Losing Faith

Chapter 5 Part 2

Chapter 5

Part Two

Thanks God today is Friday so, I won’t go to school for 3 days straight. I don’t have to deal with all the bullying from everyone especially Mat. She had thought everything was going to end soon, but instead everything has gotten deeper and deeper. How is she supposed to stay strong? If every time she feels strong enough she ends up collapsing to the floor feeling defenseless and weak. She wanted to cry, but hold all the tears inside. She took out her phone, plugged her ear phones and put on Dear X You Don’t Owe Me by Disciple full blast. Singing along to the part that said:

I let you go

But you’re still chasing

Go ahead

You’re never gonna take me

You can bend

But you’re never gonna break me

I was yours

I’m not yours anymore

Oh, you don’t owe me

Go ahead

Put a target on my forehead

You can fire

But you’ve got no bullet

That’s her favorite part of the song which is most of the song, but she will never ever get tired of it no matter how much she would listen to it. Somehow it makes her feel stronger to keep going on living in this hell of a life. Sometimes she feels she needs to end her life already. She has absolutely no reason to be here. All this past 17 years of her life has been tortured, she haven’t done anything good so that people could appreciate her for it. In fact people don’t even know she exists and the ones who does only bully her emotionally and has now gone physically.

When will she make her parents proud? When are people going to appreciate or just take notice of my achievements? Krystal strolled into her front porch.

“Baby? Why are you back super early?” Her mother asked from the kitchen.

She just walked into the living room trying to think on how to answer her question. It’s just a simple questions Krystal just be honest, she whispered to herself softly. It’s been quite awhile that she has been honest. She’s too used to lying so much that being honest is the toughest thing she can ever do.

“Um, I decided to come back and help you?” she replied after a few moments, walking into the kitchen picking up the dishes left on the dining table.

“That’s very nice of you sweetie. Thank you” she smiled at her brightly

Krystal smiled this time a real smile; just seeing her mother smile like that just made her look beautiful. Krystal rapidly thought about last night, did her mother forget what happened last night? Why would she smile that bright? As soon as those thoughts came in Krystal’s mood automatically sadden.

“Welcome mommy.” She replied while grabbing hold of an empty plate. Her mother didn’t reply for some reason her mother’s smile had faded way, where once she had a beautiful bright expression on her face had now turned into a sad worried expressed all over her entire face. Krystal stared at her for awhile with the corner of her eyes to figure out what was bothering her, but she couldn’t, As much as she tried to nothing expressed her face other than worried.

“Mom are you feeling alright? The words had left her lips. Krystal why did you ask that? Are you out of your mind? You should have kept your mouth shut, Krystal thought to herself turning away from her mother and started to run the hot water.