I Want Him

{chapter 4}

1926 words

TEMPORARY
adjective
-lasting only for a period of time;not permanent

Wednesday
15th February {pt.2}

"Well done Jimin" I faintly heard Hoseok yell as the music came to a close.

His words of praise however, meant nothing to me. They were blocked out, lost somewhere in the mess of thoughts swarming my head.

Fucking failure

I still couldn't get the end of the dance, meanwhile Hoseok had gotten and perfected it after a short time rehearsing.

Best students, huh? It's clear that the best student here is Hoseok, why did he even chose me I'm so fucking stupid and talentless.

Frustrated with myself I walked over to the side of the studio, putting my head down in frustration, as I grabbed my water.

After a moment or two, I heard footsteps approaching, a weight was soon felt on my shoulder causing me to look up slightly. However, I still stared straight ahead, looking directly at the wall. Acting as if somehow I could direct all my anger onto it,away from myself.

I heard a soft sigh before Hoseoks sympathetic tone broke through the sharp silence of the room "sit" he said, softly.

"Why are you upset" Hoseok asked as he watched me attentively.

Subconsciously I began to play with my sleeves, running the soft fabric through my fingertips. After what felt like years I responded, well if u can call it that.

I simple shrug of the shoulders was all the kind boy got. God, why can't I just talk to him, he's trying to help. Why do I have to be so difficult.

"Jimin" he almost whispered as he tried to get me to look him in the eyes. The older boys kind actions made me want to curl into a ball, he's so sweet and I was worrying him. Selfish.

"I can see your upset about something, upset at yourself" he voiced wearily.

This time it was my turn to sigh as I faced towards him, pushing myself forward from the wall the two of us how been leaning on.

"I guess I'm just doubting myself alot" I said timidly, still looking at my lap.

"In what way Chim"

"Well I just-I guess I'm annoyed at myself. Frustrated. I can't even pick up the whole of the choreo and you've perfected it." I said, trailing off towards the end.

"Jimin" Hoseok started, sympathetically. "You must never, ever compare yourselves to others. So what u take a little longer than me to pick up beacaue I know God damn well that when you get it it's amazing. Your determined you will do it over and over until you get it and that's just one reason your an amazing dancer."

"Thank you Hoseok" I said as sincerly as I could. "No promblem Chim" he replied, ruffling my hair. I stood up, walking towards to the music again.

"What are you doing Jimin" Hoseok questioned.

"I'm rehearsing" I answered, confusion evident in my voice.