Devil in the Details

SEVENTEEN: Goodbye - Pt. 2

The rest of the evening was like a Monet. I can't tell you exactly what happened minute-by-minute, but standing back, thinking about the evening as a whole, it was all sorts of lovely. After dinner, the whole family gathered in the living room and played the game Life. I hadn't played it since I was a kid, and it had never been my favorite, but tonight it felt particularly meaningful.

Mallory had to duck out early when her friends showed up at the front door to go trick-or-treating. I gave her a tight hug before she left—she looked at me strangely as I did so, her beard rubbing off a little on my shirt—and then scurried off into the night with her friends.

Evan, meanwhile, kept sending me inquisitive looks all evening, as if waiting for me to open up and spill my secrets. Sorry Ev, I thought. I can't tell you everything... Plus you wouldn't believe me if I did.

At some point we transitioned to watching a movie. My dad wanted to put on a horror film, but I vetoed that in the light of me about to enter my very own horror movie at midnight, and somehow got everyone to agree on Hocus Pocus. We laughed and joked and I was filled with childhood nostalgia as we watched the film, but I kept getting distracted, kept glancing around the room at my parents cuddling on the couch, on Evan popping fun-sized Twix bars into his mouth, his wrapper pile slowly building. It took a lot for me to not burst into tears at the smallest things, like my mom offering to make some popcorn, or my dad reminding me to grab a coaster for my mug of tea so I didn't leave stains on the end tables.

Then, as 11:30 rounded the corner, James announced that it was time for us to head out. My mother bundled us both in thick jackets meant for arctic survival. Normally I would protest, but I spent every second lingering in her touch, hoping that I didn't truly have to leave, and wondering if I would ever see her again.

I also remembered to put on a pair of worn sneakers. Lana had said there was going to be a lot of walking; I hoped these would do.

Finally, I gave my family a few tight hugs each, hugging Evan last.

"You sure things are okay?" he whispered in my ear.

"Love you Ev," I whispered back, unable to answer him honestly.

Then, hiding my tears, I ran out the door with James. At some point, you have to just rip the bandage off.

I didn't look back.

"Where are we going?" I mumbled into the tall collar of my jacket and rubbing at my eyes as we walked further and further from the life I knew.

James pulled out the ticket to the Underworld and looked at the tiny font. "Gilman Pond."

I crinkled my nose. "Gilman Pond?"

"It's what your ticket says."

Ticket or no ticket, Gilman Pond was a tiny manmade puddle with a small gazebo and way too many ducks. I remembered going there as a child and feeding bread to the ducks with my parents, only to have a swan nibble at my fingers. It hadn't hurt, but when you're three feet tall, swans are scary. I had been scared of swans for many years afterwards.

I didn't know how that small pond could be the entry to the Underworld—unless that swan was some sort of demon gatekeeper—but I kept my mouth shut and trudged forward.

"Gilman Pond..." I murmured, suddenly remembering my conversation with Taylor from earlier in the day. Clarissa and I are gonna walk around Gilman Pond.

I hadn't talked to her all day, not since our fight on the phone. And now I was marching to my death, leaving all of that unresolved.

I pulled out my phone and stared at her number. I wanted to call her to apologize, but I had a sinking suspicion that she wouldn't pick up. And if she did, I knew the conversation would be long, and I just didn't have that sort of time. So instead, I wrote her a message.