Chubby ✔️

Fear

⚠️warning!⚠️ this chapter might be a little triggering so...just beware.
And stay safe. Enjoy.

I cough and notice a few drops of blood spill to the floor as I limp my way home, from hell.
The sun shines down brightly and I squint my eyes, trying my best to see.
I feel like I'm going to collapse but that's not an option and I try and keep moving.

One step after the other.
Come on, you can do this.
I know you can. You have to.

I hiss and wince as I keep a little more than bearable weight on my twisted left ankle. I close my eyes and keep walking once more.

Almost there.

I walk in and without stopping or looking around, I make a beeline straight for my room.
I slam the door close and immediately open the door to the bathroom, leaving it open I heave into the toilet. A few drops of blood fall and looking at it makes me nauseous and in result, more bile forms in my throat.
I found some pills in my locker and the blondie girl told me they will help me lose weight faster. So I took them and I've been throwing up since third period.

I hear my bedroom door open slowly and quietly, as if the person entering is afraid of me.
It's probably Casper.
I panic, thinking I don't want him to see this and try to say something but nothing comes out except a faint, "I'm fine."
Lies.

I don't hear any movements and slump back onto the tiled walls, relieves that Casper left.
I look at the ceiling as the first few years start to escape, having been trapped for hours and excited to have finally gotten the chance to let out.
I get up, on shaky legs and rinse my mouth and brush my teeth.
I turn the bathroom light off and walk out as I rub my aching throat. The first thing I notice are black vans which are not mine.
They look exactly like mine, but the difference is obvious to the eye due to the size being larger than any female foot; indicating its a male's.
My eyes widen and I carefully, slowly and hesitantly trail my eyes above the shoes, the legs, the plain black t shirt.
The eyes are what concern me.
One emotion is crystal clear in them:

Fear.

He looks at me in fear, concern and I frown.

His eyes turn glassy and he steps a little toward me, gauging my reaction. I don't move and that encourages him to step closer until he's in reach.
He puts his arms out and grips my arms so lightly, I barely feel it.
A look of anguish is spread across his handsome face and I want to wipe it away.
I want to compliment him on how good he looks with a slight stubble and that his unruly hair is grown longer and I love the way it looks. But all I can say is,

"You're here."

Something snaps inside of him and he tugs me into his warm chest.
I feel complete. Finally, a key found to match the lock of emptiness that seemed to surround me off the past month.
I lift my shaking arms around his torso and hug him back, needing to let him know that I was wrong. Trying to convey that I missed him and that I never meant a word I said.

We pull apart and he looks at me in sorrow with a guilty look on his face, "what have I done?" He whispers in a disturbed and broken whisper.

I'm confused. Does he not like how I look? Ever since I've stopped eating big meals, I've lost weight and the bullying has almost stopped. Does he not like how I look?

"What?" I ask him and my eyes widen when a tear falls from his eyes and he crushes me against his chest, holding me tightly.

He says nothing, but keeps whispering in my ear, "I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry."

•••

After Theodore apologized a lot of time for what I have no idea, he went out of the room and I haven't seen him since.

I walk down the stairs and hear hushed voices silently arguing,

"What happened to her Natalie?"

"Honestly, I don't know what to tell you. She's been closed off since the past month and she won't tell me what's bothering her. I've tried getting it out of her but she won't speak to me."

"Natalie, she's not the Willow I left a month ago. I don't even recognize her anymore! Have you seen the way her eyes don't sparkle anymore? They're dead."

I open the kitchen door and walk in, the two voices stopping their argument and eyes stare at me as I walk to the fridge and grab a bottle of water. I keep my head down, and try not to limp as I try my best to get out and go back to my room. Just as my hand is on the door to push it open, a voice stops me,

"Do you want something to eat?" Natalie asks me hopefully and goes around the kitchen counter, opening the oven and taking out a tray of fresh, warm chocolate chip cookies. I eye the cookies hungrily. Even as a little girl, cookies were my weakness. I just could not refuse a chocolate chip cookie and Natalie used to bake them for me whenever I had a bad day at school which was very often. Maybe, that's the reason I was fat.

I really want one. They look so warm and inviting as they sit on the metal tray, set out to cool.

"I made fresh chocolate chip cookies," Natalie smiles hopefully at me. When I don't react and just look at her, then back at the water bottle in my hands, debating if I can have one, she tries again, "I know they're your favorite."

I shake my head a little and hide away any emotion from my face. As I do this, I notice Natalie's eyes shine with concern and her smile fall a little short, "Willow?" she asks me quietly and I close my eyes, trying not to break.

I will not eat the cookie and I will not cry in front of them.

"I don't like chocolate chip cookies anymore," I say and smile forcefully. "Thank you, though." That being said, I turn around instead of waiting for their response and walk out of the kitchen heading directly for the stairs.

As I'm on the top step, I hear a quiet mumble, "Theodore, what're we going to do?"

A sigh follows Natalie's question and then a voice speaks, determination oozing from it, "I'm here now. But you have to promise you'll let me do whatever I have to."

I shake my head and go in my room, falling onto the bed as I slam the door shut. Tears soak my pillow as I lay on my side and I let them, not bothering to wipe them away. It's no use. There'll be new to replace the old ones.

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So? Theodore's back, huh?

Thanks for reading,

Teddy🐾