A "Train-full" of Desires

Chapter 4

Dylan's POV:

I was too furious when I got home so I put in a game and played that for a solid hour to cool me down. People are getting on my nerves now and it won't be too long until I literally pop. My ADHD makes everything worse, I forgot to take my meds this morning so I've been all over the place. First Keighly, now Jacob liking me, it's too much. Maybe I should just stay away from everyone for awhile.

After a few hours of games I forgot about homework so I went up to my kitchen and sat down at the table and began to work. I still couldn't get my head untangled from this madness, it was frustrating me. I threw my pencil down and got a glass of water. I put on music, plugged in my headphones so I could relax and focus.

After awhile my mother walked into the room. She was in her Pj's with wet hair so I assumed she just got done showering. She worked as a nurse at the hospital in town so when she got home it was usually shower, make dinner, relax, and then bed at 9. She came over and kissed my head and began dinner.

"How was school?" she began to fill a pan with water.

I let out a sigh, "It was alright. Nothing new."

She nodded continuing letting water fill a large pan. Its probably spaghetti tonight.

"Mom?,"

"Yes dear," she didn't look up at me.

I hesitated to ask her about Jacob and about liking boys. I'm not even sure if I like boys like that. I mean I like boys but I mean as friends, not in a sexual way. So I changed my mind, "never mind" then took a drink of water.

"Oh okay. How was Jacob's Saturday?" I nearly spit out my water so it looked like I was choking. Memories flashed my mind of what happened and I started to hesitate. "Um, it was, um, um good I guess. Fine or something I don't know."

"Um.....okay? I thought I would ask since I didn't before."

"Oh okay." We didn't talk much anymore and then I was finished with homework. My dad was asleep on the couch and my brother was at work. I went back to my room and played video games until dinner was ready. During that time I checked my phone because it was still on silent from school. I had 5 unread messages, 4 missed calls and multiple notifications from my apps.

Jacob was half of those things. I sighed. Could he not see I don't want to talk to him. I looked at everything and then shut my phone off once again. I ate dinner with my mom and dad and finished the night with more video games.

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I avoided Jacob until the following Friday. I just sat with Nick at lunch and avoided everyone at all costs. I at least talked to Kyle though. 5th hour in ancient civ. But I found out something weird. Even though Keighly is also in that class I avoided her as much as possible. Yeah sure we can work in a group but I don't want to get close and like her again. But Kyle was my only friend and these past few days he's been acting strange. He's been talking to Keighly a lot, more than me honestly. I wasn't jealous or anything, more, confused because he never talked to her this much before.

Miss Cook, our teacher, said we had to get in groups and answer 10 questions about a Spartacus article we read the night before. I looked over at Kyle to hopefully make eye contact so we could work together but instead he looked at Keighly. Again with this? When the class was dismissed to work Kyle went to Keighly's desk and I walked over because I didn't want to work alone.

"Can I work with you guys?"

"Sure" Kyle and Keighly both said. When we worked together I noticed how close they were and how Keighly would only talk to Kyle. She just made random conversation though. When we made eye contact she quickly looked away. I didn't really bother with it. I should've lightened up a little bit though. She joked about Kyle's writing and I kinda snapped at her for it telling her if its that much of a problem then maybe she should write it. I answered a lot of questions too so once we were finished I left to go back to my own desk. They stayed by each other. I shouldn't bother, she isn't mine so I shouldn't really mess with it. When class ended I busted out the door and went to my last class before the day ended.

When I made my way towards my car after school I made sure that Jacob was gone. I got to my door and a voice called out. It sent shivers down my spine. It was Jacob. I guess I was wrong.

He approached me in a slight jog. I might have had enough to get in my car and just speed out of the parking lot but I just stayed.

"Dylan listen,-"

I held my hand up, "Okay Jacob I honestly don't want to deal with this right now. I just want to go home."

"Listen to me, I just want to apologize for what happened Saturday," He looked at the ground, "I know you are probably really pissed off at me and I understand. I shouldn't have done that. It was completely immature."

I shook my head not really wanting to say more. He held out his hand signaling for a handshake. I gripped it and I watched him turn and walk away. I felt like I was choking on my own breath I felt so nervous talking to him after so long.

Why do I feel this way? I really don't understand. So instead of letting it consume my thoughts I got into my car and went home. I spent that night doing nothing but playing Fallout 4.