The Girl I Loved Once

Chapter 30

I park my car, in the driveway of a house I hoped to never have to see again. 

Gens house.

Gens driveway.

Gens. 

She called me unexpectedly, not having a nervous breakdown but being a little depressed and needed someone to talk to. And we're friends. Friends are here for each other, right? 

I lock the car door as I step out. Lucas Krapf is walking his tiny dog. He sees me and waves. "Hi!" he yells. 

I wave back. "Cute dog."

"Thanks. Why are you at Gens?"

I figured he would ask, he and Lara Jean are friends.

"She called me. Shes going through some stuff, and needed someone to talk to. And we're friends now, so."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Well alright. See ya 'round, Peter."

I wave at him and he walks away. I begin to brave the steps, one foot at a time. I was hoping her parents would be home, that way she probably wouldn't try anything. But all I see is her convertible and a bunch of bikes in the garage, and no cars on the street.  So I took a deep breath, and rang the doorbell. 

"Hey Peter!" Gen said, in a sing-songy voice.  She grabbed my arm and pulled me into the foyer, and into the living room.  I sat down on the couch. "Hey Gen, you seem alright...I thought you were upset..." 

"Oh yeah, I'm kinda over that now."

"Over it?"

"Yeah!"

"So why am I even here?" I said angrily. 

"To hang out silly." Gen said cheerfully. She walked over to the bar and took out two White Claws from the fridge.

"No thanks, I'm driving." I said, waving her off. 

"Peter, it's one White Claw."

"Its still achohol, Gen."

She rolled her eyes, and reluctantly put the drink back in the fridge 

"So can I get you something else? A coke? Sprite? Water?"

"Nah Gen, I can't stay."

Gen shot me a shocked look. "What? Why?" she yelled. "Are you going to Lara Jean?"

I shifted uncomfortably. "What would you care if I was?"

"I'm just asking a question." she says. 

"Well no, I'm not. I have a Biology test tomorrow, and I only came over because I thought you were really upset."

"But I'm not, so why can't we just hang out? I have the same test, we can study together." She said.

"Nah, Gen. I'm good. I'm just gonna go." I say. I get up and walk to the front door.

"Peter! What? Come back!" Gen yelled behind me. She tried to grab my arm but I pulled it back before she could touch me. Then Im running outside into my Audi, praying to whatever God-like being that is up there that Gen would show mercy and not chuck her Valentino kitten heal at the back of my head. And she didn't, she just stood in the doorway, with a sad and angry, mostly angry, expression on her face as she watched me drive away. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

The next day I'm on a high. I don't see Gen at all, the chem test was easy, and  I'm still in relaxed study hall mode when I wander into Chemistry. Lara Jeans sitting there, but she won't meet my eyes. I worry for a second, and I'm about to go over when the teacher comes in and I scurry to my seat, which was in front of her.

Halfway through the class, Lara Jean taps me on the shoulder and slips a tiny pink post-it note into my hand. I open it, and my good mood from earlier drains out of my body like a waterfall, and all of a sudden I can't feel my fingers. My back shoots up from its relaxed slouch to straight. 

You were right about Josh

I read it. Then I read it again.  

Be more specific, I write back.

He kissed me

My entire body stiffens. I didn't realize how hard I was squeezing my pen until the bell rang, and I looked down at my hand, which was covered in blue ink. I turn around and look at Lara Jean. 

"What the hell? How did that even happen?"

"He came over to help us trim the tree."

"And then what? He kissed you in front of Kitty?"

"No! It was just the two of us in the house." she says. 

I'm  a mix of every emotion. I'm angry, irritated, but mainly jealous. I'm jealous of the boy next door kissing my girlfriend. 

"What the hell is he thinking? Kissing my girlfriend? It's fucking ridiculous. I'm gonna say something to him."

"Wait, what? No!"

"I have to, Lara Jean. He can't just get away with it.

She stands up and starts packing her bag, and I start packing mine. 

"You'd better not say anything to him, Peter. I mean it."

All of a sudden a stronger wave of jealousy surges over me as a realization dawns on me. 

"Did you kiss him back?" I ask, looking her straight in the eyes. 

"What does it matter." Lara Jean responds. I begin to realize shes just as angry as I am, and everything I feel goes out and now I'm just sad and hurt. 

"Are you mad at me for something?" I ask.

"No. But I will be if you say something to Josh."

"Fine." I say.

"Fine." She says. 

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