mirrors • • Han Jisung • • Felix

2

It was 3 o'clock. If he includes this morning taking out his hour sleep. He's had 12 hours of practice today. 14 if you consider before the group left at 1:00 am.
He ended up collapsing on the floor. He needed water. His stomach growled.
"Maybe I should eat something" he questioned.
But his reflection denied the request. "No, I'll get fat. Think of me! how selfish are you!?" It screeched in defiance.
He winced.
"Your right I'm sorry, I feel sick anyway."
He drank the water as if it were his life source. He decided it's time to go home. The others might be wondering where he was. He walked home and stumbled through the door. His legs shaking a little bit. He filled up his water bottle at the sink, looking at the small pool of water smirking back at him. As if he knew something was to happen.
"Ah! Jisung? When did you leave?" Woojin asked confused. Jisung felt his insides twist.
"They don't care" it whispered.
He looked at the reflection in the sink.
It stared him down. "Um.." he started to speak shifting his gaze back to Woojin.

Everything was grey.

He couldn't tell what colour his friend..or Well, team members jumper was. He was gonna guess purple. "I've been in the practice room sicne you guys left?" He was confused.
How was that even possible for someone to forget that much by accident. Did they do it purposely? Are they really that-
"ah I thought you came with us to get pizza" Woojin spoke with a giggle as he left Jisung on his own in the kitchen.
Jisung felt the pain shoot through his heart. The 50th time this week. Suddenly all of the colours turned darker. He blinked. It was slightly hard to see. He went to the bathroom. And locked the door behind him. His reflection crystal clear contrast to the major dim of colour and vision against everything around him.
"So, having a bit of trouble there buddy" his reflection snickered. He shivered. He was a coward. Can't even speak up to himself. His shadow came up next to him making him yelp in surprise.
"YAH! Jisung shut up! You're so loud" was thrown from someone.
He blinked, dumbfound.
"Sorry" he spoke up.
He was a pest. Maybe he shouldn't speak and he would bother anybody. "No speaking huh?" His reflection smiled widely.
But not nicely.
"Sounds like a challenge" his shadow finished off.
"Hmm, I like you Han shadow, I'm Han mir, pleases to meet you" and jisung was baffled.
He was crazy. It was offical. He couldn't tell anyone. His reflection and shadows kept talking and he looked into the cupboard to see... something to help? He didn't know. When he saw some shaving cream he felt a hand on his shoulder. He jumped but didn't speak. 'Thank god' he thought. His shadows hand. It was like a. Real one. It's pitch black replica of himself formed. It lead his hand into the cupboard. At this point he could just barley see his own hand. His reflection even got a little blurry. But his hands were moving. Must be mr shadows? What was it. 'Han shadow'?
He only came back to earth when his arm felt weird. A little itchy? Something was dripping? Suddenly something sliced against his skin. And if it wasn't form the sudden blinding of full vision and some colour he would've screamed. He kept his hand over his mouth. His full colour progressively got better. The more he cut. Well, his shadow. But it only got to a winter shade of wet and jazzy colours. But everything was clear again. But his shadow and reflection were back to normal. As he felt the vibration in the bathroom of the banging on the door he quickly fiddled with the stiff. Quickly washing up. Hiding the razor blades that must've been used for his arms, taken some toilet paper and quickly yanked a few bandages. Hiding it in his jumper the door was swung open and he ran by a confused seungmin. He ran to his room which had no one in it. Being that all 3 others were playing xbox. He quickly dabbed at the quickly bleeding cuts. They were quite deep. He felt slightly proud at this achievement. Something he could do well he with the help of his reflection and shadow. Success in getting his vision back. He still had hoped that when he woke up it would be gone. What gone? His shadow? Reflection? Cuts?  maybe the way he was viewed by his members...

He searched it up a few days later. It didn't disappear. Every time any of the guys said something, everything turned grey. He quite enjoyed the grey now. It was a calm and relaxing. It felt like it explained him. Boring and quite. He had barely spoke a word since he had that 'conversation' with Han shadow and Han mir. He was getting skinnier. He saw. He was proud. He was making his shadow and reflection happy. And obviously it wasn't enough yet to impress his members. Maybe if h was better looking he would get them to like him. His eye bags started getting more noticeable and his rips were staring to poke out every time he breathed in. He felt more tired lately. He had trouble keeping up with the dance. Especially after the world went grey. "Jesus Jisung! What are you doing!?" Chan yelled angrily.
"Hyung, let him be he's been here since 2-"
"WHAT! Are you trying to cover for him now Felix?!" Chan said as he tossed a glare to the other Aussie. Who hugged.
"I'm sick of your screaming" Jisung was happy.
His world was only a brighter, still dull coloured. But better than completely black. Chan yelled at him yeh. It made everything pitch black but suddenly a small light peaked out and Felix landed from heaven. He didn't notice anything around him. He was too happy.
"Jisung you will stay after and practice!" Chan said annoyed.
"I always do" he mumbled back.
He could feel chan get angry but he didn't notice. Because suddenly the world started to go grey.

-sorry if there are any mistakes yeee-