Effortless (h.s.)

Chapter TWENTY THREE - bright mornings

There are points in your life where you have sudden epiphanies, whether it's the loss of a loved one or nearly dying yourself. You wake up one day, just like any other, but the events in that day compile up in your head and while laying your head down to fall asleep, there is a completely different mindset being formed.

It may be small, it may be huge. But each time this happens, they add up. It is practically a stockpile of experiences making you have certain morals that differ from your friends, family, and the average person you run into on the street.

When explaining experiences to others, they listen, absorb the information, and then carry on their day to day life. Thinking it's just a story and it could never happen to them.

This might be one of these stories to you, but I really hope that you can go further than just listening and then going on with your daily routine. Maybe if people took in other peoples epiphanies, we could all live a much simpler and consistent life.

Sadly that is such a false reality.

I set the blue ball point pen down on the still damp ink, leaving my journal open on my bed to air dry. The fan above me gently pushed the pages around beneath the pens weight.

My lips curled up in a slight smile, I hadn't written since my junior year of college. This was quite rubbish but it was something. I shut my eyes and breathed in, letting the air fill my lungs from the bottom up until they couldn't accept any more in them.

The light shined into my bedroom, the metal fire escape reflected a rainbow onto the corner of my bed. It felt different in here today. Brighter, happier, clearer.

I stood up and changed into a pair of running shorts and an over sized t-shirt, my thinned out legs were on full display now with my shorts being hidden by the shirt. I dug out my sneakers from the back of the closet. I had put them there on purpose, not thinking I would ever really need them again.

After double-knotting the two shoes, I stood up from the edge of my bed and left my bright bedroom and into the darker living room. Rubbing my eyes, I unlocked the door and shut it behind me and re-locked it.

I couldn't help but look down in the direction of Harry's apartment, it was a Wednesday morning so he didn't need me right now. He was gone for the next few hours.

My feet stayed put, staring down that ugly, blue-carpeted, striped gray wallpaper hallway.

I turned around and started to make my way down the stairs, but halted cold. I could almost put together the pieces from the night I blacked out, but the memories just weren't there.

I started to step down the stairs once more, slowly at first but quickly picking up my pace to avoid the strange feeling in my gut. The muscles in my thighs were tightened and warmed up from the stairs, so I decided to take off for the first run in a while.

It was obvious I hadn't ran in a while, my pace was so fast right off the start. I dodged people and soon enough turned down a side walk that didn't have many others on it so I wouldn't have to deal with anyone. The brick buildings seemed to go on forever. A sea of brick over came me, it was almost like I wasn't making any progress because the scenery was the same the entire time.

I blinked back tears of frustration and continued on with the run. There was no way I was going to quit now, I was already too far in to back out.

--

I rested my sweaty back on the brick wall outside of the apartment complex, catching my breath before deciding to go inside. I watched people walk in front of the building. Majority of them were in a hurry, rushing about, not even noticing the heavily breathing girl inspecting their every move.

It was something me and my dad used to do, come up with different stories for each person. Who they were, what they did, and where they were going.

My head fell as the thoughts started to flood my mind again.

So much for clearing my head with a run.

I ducked my head in shame and pulled open the heavy glass door, looking up when I started my journey up the stairs. I gasped and stumbled back into the wall at the bottom of the stairs.

"Oh..." I groaned, my eyes drifted close and I relaxed my head against the wall. It was so comfortable... why don't I stand here more often?

A hand found it's way on my lower back, I opened my eyes to reveal Harry standing awfully close to me. I giggled and let my head fall onto his chest instead of the wall, "So comfortable... Harry why don't we stand here more often? The wall, it's so- uh nice," I spurted out in small fragments.

"We can stand here tomorrow, promise, let's go stand upstairs right now though, come ed'," his voice was scratchy and low like he had just woken up. I pulled back from him to see what he was wearing quickly and fell back into the wall, my neck snapped forward from the impact.

"Lennon, stop," he demanded, harshly grabbing at my shoulders to pull be back into him.

"I want to see you..." I moaned, trying to pull away again. Harry let me lean back a little but didn't let go of my shoulders, I didn't bother looking at his face but saw he was wearing a white see-through shirt and some mustard yellow cotton shorts. A little smile crept onto my lips and I shut my eyes again, going back into his grasp and hugging him tightly.

"What are you on?" He laughed, trying to push me away but to no avail, I refused to let go, "You never want to see me."

I yanked away from him and dropped my jaw in shock, "I always want to see you, are you kidding?"

My eyes developed tears rather quickly but I blinked them back and I forced myself up the stairs, blocking my mind from any more unwanted memories coming back to me. How was I remembering this? I guess sometimes things slowly come back over time or maybe I just blacked it all out myself from embarrassment, with no help from the alcohol.

I ignored it, bolting up the stairs to my door. My shaky legs had a hard time squatting, but I managed, I lifted up the doormat and pulled the silver key out from underneath it.

"The one down there?" A feminine voice cut into the silent nearby air, it echoed in the air.

The blood drained out of my rosy colored cheeks at the commotion. Somehow I knew what was happening before I even moved.

My neck snapped over to where the sound came from, "No, I don't think you do!" I squeezed the muscles in my legs and stood up gradually.

The familiar brunette appeared around the corner, staring me down and rushing down the hall.

I continued to unlock my door, this isn't any of my business.

But when she passed her shoulder slammed into mine. Sierra was a tiny girl, sure, but the momentum she had going for herself was enough to knock me over and into my door. I leaned against on the wooden door in shock while she ran down the blue stairs.

My face fell, the pieces starting to sort themselves out in my jumbled up head.

I placed the palms of my hands on my door and pushed myself up, turning to see Harry standing around the corner. I couldn't help but notice his outfit, he was wearing a full on suit. He had on a white top underneath his red and black plaid outfit. We stared at each other in shock, he breathed in when he saw my face morph into pain. He didn't move.

Harry wasn't at a meeting, he was with Sierra.

I didn't waste time to open my door, and then harshly shut it behind me.

I made sure to lock both locks.