The Girl I Loved Once

Chapter 7

In the past two days, we have yet to ever even open When the Cock Crows . Waste of twenty dollars. After Lit I had Chem, a class where I sit in front of Lara Jean.

I never noticed her before everything went down, but now, I'm so aware of her presence. It's like, at first, I never saw her, but now she's everywhere.

I sat down in my seat, and watched her slip in her chair behind me in my peripheral vision. I was on edge the entire class. Every puff of air from the fan made the hair on the back of my head stand up, which is why when she tapped me, I practically jumped out of my seat. I turned around to see Lara Jean looking at me with a note between her fingers. She mouthed Take it, and I nodded and grabbed it. I slumped back into my seat as I read it under my desk. It read:

Why did you tell Josh we were a thing?

I laughed to myself. The only person I've ever heard say the phrase a thing is my mom. I wrote back:

A thing? haha

I passed it back and she swiftly grabbed it. I could hear her getting annoyed with me. She tapped me and passed me the note.

Please just answer the question

I wrote back:

We'll talk later.

As soon as class ends, I'm being harassed by friends badgering me about the upcoming lacrosse game. It's the deciding game that will take us to the championship. I slip out, and find Lara Jean packing up her backpack, and I slip on the desk next to her. I force a casual icebreaker, "So, let's talk." She looks up from her backpack. "Why did you tell Josh we were together?"

"I don't get what you're so upset about." I replied. " I could have blown your whole cover." I wouldn't have, but it feels good to insinuate it. Genevieve once said it gives the illusion of power. "So why didn't you?" Lara Jean said. Her answer takes me by surprise. "You've got a funny way of saying you're welcome. You're welcome, by the way." I can see her getting uncomfortable. "Thank you. I appreciate you letting me kiss you" I cut her off "You're welcome." I say. I know she's not serious. "That was really generous of you. To let me do that. But I've already explained to Josh that it's not going to work out because Genevieve has you whipped. So it's all good. We can stop pretending now." I felt that jab. It hurt, and the look on her face makes me realize she knew that jab hurt. But she's not backing down. "I'm not whipped," I say. It came out more sad and less angry then I hoped it would. "But aren't you, though? I mean, you guys have been together since seventh grade. You're basically her property."

"You don't know what you're talking about." She started to chuckle. "Wasn't there a rumor last year that she make you get a tattoo of her initials on your butt last year for her birthday?" She laughed and started to reach for my ass "did you?" I yelped and jumped away, which made her laugh even harder. "So you do have a tattoo!" I was less sad and more angry now. "I don't have a tattoo!" I yelled. "And we're not even together anymore. So can you stop this shit? We broke up. I'm done with her."

"Wait..didn't she break up with you?" I shot her a annoyed glance. " I was mutual." I spout. She rolls her eyes and continues on. "Well, you'll probably get back together soon. You've broken up before, right? Only to get back together again. Immedietly. It's probably because you were each others firsts. That's why you can't let each other go. I've heard that's how it is with firsts. Especially with guys." Everything she just said takes me so off guard I forgot how to return back to my guard. "How did you know-"

"Oh everyone knows! You guys did it freshman year in her basement." My mouth dropped to the floor, then I nod silently. "See?" She continued, "Even I know and I'm a nobody. And anyway, even if you guys stay broken up for good, it's not like anyone else could date you." I give her a confusing look. "Let's not forget about Jamila Singh." I remember Jamila. She was hot, a different hot than Gen. She had a tiny waist and a big ass. We had fun together, she was crazy. Someone started a rumor she had an Indonesian slave and told her mom we were having sex. Next thing I knew she went to private school and I never saw her again. "Gen said she had nothing to do with that." She did. I knew she did. "Please Peter, I know her well and so do you." I didn't hear what else she said, my mind drifted off when I realized that this was my turn to make a jab at her. "Oh yeah, I forgot you two were bffs back in the day." Now she's the one who's hurt. "We were friends." She stammered. "I wouldn't call us BFFs but.." her words trail off. "Anyway, everybody knows it was Genevieve who told Jamilas parents. You don't have be a detective to-" I trail off deep in thought. Wait a minute. Genevieve went crazy when she found out me and Jamila were dating. So what if Lara Jean and I staged a relationship to make Gen and Josh jealous? It's a fullproof plan! My thoughts are interrupted when I see Lara Jean pause to stare at me "What?"
"Let's do this for a little while." I say. She gives me a puzzled look. "Do what?"
"Let's let people think we're dating." I'm nervous to even present the idea.
"Wait-what?"
"It's driving Gen crazy not knowing what's going on with you and me! Why don't we let her sit with it a little bit longer. It's actually kind of perfect. You date me first, and then Gen will get that we're over. You'll be breaking the seal." I laugh to myself. Does she even know what breaking the seal means? "Do you even know what that means?"
"Yes I know what that means!" She says, faking a tone of confidence. I move in closer to her, and say quietly "so then break my seal." I tilt my head; insinuating for her to kiss me, but he backs away. "Ha-ha, sorry peter, but I'm not into you like that"

"Well that's the point; I'm not interested in you either." I smile. "So, what do you say?" She shruggs her shoulders. "Hello, I just got through explaining how Gen will kill any girl who goes near you. You don't know her like I do." I give her a Ok, sure look. I suddenly think of the perfect way to get her to go through with it. "This will help you out with that kid Josh, you know," she suddenly looked interested. "Weren't you so worried about losing face in front of him?this could save you from more humiliation. Because why would you be with him when you could be with me?" I realize what I said by accident and I backtrack. "Well, pretend to be. Strictly business, though. I can't have you falling in love with me." I give her a sweet face. "Peter I don't wanna be your pretend girlfriend, much less your real one." This takes me by surprise. I'm honestly not used to this. Girls usually say yes. "Why not?" I say. "You read my letter, you're not my type-"
"But I'm everyone's type!"
"-nobody would ever believe that I like you like that." I pause for a moment. "It's up to you, I'm just trying to do you both a favor." I that moment I see her pause and decide for a moment. She's gonna say no, I think. Then, she took me by surprise and says "Let's do it."

. . . .

Hours later, I'm lying in bed thinking Lara Jean Song Covey is my pretend girlfriend. Middle school me would be hysterical. Highschool me is.. excited.