Screams. (sequel to Silence.

chapter five

a/n- v small trigger warning just in case

-M-

"Michael hurry uppppppp." Ashton whined from outside the door.

"Just go make out with your boyfriend, Jesus." I muttered as I messed with my hair. What's the use, it's going to look terrible anyways.

I opened the door to a pouty Ashton. I ignored him, sliding past him to find Luke. It's funny how people always assume Luke and Calum have a "bromance". In reality Luke and I are way closer.

"What's on your mind?" Luke asked as I sat down. He's gotten pretty good at sensing when I'm in one of my moods.

"I miss her so much." I kept my eyes on the ground.

"I'm sure she'll come to the show, Mike." He assured.

"She probably won't even associate with me. She hates me." I put my face in my hands.

"She does not, she's just distancing herself. Trust me she'll be back."

I stayed quieting, trying to silence my thoughts. I miss being numb. I miss the silence. All this screaming overwhelms me even more.

"I- I can't do this." I talked quickly, taking my face out of my hands.

"Do what?" Luke asked, confused.

"This, everything. All of it. I don't belong out here. I can't make it in the real world."

"Ain't it fun? Living in the real world." Luke smirked at his "cleverness" . I rolled my eyes at the idiotic blonde bloke.

"I'm serious, Luke."

"C'mon, just give it a little longer. You'll be fine."

"No. It won't be fine. I'm stuck in this rut again. I can't get out. It's like im six foot deep in a hole with no ladder."

"You just need someone with a rope to pull you out." He replied.

"Like who?"

He shrugged. "The fam. They'll always be here for you, Mike. Always. They're never mad at you. "

"The fam can't know about my problems." I replied quickly.

"And why's that?" Luke asked, generally confused (as usual).

"Because, it'll get around everywhere and I just have a feeling it wouldn't be good."

"Whatever. Just get ready. We have like ten minutes before we go on stage." He said before patting me on the shoulder and heading back to the bathroom.

Shows are probably my second favourite thing about touring. The first is meeting the fam. Luke is right, they're always here. They're all really sweet and all the girls are stunning really, it makes me almost feel guilty knowing I'm literally some of their worlds and they feel as if they're in love with me.

I guess it makes me guilty because unlike the other three ive been there. Somewhat. When J first came I was infatuated with her from day one, as much as I didn't want to admit it to myself. She was, and is, the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. I thought she was too good for me, way out of my league. She saw me as just a patient, just like we see the fans as well, fans (or family as Ash says).

I just somehow got lucky and got a shot with her. And I blew it.

"C'mon mikey wikey, it's show time." Cooed Calum and I glared at him. He just laughed, walking and picking up his bass before catching up with the other two.

I trailed behind slightly as usual, excited but nervous for stage. I can barely handle these large arenas, how am I suppose to perform in a fucking stadium?

My nerves kicked in more as we made our way to the stage, the screams ringing in my ears. I'd take back the silence of room 174 back and hold Daniel to my chest in that small bed any day. Don't get me wrong, I love the fam, it just gets to be... Too much.

The show was great, as usual. The fans were incredible and we all had a lot of fun. It's what happened off stage that isn't always so great. The arguments that we talked about on that interview usually occur after shows.

"Mike you always have such cool bracelets," Ashton said as I put up my guitar, still fiddling with his drumsticks.

"Thanks, Ash." I muttered, trying to walk away before anything bad happened.

"Can I see one?" He asked. I stuck my arm in his face and he rolled his eyes, a small giggle escaping his lips.

"Let me rephrase," he said, "may I take one?"

"No! They're mine!" I said loudly. I didn't realize how childish I sounded until afterwards.

"For crying out loud Michael you can get another one!" He said grabbing at one with his hand and attempting to pull it off.

That's when he saw them. His eyes widened at the still bright red and scabbed cuts. I jerked away quickly, looking down at the ground.

He opened his mouth to say something but quickly shut it. He looked like he was about to cry.

"M-Michael..."

"Don't. Don't say anything. Just drop it, please." I pleaded.

"Michael-"

"Please go away Ash."

"Damnit Michael, listen to me!" He rose his voice slightly, making me jump. Ashton isn't one to get mad, and he hardly ever cusses.

"Sit down with me." He demanded, gesturing to the couch.

I did so and he sat down beside me, taking a deep breath before speaking.

"You know before the band I didn't exactly have the best life either... I-I was really insecure, I still have some insecurities. I used to get bullied quite a bit... I was taken advantage of by a few girls.. I've been through a fair share of heartbreaks." He spoke slowly, his breathing uneven and his eyes watering.

"I-I guess what I'm t-trying to say is... You aren't the only one." That's when he pulled down the couple bracelets he was wearing on his left wrist, revealing old but perfect visible scars.

"I-I stopped about seven months ago, the fans already have heard the rumours. They've helped a lot, dming me and things.." He said quietly, and smiling slightly.

"Our fans really are the best aren't they, Mike?"

"They sure are, Ash. They sure are."

A/N- this chapter was sad and kinda sucked but I may double update who knows, I'm depressed & have nothing better to do

7 votes nd 7 comments and ill update (I may update anyways who knows)