Lost and Confused

The Set Back

Time...it is a curse of life. We have time to do many things. We spend our time doing things we want to accomplish in a day, or on something we planned to do from days ago. Planning...planning is another curse we have. Nothing ever goes according to plan or how we want.

Nothing this year has gone to plan for me. From my personal life to getting back on my feet from a broken relationship. Time, planning, and being too nice of a guy have lead to my own downfall. But time....waiting for the right moment...the right time to say it....the missed opportunity.

I waited too long....doing what I thought was the right thing, because I was told to wait by someone else, and I listened. I knew better, my heart knew better, why didn't I listen to it sooner? Why do I always over think things? Why do I wait till it's too late? Why am I so unsure of myself....why? At the end of the day, it comes down to self esteem. I was fine before this year. I knew what I wanted and how to do things. I feel like I need guidance now...or do I?

I think I need to start listening to my heart again. I need to listen to what my heart and instincts say. I could have gotten what I wanted, if only I had listened to my heart and believed in myself. I was scared, I was a lion in its cage, but today, I set myself free. I've lost time to try and gain what my heart wants. With error there's resolution, a problem to be fixed. The problem is, I need to stop waiting. I need to strike when the time is right, and if I miss it, I don't lose track of my target. I'll keep trying and trying and trying, through days and nights until I get you. I won't stop until I am utterly exhausted and until I achieve my goals. Sometimes you need to regroup in the shadows, scout your targets...and STRIKE....when you lease expect it.

I listen carefully, I care in the plans I make and tactics I choose to execute. If I need to help someone else or if I need help, I will go to them or get it for me. I am who I am, and I may mess up, but I will not give up easily. I only give up when there is no other way out...and I mean NO other way out, in any situation.

Time and failed plans have taught me lessons. But as I think about it, have my plans really failed?

No.

They just get better with each set back. They get adjusted and tweaked, and eventually, they will execute perfectly. Time is an essence, I don't want to waste my time...because this is how I feel right now. Many great things can happen if I keep trying. Today was a set back, but tomorrow is a new day for improvements and possibilities.

My heart says to use this time to strike again, and I intend to....
For a happy outcome...