XXI. Her Purpose

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S O L L A C E

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S O L L A C E

"Who do you live for?"

I was absentmindedly staring at the wall clock when our social science teacher asked a riveting question that captures everyone's attention including mine. 

Everyone has different responses. Some students answered, "family," while others playfully muttered bizarre answers such as, "money" or "food." After hearing the question, my eyelids no longer feel heavy. It makes me think as well.

Who do I live for?

"Why do we have to fight so hard in life? For what? For whom?" 

The entire classroom was filled with chattering voices, everyone muttering their own opinions. Meanwhile, I may be the only one who does not have thoughts contained within my mind. Maybe it's because I'm drowsy or too weary to think, but I honestly can not think of anything.

"Yes, Ms. Garcia? You have anything to say?"

A girl with a silky long hair stood up, "It's such a simple question, Miss. For me, I live for my happiness. You don't have to think deeper, it's literally just right above the surface." she answered confidently. Our teacher nods and told her to sit down.

"Interesting answer, Ms. Garcia. I believe most of you think the same. We live in this world for our happiness and satisfaction. Though we can all collectively agree that living in this world is like hell, we still continue living in it. If a group of people were placed in a life-threatening situation, I bet most of them would prefer to do anything to avoid death, ironically, these people were the ones who told themselves they wanted to die on a daily basis." She pace back and forth, hands behind her.

Everybody fell silent for a moment.

A guy wearing thick glasses suddenly raised his hand, "I have a question miss."

"Go ahead."

"Is it possible to live without any reasons? I mean, for instance, my friend merely lives in this world for no deep reason or purpose."

She pause right in front of him, "I believe everyone has purpose in their lives. No one wants to live in this world just because they want to. That friend you're talking about may simply haven't find their reason yet."

Eyes looking straight ahead, I was lost in my thoughts with that response. Am I that person who hasn't find my reason to live? 

It's obvious that I love my family and they're my happiness, but strangely, I feel like they aren't the primary reason for me to keep living. I'm not sure. I don't know why I am even trying so hard. I don't know what I want in life. My name's already drenched in wealth. Money doesn't excite me that much. Even finding a romantic partner does not seem interesting either.

"If God is actually true, why did he put me in this world?" I blurted out of nowhere.

"Ha? Anong sinabe mo?"

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