my love as deep as the ocean - chaelisa

6. hurting - chae

a/n: enjoy and leave some comments!!

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It's been a month since my world came crashing down.

I broke up with Jungkook because he's in love with someone. Not me. Yoongi. I see the way they look at each other. I've seen how happy Jungkook gets when they text each other. At the party we went to his room and had sex - I won't lie - but he didn't feel anything. He had sex with me to get off, not to make love. I can tell the difference. I broke up with him pretty much immediately.

That wasn't the only reason I broke up with him. When I saw Lisa with Seulgi the jealousy and anger in my body grew. I saw the way they interacted and I knew I wanted Lisa to talk with me like that. Then she kissed Yoongi and I couldn't watch. Even though I know she's gay, seeing her kiss anyone makes me sad. Then she rejected me. I wanted to kiss her so bad, but she said no. I could've crumbled right there and then. But what really got me was when she kissed Seulgi. She enjoyed it. I had to leave and I brought Jungkook with me.

My original plan was to just break up with him and go to confess my love for Lisa because after watching all of that all I knew is that I wanted to be with her. To be her girlfriend and to love her forever and ever. But alas, Jungkook was drunk and horny, and I was dumb enough to believe he wanted to have sex because he loved me. I didn't feel an ounce of love.

So after that I left and went to find Lisa to tell her everything. What I saw was what really broke my heart. No, the most heart-breaking thing of the night wasn't the fact that Jungkook had fallen in love with someone else, it was seeing Lisa in that room. With Seulgi on top of her. They were about to have sex. Lisa was about to lose her virginity.

I ran downstairs, pushing past everyone, Jisoo and Jennie stopping me to see if I was okay. I told them I ordered pizza and it was outside. There was no pizza. I just cried. And cried. And when Lisa came I cried some more. And I nearly told her I loved her, but I was so heartbroken that I couldn't say it was her. That she was the one that broke my heart.

I didn't go back to school on Monday. I managed to convince my parents that I was sick. They let me have Tuesday off as well. Lisa visited me both days. We had spent more time together than ever. It was heartbreaking to see her, but also I needed her more than anything. She was my support system. She hasn't questioned me about that night either, she just held me when I cried and brought me ice cream.

When I got back to school Lisa was right outside the gates waiting for me. She made sure I was okay all day, and everyday since then she's done the same. She knows I need her, and that's what I love about her.

Luckily I haven't seen Jungkook since I got back, mainly because Lisa walks with me wherever I go and checks wherever we go to see if he's there. It's not necessary because I'm a big girl and I'd be fine but it's so sweet.

Jennie and Jisoo have also been amazing, although it is awkward whenever it's all four of us. Lisa doesn't seem to want to talk to them so I have to make all of the conversation. They also seem to be more awkward around me, as if I'm some fragile piece of china. I'm not. I'm fine.

Right now I'm at my locker sorting through my books. I haven't realised this until now but I haven't taken down my pictures of me and Jungkook from the locker door. I do miss him. He was more than just a boyfriend. We were good friends before we got together. I told him a lot of things. I really did love him. But you can't be in love with two people at once. As we both know. I take the pictures down and put them in the back of the locker.

This is normally when Lisa would show up out of the blue and escort me to the next lesson. But instead I see her in the distance talking to Seulgi.