Lone Wolf | SIRIUS BLACK

Chapter Forty Seven

|   I N   M Y   H E A D   |

April, 1994

"ANOTHER NIGHTMARE?"

My eyes, hot with unshed tears, shot open to see Sirius propping an elbow against the mattress, cradling the side of his jaw in his palm.  His posture suggested relaxation but his eyes showed concern for my wellbeing, and that made my heart want to burst.

"You know, after the night we had, I was under the impression you'd be out cold.  Wasn't I enough?" 

He was joking with me to alleviate the tension in the room.  It was a valiant effort but no matter his jokes or the soft skimming of his hands over my hips that laid bare beneath the sheets, neither of us could pretend.

Realizing I was in no state to express myself, Sirius raced to help me.  He always raced to save and protect me.  I never would have thought a name associated with a blood supremacist family could be so loyal to someone who wasn't pure, by any means.

Not by blood.

Not by character.

Not by soul.

"What happened this time?"

He was so gentle with me.  So steady and sweet.  In a world full of instability, Sirius Black managed to keep me from tumbling down into an abyss.  He wasn't just a saviour.  He was a guardian angel.

"You.  Peter.  James.  Remus.  Even Lily —"  I choked.

Sirius grabbed me then, losing his pose, and assuming the role of comforting lover.  His arms wound around my waist, splaying over my back to rub in slow circles.  He told me when to breathe, and kept whispering reassuring things to me. 

"What if I hurt you —"

"You won't."  A kiss was dropped on the top of my head, shooting warmth through my scalp and over the back of my neck where it rolled itself in an undulated manner down my spine.  "It was just a nightmare."

Constance hadn't been a nightmare.  Not even as much as I had wished.

"I need you to take my mind off it.  Please.  I — it's so awful.  Ask me something.  Anything."

Frazzled didn't even begin to cover my current feelings.  Maybe if there was a word that combined frazzled, horrified, and hateful all together.

"How attractive do you find me?  We can put it on a scale of 100 to 1000.  Or a million, if you find me that sexy."

Though it was a terrible distraction, the question he asked did the trick.  I felt all of my anxiety seep away, and I slowly stopped convulsing in Sirius's arms.  With all of my shaking gone, I aimed a punch on his arm, then found purchase where I hit.  But the prick didn't even groan.

"You're the worst."

"I think you mean the best, darling."  In his usual Sirius-like antics, he bopped a finger against the tip of my nose.  I glowered at him.

"Alleviating the tension from my nightmares by changing what I'm doing isn't meant to be some ego boost for your 'sexiness', darling."

"It's a little something called a 'bonus'.  You'd think you'd know that, I'm walking proof."

The master of comebacks grinned cheekily.  Merlin I would be annoyed to death by him if I didn't like him on some strangely high level.  Although, I still was being annoyed to death despite liking him.

"If your attractiveness questionnaire hadn't of worked, what would you have done then?"

"Probably would've kissed you senseless."  Sirius's grin transformed into the smirk that got my blood going.  "See, no senses no problems.  Foolproof."

"Actually, that means a lot of problems, so not foolproof, but hey I would still let you.  Even though all of your logic —"

"Can't say anything bad about me; I'm kissing you senseless!"

Sirius did that then.  Having been hovering over me before, he leant down and captured every syllable I was about to speak.  I let him have his moment of glory, a flicker of dominance, before I swapped our places.  Abruptly I had rolled us over so I was on top, my red hair spilling over my shoulder, looking more knotted than it did like a silky waterfall.  Luckily, my lips served as all of the seduction he could've wanted.

"You're so ridiculous."  I laughed, teasingly pecking him on the mouth a few times.  It certainly wasn't enough for Sirius to be satisfied.  He sat up, drawing me close to him by the grip he kept on my hips, and laid four scathingly hot kisses right in the centre of my throat.

"You," first kiss, "mean" second kiss, "ridiculously" third kiss, "brilliant."

The fourth had me gasping harder than ever before.  Though it was super obvious that I was loving this, I decided to mess with him.  "It is nighttime.  Maybe I should be sleeping."

Sirius's only response to that was to kiss me again, with all of the passion thrumming through our veins.  When he pinned me down into the mattress, overtaking control, I didn't fight.

I just felt.

But feeling was brief, as always, and I was launched from memory, from what I wanted life to be, back into reality.

Back into waking up.

~~~

Did I fool anyone into thinking Sirius and Cassie were back together?

I'm really trying to bring myself to what I have to write next. It's super difficult. So I stuck this dream in here as a way to maybe not write the difficult part just yet.

CK