Devil in the Details

THIRTEEN: A Whole New World - Pt. 2

Lana wasn't in school the next day.

As I stared at her empty desk, my skin crawled with guilt, like little bugs dancing across my skin. I can't believe I've failed, I thought to myself.

Another voice in my head tried to comfort me. She's the Devil. Maybe this is all for the better. Maybe this is the way this has to be. And yet I couldn't accept that as true. I had seen it myself: Lana was trying to be good. It was a slow process, but it was progress. And if the Devil was capable of change, then why couldn't she also be worthy of love? In the grand scheme of eternity, didn't she deserve just a speck of happiness?

But I had failed. Our deal had burst into flames and crumbled into ash. And now I needed to pick up the pieces.

After my last class, I stopped into a local gas station and bought three pints of ice cream. And then I made my way to the Marriott Hotel.

When I knocked on her hotel room door, there was no answer.

"Lana," I said, knocking again. "It's me, Jessa."

"Go away," came a miserable, muffled grumble.

"Lana," I said, a warning tone in my voice. "Let me in."

Silence.

I groaned. "I have ice cream."

That seemed to do the trick. A few seconds later, I heard the door unlock from the inside.

I pushed my way in and saw that Lana had already retreated back to her bed, lying face down. The white sheets were twisted around her, as if she had been struggling with them, and her face was pressed into a pillow stained with what looked like black ink: mascara.

I set the ice cream on the desk and sat at the edge of her bed. "Hey Lana. How are you doing?"

She didn't say anything in response, just made a low hissing noise into the pillow.

I chewed the inside of my mouth, trying to think of something—anything—I could say that might lessen her pain. "You know, maybe this is a sign. Maybe we've been wrong this whole time and Billy isn't the target after all. Maybe it really is Sam, and you can just, I don't know, help her with this dance, take her soul, and be done with everything?" I didn't actually condone the act of soul taking, but I was so desperate for Lana to smile that I was willing to say almost anything. But she didn't budge from her spot.

I watched her back rise and fall, my heart sinking as I recognized those deep, steadying breaths you take when you're holding back tears. She was a celestial being who had been reduced to a miserable clump, just a ball of tangled hair and wet mascara. "You really like him, don't you?" I whispered.

Slowly, Lana lifted her head, revealing her face. Her eyes were huge and red, and her lip quivered when she finally said, "Yeah, I do."

I crawled over and wrapped my arms around her as she drew in some gasping breaths and pulled herself into a ball. She buried her face in my chest and I tried to smooth down her hair, my fingers catching on the tangles. We stayed like that for a while, my arms wrapped around her thin frame, my own body shaking with her sobs. Eventually, her tears died down and she started mumbling something under her breath.

"What?" I asked, glancing down.

She pulled away from me and wiped under her eyes. "I just don't understand this deal. I don't. This was the deal I was meant to make! I know it was. It felt right! So why isn't it working?" She stabbed her chest with her finger. "I became human for him. Human. That is no small feat! And I'm just supposed to be okay with him... with him liking some other girl?"