His Servant

The crying wind

I groaned awake and searched for Hooney immediately. I saw a blurred figure of a man beside me, I blinked his blurriness away and found Li He instead of Hooney.

"Li He..." My voice weak and empty.

He gave me his regard and forced a smile. Li He failed, he couldn't erase the sadness in his face. "You were asleep for a few days, Hui."

I breathe as I felt the tender ache of my body. It's taken that long to wane off the bane that wreaked havoc and killed my baby.

I regarded my brother, relieved to see him, but I was looking for the sense of security I have in Hooney's presence. When I didn't find him, I plunged into worry and insecurity. "Where's Hooney?"

"He left to see his father." Li He answered. "Don't worry, he'll be back immediately. Lord Hooney was angry, and he couldn't wait to see his father about what happened."

The memory of losing my child came back fresh in my mind. My tears welled up. "Where's the baby?"

Li He swallowed, his voice fell into desolation, almost as if he didn't want to speak. "He'd been buried. Lord Hooney buried him. We couldn't preserve his body, we wanted to wait for you, so you can have one last look at your child, but you were delirious and we didn't know whether you're going to survive or die. We're relieved when the healer finally had you stabilized. We thought for sure you were going to die."

"Where's Niang?" I asked as I felt the surge of my anger rise.

"She's spending her time with her family. She locked herself in her room after Hooney came for her. She acted like a petrified dog, you know." Li He laughed bitterly. "Made herself look like the victim and Hooney to be the abusive husband...She's a piece of work!"

I was relieved finding out she's gone. I don't want her to come back, wishing life was the same when Hooney was my master and I was his servant. Life was better then, I didn't have to endure this kind of sacrifice, I didn't have to watch my back or fear for my life.

"You know, I fucked that woman every night because I thought she'll leave you alone if I did." Li He looked away with a hardened face, his entire body radiated with rage. "I wanted to protect you and your baby, but she did what she meant to do anyway. Nothing I did matter, she used me like a piece of garbage just because I had plenty to lose and people to protect. She used them against me. Do you know what's it like to be taken advantage of?"

I felt the overwhelming sorrow for him. Niang had preyed on Li He and me, and she destroyed both of our lives for her own pleasure.

"I'm sorry Li He." I murmured without knowing the right words to say. He made too many sacrifices already, and I don't want him making any more. I didn't want to see my own brother destroyed because of me. I felt the need to fix things, so he could continue to live with his career and flourish - without getting tied to the mistake his father made. There's no reason for him to suffer, Li He didn't have to pay for his father's sins.

I forced myself upon getting up, I groaned as I felt my flesh burned beneath my skin.

"What're you doing? You need to lay back down." Li He protested.

I shook my head. "No, I need to go. I need to get away from here."

His hand pressed on my shoulder and pushed me back to bed. I fell easily on my back, weak from the poison and miscarriage. "Rest." He said. "I know what's going on in your mind." His hand glided over my head and gave me an affectionate look. "I know that you're angry and things are racing in your head without knowing what to do with them. If I let you act on them now, I could promise you, nothing good will come out of it. So, please don't rush into doing anything you'll regret. Calm down for now and I promise you things will fall into place."

I trusted him, I trusted Li He to know what he's saying. I have no else to look up to, and Hooney isn't here to make me feel safe.

I fell asleep again, and when I woke up the second time, Hooney was there beside me. He looked haggard and exhausted. Hooney had his eyes closed, his breathing slow, and I watched him as he slept with his arms crossed to his chest.

I shifted careful not to wake him, but my stirring woke him up anyway. "Hui." He groaned picking his eyelids open.

"You're back." I murmured.

"Yes. I had to leave but I was only gone for a day."

"It's fine, Li He told me everything while you were gone."

He nodded and fell quiet, I could tell he's too exhausted to even speak. His arms uncrossed from his chest and reached them out to me, I crawled inside them searching for that security. "It's alright..." Hooney crooned as he rested his head over my shoulder. "I won't let her near you ever again."