In Our Dreams

Part 4

In her bathroom, Stevie was going through her nightly routine after she and Lindsey said goodnight to each other and he went to one of the guestrooms' for the night. Once she was finished with her lotions and creams, Stevie walked out of the bathroom and was ready to get in bed, but she stopped. She glanced at the closed door of her bedroom, hearing footsteps in the hallway. It was Lindsey, she knew that, he probably just went to get a glass of water, but...

Twisting the doorknob, Stevie stepped out of her room, seeing Lindsey going back to his temporary one. "Is everything okay?" She rushed to ask.

Lindsey turned to face her and nodded his head. "Yeah, I left my phone downstairs." He held it up, showing her.

"Oh, alright." Stevie smiled. "Well, goodnight then."

"Goodnight, Steph." Lindsey said and closed the door behind him.

Sighing heavily, Stevie reentered her bedroom and crawled into bed. They had a lovely evening together. She missed them and he said, he did too. She wasn't going to fall asleep yet, it was still a bit early for her, so Stevie took her journal and opened it, writing down her thoughts and feelings. Lindsey didn't seem interested in her in any way other than just a friend. Maybe it was for the better. They'd gone down that particular road one too many times and it never ended well. She lied to herself that they'd become too old for affairs and sneaking around. He confessed that life at home wasn't going so well, maybe he was trying to fix that, which made him keep his distance from her. Stevie had to respect that. He had a wife, he had children. He had a lot to lose, a lot more than she did.

A knock on the door brought Stevie back to the present moment and she looked up over the rim of her glasses. "Come in."

"Hey." Lindsey pushed the door open, wearing nothing else but his boxers, he remained standing in the doorway. It seemed like he wasn't really sure why he was there himself.

"Hey." Stevie echoed, waiting for him to continue.

"Are you busy?"

"No." She shook her head, closing her journal she put it down on the nightstand. "Did you need something?"

Lindsey swallowed uneasily, scratching the back of his head, he shrugged. "No." He told her honestly, chuckling nervously.

"Okay..." Stevie gave him a look, still waiting.

"I was wondering if... you know..."

"I don't know, Linds." Stevie laughed lightly, shaking her head. "What is it?"

"Is that side of the bed taken?" He asked, showing to the empty space next to her. Well, almost empty.

Taking her dog into her lap, Stevie replied. "Now it isn't."

Without further encouragement, Lindsey approached the bed and pulled the covers down, making himself comfortable. Switching the beside lamp off, Stevie lay down on her side, face to face with Lindsey. It was dark, but they could feel each other's stare. His hand settled on her hip. She didn't know how to react.

"I don't want you to feel used." Lindsey spoke up after a minute.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we always do this, Steph." He sighed. "When we're together, we have to be together. You must think I'm an asshole for doing this to you every time, but it's... it's not easy. I wish, we didn't have to hide and I wish, love didn't have to start out in the darkness." He quoted one of her songs, but it spoke the truth.

"I know..." He knew she looked away.

"I hate that our love only exists in our dreams."

That hit her hard. Hearing those words made her heart ache, but it wasn't any less true.

"At least I have you in my dreams." She said, suddenly wanting to pull away from him.

"Don't, please." He asked, tightening his grip on her.

So, she snuggled up to him instead. She couldn't deny it, she loved nothing more than being wrapped in his arms.

"You still mean the world to me, Steph, even if I don't always show you that." Lindsey said, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I love you."

"Don't." She shook her head. "Don't say that, okay?"

He understood.

Placing the palm of his hand on her cheek, he tilted her chin up. Leaning in, he pressed a lingering kiss to her lips, which didn't escalate into anything more.

But he couldn't keep himself from saying it again. "I love you."