Chapter Thirty-Eight

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"I think I'm going to vomit," I admit in a shaky whisper and clutch the paper in my hands tighter. I watch my knuckles turn cloudy white and sink my teeth in my swollen lip. I wouldn't be surprised if I ripped through the sensitive skin and drew blood. I try to take a few calm breaths, but I end up hyperventilating.

Anxiety flows through my veins and intensifies my heartrate. I slowly rub my chalky hands together and focus on my shallow breathing. I look around the dim-lit room, searching for a particular mop of curly hair. Where is Blue? He said he'd be here. He doesn't care if he gets a solo or not, though he easily could if he applied himself more, but promised to be here for me, whether I get one or not. I could really use his presence right now.

On stage of the auditorium are three heads of the programs: Music, Dance, and Theatre. Each of them are intimidating in their own way and I start to freak out more until my gaze lands on Ms. Rhodes. She's fixing her scarlet scarf over her shoulders as she talks in the ear of the head of the music department; a short man with a gray beard and a permanent frown etched on his mouth. He's wearing black like all the other heads. My eyes fall on the stack of white papers in hands and the others'. This might seem like any other showcase every other artistic school in the east coast hosts during the holidays, but two out of every solo performer usually are sought out after by major companies and agents. Getting the chance to have a solo at the Snowflake Showcase is practically handing over a ticket to the life of my dreams.

"You shouldn't be this nervous. We all know you're going to get the solo part," Riley says beside me. Her voice barely carries over the many voices in the crowd. Everyone around us is clouded in the same dread of anticipation as me, but none of them can feel their heartbeat in their palms. How Riley is totally calm and kicking back while everyone else is tense and whispering hurriedly to the person beside them is beyond me.

"How are you so confident I'll get it?" I ask.

"Because you are thee most dedicated dancer I know." She turns to me, her eyes wide with amazement. "You get up at the crack of dawn and race around the freaking city for hours. You practice kicking at me whenever I walk in the room and you're practicing—"

"It's not my fault you don't read the warning note I put outside the door when I dance." I laugh.

She rolls her eyes and nudges my shoulder. "Bottom line, you're dedicated as hell. No one deserves this more than you."

I blush at her sweet words. "That's so sweet of you... I hope you get a solo, too. I can watch you and cheer you on from the crowd before my class goes on. But silently. I wouldn't want to mess you up."

"Aw, babe." She reaches out and pinches my cheek. "After you get your solo, we'll celebrate at the artistic type café I told you about a few days ago. I'm not sure if Finn will come, though. He insists to look after her even though she doesn't want him to. He's just being an annoyingly great brother," Riley says with a playful eyeroll.

"He's amazing, but he has to give her a break. He's been staying with her for days now. Maybe he'll come if—"

A booming noise coming from the stage cuts me off. Everyone's voices melt into a crippling silence. I turn to the sound of the gentle voice of the woman speaking into a microphone. "Hello and welcome to the reveal of the solo artists of the Snowflake Showcase twenty-eighteen." She pauses and smiles as we clap for a few moments before continuing. "Before we begin, I wanted to express how blown away I am by each and every one of you. Even if you weren't one of those chosen to represent our school's ability to nurture and further your God-given abilities, you all possess the talent to take on the world and more. Good luck!" We clap even louder than the first time and watch her hand off the microphone to a man who waves at us.

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