Epiphany - Namjoon au

-2-

August 17 : Friday

My hands were shaking. They were also extremely sweaty and every few seconds I would wipe my palms on my jeans. This was the last time I'd see my room for 6 months, the last time I'd see my mom and dad for 6 months, and the last time I'd breathe American air for 6 whole freaking months. I can't deny the excitement creeping through my body.

Ever since I started high school I was desperate to leave Seattle. I was tired of taking pictures of the same city, after a while all the pictures had the same feeling to it. I needed a new muse and South Korea would be that for me. I promised myself when I started Korean language classes that I wouldn't give up. I wouldn't give in to my dads persistent complaining. I would go to school where I wanted to go and I would live the life I wanted to live regardless of my father's fears.

I was sitting in my small attic room putting the last important items into my suitcases. Which were my computer and my favorite camera. I wished I had a bag big enough to bring lighting equipment, but I'd have to use only the sun while in Korea. I zipped up my suitcases and stood them up next to the door. This was it, I was really doing this. I wanted to cry but no tears would come to my eyes. I wanted to scream but I didn't want anyone running up the steep attic stairs to make sure I wasn't dying. So I just layed back on my bed, my arms and legs squirming around as I threw my body around on my bed. I stopped once my hair was covering my face and I was out of breath.

"Mami let's go! We have to get to the airport early to check your bags!" My mom yelled in spanish up the steps. I stood up carrying my suitcases and carry on. It was a struggle to carry 2 heavy suitcases down steep steps and my dad wasn't anywhere to help me.

"Stand next to your mom so I can take a picture." My father said pushing me and my mom shoulder to shoulder. I groaned I was in sweats and had no makeup on. I'm sure I looked tired from getting exactly 1 hour of sleep last night.

"Dad~" I whined my mom pinched my side and posed for the camera. I simply just gave a half hearted smile as my father's phone clicked a picture. "Let's go Nanni."

I turned to my mom and she had a smile spread across her pretty face. She couldn't come with us to the airport because she had work starting today. She hugged me tight and I could feel the tears starting to prick at my eyes. I knew my mom wasn't crying she was a tough one. She never showed her emotions to us unless it was happiness and excitement, or anger. But she thought it was wrong to have her children worry about her feelings, it's her job to worry about us.

"You go there and you learn everything you can. You be safe and don't wander around at night. Make some friends niña. I am so proud of you." She said in spanish, and that was her tell. If she spoke to you lovingly in spanish that meant she was getting emotional. Her first language is spanish, and all though she speaks perfect english and her accent is very faint, hearing her tell me she was proud in spanish was enough to make the tears in my eyes fall down my cheeks. She kissed them away before I hugged her again.

"I love you mom." I responded in spanish because I wanted to make sure she understood how much it meant to me for her to let her baby daughter leave the country.

She patted my cheek before releasing me to walk outside to my father's car. He had already put my suitcases in the trunk and was waiting for me in the driver's seat. I took a deep breath in as I placed my hand on the car door. Looking around I admired the tall green trees and the mountains in the distance quickly before sitting down in the passenger seat placing my bag at my feet.

"I'm proud of you Nanni." My dad said as he pulled out of the drive way and headed into city. "I know your aunt likes to say I smother you and Maria, but it's only because you two are my baby girls. No matter what you will always be my baby girls." I was crying again when I heard him tell me he was proud. I wonder if he said this to Maria when he drove her to college.