I Want Him

{chapter 12}

1370 words

NEW
adjective
-introduced, or discovered recently or now for the first time; not existing before
-already existing but seen, experienced, or acquired recently or now for the first time

Saturday
18th February pt.2

I stared out the window as the car stopped, taking in the modern details of the house, various lights and lampposts showcasing its features. It was nothing like the houses of anyone I'd ever been associated with had lived in, and it was a new kind of environment to me.

The new setting and circumstances made me want to shrink back into the car seat, but I instead pushed the passenger door open, shivering slightly at the late February breeze. The loud vibrations coming from the house only got louder as I stepped out, eventually stepping closer to the convulsing house.

Even with the size of the house, clusters of people littered the driveway. The once prestigious lawn had empty beer bottles strewn across it and was cluttered with groups of people smoking or making out.

The sound of a car door shutting captured my attention from the scene before me, footsteps approaching behind me before Jin's reassuring voice could be heard. "You'll be fine Chim"

"Yeah, you'll be with people you know, nothings gonna happen. I know you're not used to this kind of thing, but you might enjoy it," Tae said, his arm slung around my shoulder as we walked up to the front of the house.

"Thanks, guys, I'll try to relax a bit," I said, turning away from the pair to be met with a set of steps and an open door. Taking a deep breath, I walked up the steps and through the door, Taehyung going in front of me.

A haze of red cups and dancing bodies blurred my vision and I was hit by a wave of heat despite the faint breeze from the open door. The hallway I now found myself in still seemed to appear spacious despite a multitude of people crowding every inch of it. Even the staircase was lined with people and discarded drinks. 

My eyes scrambled to adjust to the dim lighting as they dashed around the space, trying to take in the surroundings: the dark wooden floors, the pristine white walls and the vibrant houseplants peeking through the groups of people smothering them. On the walls hung pieces of art and minimalistic décor, a symmetry running through them. 

My attention was constantly pulled from one side of the room to another, only resting for a moment each time. As we made our way forward, I peered into the doorways that lined the hall. Each was filled with people dancing or drinking, some rooms contents even unclear as they were clouded by smoke.

Taehyung pulled me into what had to be the busiest room and I was just thankful for the strong grip he had on my arm as he led me through the crowd or else, I might have walked straight back out.

He led us over to the far side of the room, which was a bit less crowded than the side we'd just walked through, that being where most people had decided to dance. My attention was brought to various street lights shining through a large glass sliding door that took up most of the wall, and more importantly the collection of sofas in front of it. The sofas were arranged in a circle almost, and there sat the boys each with drinks secured in their palms.

Taehyung walked over to Jungkook who had his legs stretched out over one of the sofas, sitting much like him in his arms. 

Yoongi glanced over, smiling when he saw me as he motioned to the sofa that he was sat on alone. I moved to sit down next to him, slightly nudging Jin towards where Namjoon was sat in the process.

"Hi guys" Hoseok greeted as he walked over from what I think was the kitchen, "Any of you want a drink?" he offered.

Soon I could hear Yoongis voice from next to me as Jin and Taehyung told Hoseok what they wanted. "Don't feel like you have to drink if it's not your thing, but if you want to ask for whatever"

"Its fine Yoongi" I replied laughing slightly at how much he babied me "I've drunk before. How innocent do you think I am?" I teased, Yoongi just smiling sheepishly in response "Thanks though, it was sweet of you"

"What do you want Jimin" Hoseok asked.

"Just a beer please" I answered, leaning forward to grab the bottle from him.

Wrapping my fingers around the cool glass, I sat back and looked around the room. Jungkook was talking to Taehyung, saying how good he looked in the jacket he got him; I found myself smiling at the way my friends' features lit up, accompanying the smile that graced his lips. I was grateful he had Jungkook.

I began to think about Yoongi as I took a sip of the bitter liquid previously handed to me. As happy as I was for the couple seated across from me they'd led my mind back to the boy next to me. More specifically the two of us and, not to be that typical girl in an American romance movie but, what exactly we are.

When it came to Yoongi my head hadn't quite made up its mind. One minute I'd feel as if something could actually happen between us and within the next one, I'd be brought back down with a thud. A reminder that I don't even really know him and no matter what feelings I hold towards the boy they'll never be reciprocated.

But no matter how many times my mind reined me back in I always found myself venturing out. In such a short time my feelings had further developed rapidly. I mean can you blame me? 

Between the conversations littered throughout the school day, the range of further texts between the two of us since the day we first talked, the times he'd stood up for me and Taehyung, the hugs and words of reassurance to not let anyone hurt me. Intended or not, how could I not fall further into the infatuation I already held for the slightly older boy.

Before I was simply intrigued by his appearance and demeanour, but now I found myself intrigued by- well him. The person, his traits and kind actions towards me.

Yoongi made me feel cared for and it was the most bizarre concept to me. I'd known him for only a few days, and even with all the words exchanged and a hundred little observations, I could not really know him. Of course, I could not truly know the boy in such a short time, I can't expect more than that. 

The thing that I was fixated on was how okay I was with that fact and how much it panicked me at the same time. Maybe I really did need to fall, like I'd said, climb past my barriers and let myself fall for someone. Just hope that they'd catch me and have the faith in myself that I'd be okay even if they didn't.

I decided to lay my mind at rest as I brought myself back to my surroundings; the music playing through the house, the fresh taste of alcohol on my tongue, the hand placed on my shoulder and the boy who it belonged to.

"So, who wants to play truth or dare" Hoseoks voice brought me away from the boy next to me and my thoughts. Nodding as I looked around at the others who hummed in agreement.

"Yay!" Taehyung exclaimed at everyone's response. His attention moved to Hoseok, a smile imprinted on his lips and for once I wasn't quite sure what to expect from the boy I'd known for so many years.

"I'll start," Jin said grabbing an empty bottle from nearby and setting it down on the table in the middle of the sofas. The rest of us watched as Jin the bottle spun. Eventually landing on Jungkook, Jin looked up to meet his eyes, the rest of us looking at the pair expectantly.