Eighty Days of Heartache

the forty-sixth day; [1]

THE FORTY—SIXTH DAY
» PART [1]

DR. JUNIPER PREPOSI is a woman of Filipino decent, with large brown eyes and long black hair spun from silk. She's stunning, of a short stature with the prettiest of smiles as she tries to psychoanalyse me.

"Welcome, to your first therapy session with me, Miss Knox," she smiles gracefully. Her hair falling and framing her face in such a flattering way, as she paints herself to be approachable, and warm. "I hope that these sessions help you, a weekly hour a slot on Saturdays, your doctor and mother agreed this was the best course of action to take, for your anxiety reduction to progress in a positive way."

I hope these sessions help you.

So do I.

Still smiling the prettiest of smiles, Dr. Preposi sits forward on her desk; the smell of wet soil in the air as I notice the vast amount of indoor plants that are littered around her office. Either she's into Feng Shui, or is just a potted plant enthusiast.

"Anxiety is a serious mental health problem," she begins as I sit back in my seat, some corkscrew tendrils of hair falling from my messy bun. I haven't bothered with my appearance today — no makeup, no fancy clothes. I haven't got anyone to impress. "You're always going to have anxiety, Fawn, but I hope to teach you some techniques in order to help you curve the level of anxiety you experience."

Scribbling something down in her notebook, Dr. Preposi is still smiling as she lifts her head level to my face. "It isn't just about feeling anxious all of the time, although you already know this, but I just want to ask you a few questions to see what type anxiety you experience."

Nodding my head whilst I scratch at my eyebrow, I lean back in my chair with a sigh falling from my lips. I'm so tired of this all; tired of anxiety ruling my life, and tired of talking about it.

"How often do you have anxiety attacks?"

"Recently I had two over the space of six days."

"What are they like?"

"Shaking, hyperventilating, zoning out..."

"Do you become irritable before hand?"

"Sometimes yes."

The train of questions doesn't stop as each one rolls into the station demanding for an answer, before chugging away and permanently stopping at the end of Dr. Preposi's pen.

She asks me about my anxiety attacks as she writes in her little book, sometimes switching it up and typing a few things into her computer. However many questions she asks I'll never know, and I'll never know how much time I'll spend in this chair either.

It's not long before she closes the book with a strained smile on her face. "All anxiety is treatable, and I know you have stopped taking your anxiety tablets and I want you to stay off of them for the time being."

I blink a few times at her with surprise, watching as she swings back and forth on her chair a little. Her cherry blossom lips continue to smile, as she hands me a piece of paper. "Have you heard of CBT before?"

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, I translate in my head, giving Dr. Preposi a single nod whilst I take the piece of paper away from her. "Uh yes, I've learnt about it in my psychology classes before."