Stitched up Heart

Kitten

Lewis was pretty on edge for the rest of the afternoon, but that was understandable. He been attacked for crying out loud, he had every reason to be freaked out. I managed to calm him down and reassure him that Matthew wasn't going to bother him again. Of course, I didn't know for sure that Matthew going to stop bulling him. However I did know that if he dared lay a finger on Lewis again there be more than a few words exchanged.

The whole incident made Lewis really paranoid. Every noise made him jump, even if it was only me making a floorboard creek. He couldn't on anything focus. He had anothe panic attack from thinking about it. 

I'd been in the kitchen cooking when it started. "Rhys." Lewis called out from the other room. "Rhys I need help." I turned the cooker off - a fire was the last thing I wanted. When I walked into the living room, Lewis was sat right on the edge of the sofa with his hands gripping the fabric. His head was down and I noticed his breathing was fast and shaky. "Lewis, it ok, I'm here." I knelt down I front of him. "Lewis, look at me." He just shook his head. Then I realised he was digging his nails into his hands and not the sofa. "Woah stop, you're gonna hurt yourself." I took his hands in mine and he relaxed. Luckily, he hadn't done any real damage to himself.

"I'm... scared Rhys. I-I can't do this." He replied finally.

"You can do this, you already have! Look, I swear he won't hurt you again." Trying my best to reassure him, I kissed his forehead gently as I stood up. 

"D-don't go Rhys." There was a genuine look of terror on his face.

"I'm not leaving, I'm just going to be in he kitchen." 

Even though it was only the other room, I hated leaving him alone. I didn't want him to hurt himself or have another panic attack. It scared me as well, I just tried my best to cover it up so he wouldn't freak out even more. I was glad he didn't have to live through what I had. 

Lewis and I sat in the living room to eat (he didn't want to be in the kitchen). A storm was brewing outside and the wind whistled through the trees. You could hear each rain drop as it hit the glass. We had the curtains drawn and the lights on a low setting so they were quiet dim. Also, because it was autumn, it was already dark outside. So there was very little light in the room. For some reason, this made Lewis feel safer than in the bright light. It was nearly 9 o'clock and Lewis kept yawning but every time I mentioned the idea of sleep he refused to admit he was tired. It was pretty clear he was - in fact he was more that tired, he looked exhausted.

"Why don't you get some rest? No offence, but you look like you need it." I said as I took the empty plates out to the kitchen. Lewis followed me, rubbing his eyes.

"N-no, I'm not tired." He moved his hair out of his bloodshot eyes. I raised an eyebrow as if to question this. "Well maybe I am... a bit." He looked like he was going to collapsed if he stayed up a minute longer.

"Look I'll carry you up the stairs if I have to but you're going to bed, that's not an option." He sighed and gave into the tiredness. Gently he put his arms around my neck and I picked him up. As I climb up the stairs he rested his head on my chest, he looked like he'd fallen asleep on me. I used my hip to bump open his door. When I laid him down on the bed he opened his eyes again. 

"R-Rhys don't leave me alone please. What if... what if he comes back when I'm asleep? I know you said he won't but, what if-"

"Hush. I'm not going anywhere. I'll stay right here if you want me to." He nodded and accepted that he needed to sleep. Semi-consciously, he turned over and sighed. I watched his breathing steady out as he drifted off. At least his mind could be at peace for a while. Delicately, I stoked his hair and moved it out of his face for him. "Goodnight, kitten." I whispered as I stood up. 

Kitten? Where had that come from? Honestly, I didn't really know. Maybe it's because thats what Lewis reminded me of, a kitten -  cute, innocent, timid. It just seemed to fit... him. 

Reluctantly, I left him alone and went back to my room, shutting both of our doors. Once I was changed, I lay down on my bad with one hand on my stomach and the other behind my head. I stared up that the pale ceiling and just smiled. I'd made the right decision, to stay. I couldn't bare to leave him on his own, especially after the Matthew episode. Who knows what he might do to himself if I'm not there. If he hurt himself because I wasn't there to stop him, I'd never forgive myself. 

Tomorrow I'd figure out what to do about my dad. I'd fix the only other thing that needed mending. The only other thing apart from...

Sleep hit me before I could finish my thought. 

** Ok, here's the truth, I don't know what I should do next. If you have any suggestions (I mean literally anything) please comment it and help me out. **