listen to your heart

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Jungkook Pov
I was so not in the mood after today's happenings. First i go at 7:00 am out of the hiuse just to buy my fucking sister a cake and then when i get off the phone someone grabs my collar and then i notice tae.
I have a fight with his boyfriend and the next thing is me confessing to taehyung that i love him.
But what do you expect that taehyung will come running towards me and break his marriage from that dimwit and marry me? I am sorry to wake you up from your dreams delulus but that won't happen.
Unless he wants to. And i know that he wants to but he can't. His pride and his will won't make it happen

-

After reaching home, i directly went to my sofa and curled up in a ball crying my balls out.

Is this what feels like being rejected?
Maybe i should give up on him......
Maybe i should move on too
But let's just say it's not too easy
I love him so much that i can never imagine my life without him......

I cried and cried and cried until no tears were left to cry.
I needed some mental support right now so i called yoongi hyung.

"Yoongi hyung can you come to.my place please" my voice sounded raspy and cracky because of crying too much.
"Okay coming right up......do you want anything else?"
"Yeah just bring some tissues mine are all used" i sniffed and gulped.
"Mhmm"
He said and then i ended the call.
I really wish i could call tae up right now
I wanna listen to his voice even though i did today.
I wanna feel his heartbeat even when i know i cannot.
I wanna be his lover even when he won't
I wanna be beside him even though i can't.

After five minutes of waiting someone knocked on the door.
I went to open it and let hyung come inside

"Come sit hyung" i gestured towards the sofa
He sat and then i turned the tv on
We were now watching titanic

"Soooo.......shat happened" yoongi hyung said muting the tv.

"Ahh! Hyung please unmute it jack is gonna paint rose like his french models" i whined

"Don't try to change the topic. You called me here so that i can give you a shoulder to cry on. Don't waste my time and fucking spill it. And also tell me what happened to your ugly face. " he grunted as he touched the bruises on my face.

I slapped away his hand away from my face

I huffed and said
"Fine"
I sighed
Then my tone and face saddened
" I went to buy my stupid sis some cake because she was craving for it since early morning......yeah so i went outside to buy her the cake and then i spotted a tae like bakery in front of the road...." I was discontinued by a wait a second from the young man beside me

"What is the meaning of tae like bakery?" He asked as he raised his eyebrows.
"Tae like bakery means cute bakery dumb" i said in disgust
"Ouch!!" I said as a hand slapped me on my head.

"Anyways so i was calling my sister at the front of the bakery and asking her what flavour she wants until a hand grabbed my collar and the next thing is tae's fiance and me fighting and tae crying"
Now the atmosphere got serious and sadistic
"And after tae stopped us he i consoled him but what do i get in return? He saying to me thst i should leave?" The words sounded like more of a question

I blinked rapidly to control my tears.

Yoongi hyung sighed and started speaking
"Look at me jungkook" he said patting my back as i faced him.
"Jungkook what happened months ago was just an act of your immaturity." I headed down

"But now you are more mature than what you are. Seriously if you ask me honestly i did believe that you liked him since all that time you spent together." I looked up at him and he gave me an eye blink which meant he truly did.

"But you weren't able to realise it." He continued
"But what's the point now?" I sighed sadly
" Yeah maybe it is too late but worth giving a try" he sympathized me.

"But i think i should give up. I don't think he will ever forgive me and i cannot watch my lover being in someone else's arms and making him feel all lovey-dovey........it.....it breaks my heart. I think i am sinking down." I said as tears started flowing from my eyes.
"Stop it jungkook!" He shouted
"Taehyung is not a thing that yoi can give up on!"
"He is a fucking person that you fucking love"

"I know he loves you too but he is scared. Scared to fall again and break his heart" now hyung's voice was calmer.
"He is very sensitive and delicate jungkook. He is the most precious human being i have ever seen. I know i am not good at speaking stuff like this for anyone but when it comes for taehyung i am a softie.
I know that i tease him but i never tried to ever hurt his feelings.

He is a really special kind" hyung said caressing my back

"As they say he is an alien.
Yeah it is true he is an alien because we humans don't have a heart like him. We are so selfish while he tries to keep other's happy. Look at him, he is marrying baekhyun so he cannot break his heart like it happened to him" he said in a sympathetic tone and i listened to it all and drowned in the other's words.

You really are one of a kind taehyung.....you really are

"But hyung what shall i do now?" I said frustratingly as i grabbed my hair.

"Jungkook" he called
"Hmmm?" I hummed still grabbing my hair
"Listen to your heart" he said
"Huh?" I got confused with his words
"I said listen to your heart and do what it says" he said more impatiently

What does your heart say jungkook?
Yoongi hyung is right listen to your heart.

I was cut off by my thoughts as yoongi hyung spoke
"Jungkook love is not a game that you play with your mind........love is an emotion that you feel with your heart"
As he said those words engraved my soul

Love is an emotion jungkook
Feel it with your heart
Do you really can let tae go to someone else?
Can you really leave him?

I closed my eyes feeling my own heart under my soul.
What does your heart say jungkook?

I thought and pictures of tae came flowing out in front of me.
He eating an ice cream, he with a dog, he with those cute oversized sweaters and he when he said me i love you

My heart picked up a thundering pace as i remembered taehyung

How can i let this cute fluffball go?
How can i leave a natural warmer who hugs me every morning and night?
How can i let go of an alien who loves me?

The answer is no.
No i can't
Even if i try, even if he forces me to......i know i can't

I wiped the tears which were coming from my eyes
"My heart says that i cannot leave him hyung" i said to yoongi hyung

I looked at him and then he showed me his amazing gummy smile

"I knew it jungkook but i wanted to make sure that you determine it by yourself"
"Okay so now i am gonna go by and let's not waste my time from now on and one more thing......you dare tell anyone that i said these soft things" he narrowed his eyes as he said

"Yeah yeah of course hyung" i laughed and said.
He showed his tongue and then headed off from the door.
I plop on the couch again

"Kim taehyung.........you are mine and always will be. I won't ever leave you"



To be continued

Sorry guys slow updates for a few days then it would be consistent

Borahae
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