Epiphany - Namjoon au

-11-

September 10 : Monday

Namjoon sat in the back of the classroom with Seojun. We are all pretty sure those two are getting back together. I feel awful watching those two sit and talk. His face isn't noticeable bruised anymore and his cuts are scabbed over and almost healed, but she put those scars there. I can't help but feel angry knowing she hit him, who knows if that she-devil will do it again. Once the bell rings I rush to my second period history class, not wanting to see anyone or hear anything.

I have felt homesick since this weekend. Once Jungkook left I called my mom and cried into the phone for hours. She kept trying to tell me things would work out but she was only saying that to try to make my tears stop. She doesn't really know the boys and their personalities, I don't really know them. I know a lot more than I did before but you can't know everything about someone in 3 weeks. I felt like I was just scraping the surface of them. 3 weeks and I've broken up a 3 year relationship and an even longer friendship.

I didn't want to be in Korea anymore. I didn't want to be a photographer anymore. I was just fine with going to an American university and getting a degree I'll never use like everyone else. The fact that this fight has changed my life dreams so quickly scares me. Since elementary school when I got my very first camera I've dreamt of the Academy of Arts in Seoul. In middle school I started my attempt of teaching myself Korean. Then in high school I started actual Korean language classes, I spent my summers in a classroom learning and practicing the damn language. Only for me to come here and feel like a complete mess. I think I loved photography so much because deep down I knew I'd just ruin all my attempts of friendships. Photography took up all my time, protecting me from heart ache like this. I kept to my family because I knew even if we fought, we are blood and we'd make up eventually.

.

.

"Hey Nanni!" Taehyung and Jimin said running up to hug me tight, nearly knocking me over. "How was your weekend?"

Jungkook, Hoseok and I stiffened at the question. We looked at each other and the two juniors sighed sitting down. "Spill. What happened?" Jimin said and I sat down next to Jungkook.

"Namjoon happened." Hoseok said and I shot him a look. I didn't want everyone to think he was the bad guy, he's obviously going through something that he's choosing not to share with us. "He hit Nanni."

"Hoseok that's not what happened." I said quickly as Tae and Jimin gasped. "He pushed me, it wasn't that rough."

"Wasn't that rough? If Hobi hyung wasn't behind you, you would have fell to the ground." Jungkook said his voice low and angry.

"Why'd he do that?" Tae asked and I looked at Jungkook.

"Because I went over to Nanni's place even though he told me not to."

"Why wouldn't he let you?" Jimin said and Jungkook sighed.

"Because I like her and he told me I wasn't allowed to." The boys didn't look surprised to hear he liked me. They seemed more surprised that he admitted to it in front of me. "She already knows so you can stop acting so shocked."

"But why wouldn't you be allowed to hang out with her? Regardless if you like her, she's still your friend. She's apart of us now." Hoseok said and the boys nodded. Hearing it made me feel conflicted. Knowing they thought of me apart of their little family made me feel lucky, but knowing that Namjoon wasn't here made me feel like I was replacing him.

"I don't know." Jungkook said, but he did know. He wouldn't look up at any of us and we all looked at each other in agreeance to drop the subject. I was going to have a talk with Namjoon. He can hate me all he wants but he is not allowed to ignore his best friends. If the only way he'd talk to them again meant I had to find somewhere else to sit during lunch then so be it. I'm not going to be a homewrecker.