Chubby ✔️

Bestie

"You sure you'll be okay? You can come with us. It's not a problem at all." Natalie assures me and Joe nods his head as he smiles at me.

They were going to a dinner party that was hosted by Joe's colleagues and Casper was having a sleepover at a friend's for the night. Which meant I was alone at home.

I smile and shake my head, "You guys worry too much. I'll be fine at home."

Natalie nods her head but still looks at me in worry, "Okay. But you have our numbers if anything happens and don't hesitate to call if anything happens."
Joe nods his head and opens his mouth to speak but Natalie interrupts him and he explodes,
"Let me speak woman!" And she glares at him but stays quiet. He continues, "As I was saying, Willow. You are not going to be alone tonight because your bestie is coming over."

I raise my eyebrows at him and ask cautiously, "my bestie?"

He smiles and nods his head and Natalie looks at him in disbelief. "I cannot believe my husband just said bestie. Who are you hanging out with these days?"

"Our son," Joe raises an eyebrow at Natalie and she frowns in confusion so he explains further. "He keeps going on and on about some girl who tells him they're besties. Casper doesn't like the word besties. So he explains why he doesn't like the word besties; repeating the word besties many times, it's impossible to forget it."

I can't help but letting out a laugh at the innocence of my nephew and how adorable he seems to be getting by the day.

After much convincing, I finally manage to get the worried couple out the door.
I am now currently watching Nanny McPhee and get excited when the baby freezes midair but I pause the movie when the bell rings and I go to  get it. I open the door and raise my brows when I see Theodore standing there, smiling like an oaf and holding up a bag of Chinese food.

What's with him and food? Every time he comes over he brings food and begs me to eat it with him. I don't he realizes that I have to lose weight? I need to lose weight and him feeding me like crazy won't help.

I let him in and walk over to the living room, resuming my movie. He walks in the living room and sits down next to me, staring at the screen but twiddling his thumbs as thinking about something. After a few minutes, he turns his head and looks at me,

"Did I do something wrong?"

I look back at him and shake my head firmly, focusing back on the movie when he speaks up again, "So let's eat, then. I'm starving and I'm sure you are too. It's 8:30."

I look at the clock and sure enough, it is 8:30. My stomach turns a little in hunger but I've decided on not eating dinner tonight. It'll do me good.

I shake my head and reply while my eyes are still glued to the screen, "I'm not hungry. Just had some salad a couple hours ago."

I see him nod his head from the corner of my eyes and he gets up, probably to go get himself some food.
He returns some time later with a plate piled up with food.

It smells so good. Ugh.

He takes a seat next to me, closer than before and continues eating while I try best not to glance at the food because I know I won't be able to refuse.
All attention from the movie fades due to the heavenly aroma of food in the room and I find myself wondering if I could maybe make an excuse for tonight and then stay hungry tomorrow.
As I'm about to speak and admit that I'm hungry, a little voice in my head tells me how much I need to lose weight and how badly he must think I'm hungry all the time which is why he brings food every time.

During my internal struggle I didn't notice Theodore shift a little and put down his plate on the coffee table in front of us, turning toward me and taking ahold of my hands, rubbing soothing circle with his thumb on the back of it.
I look at him and he smiles sadly at me, "What's wrong?"

I shake my head and shrug my shoulders, blinking away the tears as I look away.
I wish it wasn't so hard. I wish I could eat and breathe like any normal teenage girl but i can't because my head is filled with voices all the time and I don't know what to do, to make them go away.
I feel a warm hand cup the side of my face and turn my face toward him. He doesn't remove his hand, stroking my cheek ever so slowly and I inhale a shaky breath when I realize:

The voices stop when I'm with Theodore. He makes them go away.
He makes me feel so safe, it's starting to scare me.

"Talk to me." he urges softly moves slightly closer, our knees brushing together. I looked up at him from under my soaked lashes and heard him intake a quivering breath. His eyes widen just a fraction and he carefully cups my face as he wipes my tears away.
"What's wrong?" He whispers brokenly, as if seeing me like this hurt him physically.

As a sob escapes, he throws his arms around me and holds me tightly. My shoulders shake and he rocks us back and forth at a very soothing pace and I sniffle as I try to control my tears.
"I can't," I choke out loud and his arms wrap themselves even tighter around me and I clutch his shirt in my hands as I cling onto him. "I can't control it anymore. It hurts. It really hurts."

He kisses the top of my head and rests his cheek on it as he whispers back in a deep hoarse whisper, "Then don't. Let go. I'm right here. Let it all go."

When I don't say anything and keep on soaking his dark blue t-shirt with my tears, he rubs my back which helps relieve the tension a little. It's like he knows just what to do. Like he knows what will make me feel better instantly. It's truly remarkable but it also frightens me.

"It's like," I begin but a hiccup and he kisses my head once more as if to encourage me. "It's like you fix me a little bit but then they break me even more."

He moves my head to his left shoulder so he can glance down at me. This reminds me of when he first caught me when I almost collapsed.
"I'm not going to let anyone break you anymore. Just trust me okay?"

I drowsily nod my head and he sighs and kisses my forehead, "Go to sleep, I'll be right here when you wake up."

I move back to get up and go to bed but his arms tighten even further around my body and he chuckles, "I meant go to sleep right in my arms, baby."
I don't even try to deny my happiness and snuggle my face in the crook of his neck and close my eyes, breathing in his scent and willingly drowning in his presence as I let the haze cover my eyes and finally succumb to the temptation of a dreamless sleep.

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