Retaliation (2) ✔

E P I S O D E - 3

"Episode 3 - We are not who we are."

I don't know how long we sat there for. On the side of the empty road, me crying my eyes out in his arms. Flashes of Jude's attack assailed me while I cried. It was like I was on a memory lane train, passing through a tunnel with my horrible past on displayed across the walls. I wanted to get out but I couldn't. The train wouldn't stop.

A black and white image popped out first. He was on top of me and I could feel him inside me while I was screaming and crying, calling out for my mom. The ceiling looked half caved in, I could see the evening sky and exposed beams until his face into view. The scenery didn't look real but I still felt like vomiting. Then, suddenly I was in Chicago, looking at myself in the mirror. The girl that stared at me was grown now, not the little girl who cried out for her mother.

"Papa, why didn't you save me?"

The girl in the mirror stood in an expensive marble room with bright golden light. She knew she was safe. It was me. I knew I was safe. But the little girl screamed. I screamed. With hands pressing down on the sides of my head, I screamed. The images kept floating back to me.

Somewhere down the train I forgot where I was. My past and present merged. I thought I was in the past. Where I wasn't safe anymore. I had to run. Make it stop.

"MAKE IT STOP." I sobbed, not being able to breathe.

The train rattled, my body shook or someone shook me. I didn't know what was happening. I was back on the train. Back in front of the mirror. The girl in the mirror couldn't take it anymore. She knew - I knew- that Jude was long gone. For his own fucking safety. He ran for Cuba or one of the Islands where he couldn't be extradited. But I was still trapped. The nightmares didn't end.

Breathing hurt.

Existing hurt.

The only way to stop it was if I stopped thinking. There it was. The solution. My hands opened the cabinet. I took out bottle of sleeping pills. Pills I needed to survive, make sure the monster stayed away from my nightmares. Mason Capone's mother had given them to me. That's it. That's all I needed.

The girl in the mirror tipped the bottle over her mouth. swallowed down the pills. She looked at me. Dark eyes, just like mine but younger. She was hurt. She was in pain. I was in pain. I couldn't do anything to save her.

I couldn't do anything to save myself. Daniella was dead. She tried to escape with me, trying to save me but they killed her. Dex killed her. I had no one to live for any more. I had no one who cared for me. I wasn't worth it. Death seemed kinder than what was happening with me.

I started feeling drowsy. My memory started to become sluggish and my eyes met the eyes of the girl in the mirror. I was staring at myself. The pain reflecting back at me

She was trapped.

I was trapped. Somewhere inside my own head. I was trapped and I couldn't get out. Oh, so softly, she whispered.

"Papa, why didn't you save me?" That was it. She fell on the floor and suddenly the glass shatter into pieces.

Then, everything around me, died. Like I did. I never felt such peace in my life before. It was cold, quiet and quaint. I loved every moment of it. I knew, for just even a minute that I was safe and nobody could harm me anymore.

I was safe.

I saved me.

Because, no one else ever did.

Soft mummer of a familiar voice seeped through the thick fog darkness, prying my eyes open slightly. For a split second, I panicked. I thought I was back in captivity with Jude somewhere lurking in the shadows but the smell of wood settled me. Groaning, I turned in the warmth of my bed, stuffing the blanket under my chin. I could feel the light from the TV trying to pry my eyes open but my lids were too heavy to do so.