All I've Ever Wanted (Rough Draft)

Chapter 8 (Charlotte)

I saw in my usual place in church service, second pew from the back of the sanctuary next to the middle door. My legs crossed at my ankles and an open Bible in my lap tuning everything out but the pastor’s sermon. Spencer’s dad, Pastor Greg Garrison’s loud booming voice carried through the sanctuary making broad gestures as he spoke of God’s love and grace. More than that, the focus today was of mercy and forgiveness.  The part that hit home, is when he explained how sometimes the hardest person to forgive was the one staring back at you in the mirror.

Pastor Greg was more theatrical than I was used to, but he drove his point home for me. My father used to tell me, that God had a way of getting the messages He needed to get to you wherever you were. I felt that. I’d drifted far from the girl that sat on the front row of her father’s church. I was there when I wasn’t in the choir. I felt a sharp tightness in my chest, thinking about my parents back home. I wondered if they missed me. If they did I knew they were better off without me.

I stood for the final prayer, and after my eyes trailed to a pair of light brown eyes that landed on mine. Spencer offered a kind smile from the front, and a small wave. I noticed a hand with dark painted nails turn his cheek back to the front of the church. A harsh reminder, that it was hopeless making friends here. I was a young single mother, and Auggie didn’t have a father. By their standards I was jezebel here to steal everyone’s husbands. If I did get a pass from a married man in the church, and I did get preposition, I turned down, but it was a small backwards thinking church, in a small backwards town. If you turned on the radio no songs came on that were after 1999. Even the television had three channels, and played mostly old black and white movies and TV shows.

I quickly made my way out the back door to the next to the small next door building where children’s church was held. I nearly tripped over a small framed woman with red and salted hair on my way out.

“Sorry.” I carefully clutched her arm before she toppled over.

She looked up at me and I’d recognized Ms. Beverly from bed and breakfast.  Her green eyes lit up when she recognized me, “Oh.” She adjusted her thick glasses, “You’re Kyle’s little friend.”

I laughed, “Yes.” I nodded. I didn’t want to explain my relationship or lack of one with a guy I’d barely knew.

“You are much quieter than that last one he brought home.”She blurted.

My eyebrows shot up. I shook it off as the blabbering of an old woman. It was none of business.  I laughed again uneasily, “Well, that’s something. I have to go.”

“Take care.” I heard her say behind me.

I didn’t waste my time with the mindless chatter and gossip.  I picked up Auggie in my arms and went to my car.

“Charlotte, wait up,”  I ignored Spencer’s voice behind me even with the weight of a three year old in my arms and my one inch heels it but a strain on my legs. Having to unlock my car and put my son into his carseat gave Spencer enough time to catch up.

I brushed past him catching a whiff of his cologne only catching a glimpse of his sturdy figure in his grey suit with blue tie. “Charlotte, can we just talk?”

“I can’t.” I put my purse in the car, “I’m busy.”

Spencer smiled his dimple teasing at the side of his face,“You’re not busy.” He laughed,”You don’t have a life.”

My nostrils flared, “Well, now thanks to you, I have a dog to get back to. “

“Look, I’m sorry,” He raised his hands in surrender, “I just want to start over. You know before I asked you out. Can we just be friends.”