Sinner (MATURE 18+)

37

A/N: Trigger warning: Mentions of sexual abuse. Please proceed with caution.

I had discovered a beautiful garden on the courtside of the palace. I took a seat on the bench beside a fountain and slipped my sandals off my feet, letting my toes brush against the prickly grass. I sighed, taking a deep breath of the fresh air, light wind passing by me. My guards stood a dozen yards away, allowing me to enjoy the peace and silence. I shivered, feeling suddenly cold in my sundress, so I pulled my cardigan closer to my body. Loud voices made me open my eyes. Carsir walked towards me quickly, his guards joining by mine behind him. I watched him take a seat beside me, keeping an appropriate distance between us.

"I need to tell you something too," he started, when I raised my hand to stop him.

"Me first," I interrupted. I had been thinking about how to tell Carsir that his mother may have been murdered. I hated to be the bearer of bad news, but it was a truth that had to be told.

"No, mine is more important, Elena. Listen to me," he continued. I pursed my lips together, nodding. "You deserve nothing but the best. You deserve someone who will give you the world and some more. You deserve perfection. I am not perfection, hell, I may be the furthest thing from it. But, I want to try. I want to give you my everything even if it isn't perfect." I let out a shaky breath, as Carsir held my hands in his.

"I-I love you," he whispered. I was on the verge of tears, struggling to hold back. "I love you more than you could imagine and I'm sorry for walking away."

"I love you too, Carsir," I replied, stroking his hands lovingly. My heart sighed in relief, letting go of the fear of unrequited love. We paused, merely staring at each other. His blue-green eyes were heavily dilated, cheeks flushed, lips pouty. I wanted to reach out and kiss him but held back in case the guards were watching. Carsir's lips moved, making me snap awake.

"Sorry, what did you say?" I asked, confused. He chuckled, smiling so his pearly whites were exposed.

"I said, what did you want to tell me before?" My stomach sank and I gulped.

"It's about your mother," I whispered. He frowned.

"What about her?"

"I asked my lady-in-waiting, Agatha if she knew anything else about Alexandra's affair because she was her lady too. She told me some things...." I squeezed my eyes shut.

"What?" Carsir pressed, his grip on my hands tightening.

"She cheated on Alias because he- violated her," I said. The words were painful to get out because I knew what was going to happen. I knew I had to tell him the truth as horrible as it was.

"Violated?"

"Without consent-"

"He r-raped her?" Carsir demanded. I jerked my hands away, hugging myself but stayed silent. "My father raped my mother? His own wife?" He shook his head. "I don't believe it. I don't believe your maid."

"It's true, Carsir," I echoed quietly, crossing my arms over my chest.

"My father may not be a saint, but he isn't capable of rape. He loved my mother," Carsir reasoned, his brows drawn together.

"Agatha thinks your father found out about the affair and murdered Alexandra," I whispered, looking away from Carsir. I didn't want to meet his eyes and see his reaction.

"That's not possible. It can't be," he argued.

"It is, Carsir! I know it is," I replied, nodding my head.

"How do you know? How do you know your maid isn't just lying?" he demanded. No. The only way to convince was to tell him the unspoken truth. A truth I hid from him and never wanted him to know. I stood up, leaving my back to him, as my breathing grew erratic. I heard Carsir stand up behind me and I felt his breath on my neck. "How do you know, Elena?" His voice softened.

"He did it to me too," I breathed, closing my eyes as tears rolled down my cheeks. I closed myself off from the disgust I knew he felt for me. I waited a whole minute for a response but when I didn't get one, I found the courage to turn around. I was met with the ghost of a figure as my Carsir was gone.

He was gone.

A/N: Double Update!!