Beneath The Surface

Chapter 25

3rd POV
It had only been a few hours since the members left and Tae was a complete mess. Throwing things around the room, constantly breaking down into crying fits one minute then overflowing with rage the next. He lost any sense of control over his emotions that he had. Progressively spiraling out of control as he continued to relive the past through flashes of memory in his head.

Not to mention the agonizing pain he continued to feel in his head going back and forth with V. If he thought punching himself right now would shut him up he would and he did try at one point but of coarse it did nothing but hurt himself. He could feel himself reaching a limit, he didn't know what would happen when he reached it nor did he know the what the limit was. He could just feel himself getting tired, he was really tired but it wasn't the kind sleep could fix. The same kind tiredness he's felt many times before.

Flashback

"Tae! There you are I've been looking everywhere for you!" Taehyon shouted running toward Taehyung who sat on the edge of the rooftop. "Oh Hyung hey" Tae replied for sounding so distant. "What are you doing up here it's time to go home" Taehyon said walking up to sit next to his brother. "Don't know" Tae replied simply. "What do you mean?" Hyon asked getting a little worried about his brothers expression, it was so blank and unfeeling.

"I mean I don't remember getting up here, but I didn't want to leave either" Tae said exhaling deeply. Hyon look at him softly understanding his brothers state. "Tae.... have you been talking to V?" He asked grabbing his hand in a comforting manner. "Will you be mad if I said yes?" Tae said stiffening the arm Hyon took hold of.

"Yes and no. You know you shouldn't talk to him the doctor said he's bad for you like lex is for me" Hyon said looking sternly at Tae but not enough to scare him. "He doesn't know what he's talking about, V doesn't hurt me he helps me" Tae said raising his voice in irritation. "So telling you to kill yourself is being helpful?" Hyon retorted matching Tae's tone.

"If that's what I want it is." Tae mumbled "TAE-" Hyon started before he was cut off. "Hyung I'm tired, I've been tired and no matter what I do there's always this weightless pressure pressing down onto my chest. Making it feel as though I can barely breathe even though I'm breathing fine. I can't sleep without waking from nightmares, I don't like when anyone other than you touches me and I can't stand talking to Dr.Zeal. All he does is bring everything back up wanting to talk about my feelings all the time it's SO ANNOYING!" Tae said screaming the last bit in irritation as his grip on the edge tighter then loosened tilting him forward.

"T-Tae, What can I do to help? What do you want me to do? Please I'll do anything?" Taehyon pleaded almost crying at his brothers distress. "Anything?" Tae asked. "Yes! Whatever you want" Taehyon assured bringing him into a hug. "Hold my hand or Let me go" Taehyung said gripping Hyon's shirt tightly. "What? What do you m-" Taehyon stopped pulling back to look Tae in the eyes.

That's when it clicked, there was no saving Tae from him current state to go back to the way things were. He should understand that the most when his recent behavior was simply a farce he played for others to trick them. Driving their attention away from his crude outbursts towards his classmates when he got them alone. The cruelty he'd show to those he felt looked at him with pity, matched the same that had been shown to him.

He knew how to shut them up and how to cover his tracks, no one suspected a thing. He had that as an outlet while Tae had no such thing. He couldn't bring himself to lash out on others, he'd rather inflict that pain on himself. Drowning himself in vicious attempts to end his life, time and time again.

"If I hold your hand will you be happy?"Taehyon asked eyes unwavering. "I'll be happy when it's over, so it doesn't matter." Tae said looking into hyon's eyes but more so looking through them. "I can't live without you, if you go I'll be alone. You're the only thing that makes me happy even now when I'm so damaged. Only you love me like that, so there's no question I'll hold your hand." Taehyon said gripping Tae's hand tightly as he sat himself closer to him.

They sat silent looking at the sky for a while before anyone spoke. "Tae?" Hyon called "Hm?" Tae hummed in response. "You know all those reports of missing people on the news recently?" Hyon asked voice quiet. "Yea?" Tae responds eyes still looking at the sky. "It was me" Taehyon said regret laced in his voice because deep down he know what he was doing was wrong. The hand holding his tightened "I know" Tae said bringing his eyes down to look at the ground.

Taehyon shocked by the response snapped his head towards Tae. He truly thought he was hiding it from him, his attempt at keeping him innocent that way. "How?" He asked demanding to know what gave him away. "I know you and I know that your hurting. Ever since we were little you tried to shield me away from certain things or people. When people talked about us, calling us weird and disgusting I knew. I knew what you and Dicky did to those people too, I just pretended I didn't because I understood that was the way you wanted it. I thought pretending I was any different would make you happy. Even though I wanted to do the same to those that tried to hurt you" Tae explained.

"Oh" was all Hyon said for a while, letting Tae's words slowly tear down his mask. "Ha! Would you look at that, I guess we're both broken" he laughed sadly. "Guess so" Tae replied sighing heavily. "Is it weird I don't feel anything right now?" Tae asked genuinely curious. "I'd say it was for the best given what we're about to do" Hyon said taking in a big breath. "You ready?" He asked releasing it. "Yeah" Tae replied lifting himself up pulling Hyon up with him. "On the count of three"

"1"

"2"

"3"

Helllloo peoples I know I know I haven't updated anything in forever and eternity......... Well get over it I updated now😂. Schedule changed and I didn't feel like writing and when I started a while ago nothing came out. So hope you enjoy this depressing chapter it just about sums up my whole mood right now. I JUST WANT SLEEP. 😩