact that I'm going to be a mom? Just about a year ago I was drinking and partying and care free. It should be against the law that I'm pregnant. I still don't know if I should keep it or give it up. Hopefully, this thing growing inside of me is lucky enough to make it out alive and healthy. I guess I should give myself more credit though. I'm raising a doppelgänger and Jeremy so a baby can't be too hard. Right? I might just be delusional. I really can't be doing too bad a job if all three of us are still alive!

I walk downstairs and the house is empty. I go into Jeremy's room and sigh, remembering he's being a crazy, carefree teen in California. Just like I was.

I sit on his bed and smell the only shirt he left behind. His mystic grill shirt from when he used to work there. I laugh at that distant memory. He hated his job and dreaded going to work every morning. Thank god for Matt covering for him!

I exit Jeremy's room and walk into my parents/ Jenna's old room. Again, I sigh.

I go into the closet, seeing some of Jenna's stuff still in there. It takes everything in me not to break down. My best friend growing up is really gone. I can't even go visit her grave without getting so angry. And what makes me angrier is seeing the man who killed her have a soft side and even though he has this crazy drive for Elena's blood, I still see the little bit of humanity in this man.

There's nothing to do and no one to hang out with so I randomly start going through my phone. I look through old photos and messages, but nothing pops up about Stefan. I sigh extra loudly.

"Maybe there isn't anything after all," I say to myself. Maybe I'm just going crazy. I then get a call from Elena. I answer it immediately.

"Hello?"
"Uh hey Jay"
"Hey what's up Le?"
"Um, I think you should come to the hospital. Caroline just found her dad murdered and he's going to wake up a vampire any minute now".
"Oh okay. I'm on my way. Need anything?"
"No. Just come as fast as you can please".

I nod my head and then mentally slap myself because she can't see me. I hang up the phone and run out the door with my bag. I get into the car and drive as fast as the speed limit let's me get to the hospital. Okay, you're right. Maybe I was going a little faster than I'm admitting. Sue me.

Once I arrive, I bump into Dr. Fell. I only know her because of her cousin that dated Jenna during high school. Logan. I wonder what ever happened to that douchebag. Can't be anything good. Especially not in this town. I narrow my eyes, remembering what Alaric told me about her. Then it clicks in my head. 

"Do you know where Bill Forbes is?" I ask. She smiles. 

"I can't give that information out" she responds.