Reassurance || yoonmin (On Hold)

3 // Losing yourseLf

Chapter 3

'You don't deserve to be here.'

He was crying uncontrollably, his chest felt so tight that it was hard to allow air into his lungs. He couldn't breathe.

'Stop hurting those around you and just kill yourself.'

The bedroom light was turned off and the pitter patter of the harsh rain on the window was muffled out by the sound of Jimin sobbing piteously. The streetlights shone through the glass and provided the room with an orange glow. 

'Cry more, it's what you do best.'

In the middle on the floor, was a curled up black-haired boy. Even though it was cold, he was sitting there in just a white, oversized t-shirt and grey sweatpants. Whether he was shivering from the temperature or sadness was unknown.

"Smile Jimin, this is a happy movie!" Taehyung vainly tried to cheering the smaller boy.

"I'm not in the mood." Jimin was sat on the sofa, Taehyung was stood up after having gone to prepare some drinks and Jeongguk was on his phone.

"C'mon, cheer up!" Taehyung repeated. He smiled at his friend in an attempt to make him do the same.

"I don't want to cheer up!" Jimin shouted at the top of his lungs, tears falling down his chubby cheeks. He stood up and faced Taehyung. The dark made the situation more intimidating. Their faces were light up from the TV screen. Jeongguk moved over to the corner of the room to switch the light on.

"Woah there, are you okay? What's wrong?" Taehyung asked concerned.

"None of your fucking business!"

"Hey Jimin, no need to shout at Tae, he's just trying to help. Your parents didn't raise you to snap at people." Jeongguk defended his friend after walking back towards them. Taehyung looked slightly scared.

"Don't tell me what to do, at least I have fucking parents!" Jimin snapped at his other friend. Jeongguk and Taehyung gasped at the words, both of them shocked at what he had said. Jeongguk then looked at Jimin with tears in his anxious eyes.

"That was uncalled for Jimin. Jeongguk's family has nothing to do with this." Taehyung stated angrily, his voice deep as all hell. 

"Fuck off." Jimin said, venom laced in his voice. Jeongguk was crying silently, hurt by his friend's cruel words.

"I think you need to leave." Taehyung demanded. He was scary when angry.

More sobs could be heard in the cramped room.

'You had two friends and even they don't want to be around you anymore'

Jimin was scared. Scared that he might have lost his best friends. Scared that he'd hurt people who were there for him. Scared that his negative thoughts might overpower his actions.

'Now if you did kill yourself no one would miss you.'

Jimin pushed himself up. His toes were cushioned by the soft carpet under his feet, his torso covered warmly by two items of clothing. His mind should have been eased by the Xanax he'd taken three hours ago. But he felt none of that, he only felt sadness, fear and disgust.

'Just kill yourself!'

He padded into the bathroom and locked the door. When he turned the light on, the harshness of it blinded him momentarily. The room smelled like a mixture of mint and bleach, both fresh scents overwhelming. He grabbed the cool edges of the sink and stared down at it. He was uneasy, not quite certain of what to do. He shakily opened the white cabinet door and took out a battered box of Paracetamol.