"How can you lose when you never stop fighting?"
Cassiopeia Walker-Simmons looked at her star from a tiny window in space her whole life. She never imagined that it'd be even more beautiful from the ground. Yet every time she gazed upon the dazzlin...
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NOT OKAY
She didn't know a human could produce those kinds of noises. It was on the verge of a howl, with more sorrow laced into every breath. Cassie never imagined that the voice existed, yet alone would pass Ryan's lips.
They had been living happily together for the past few years. Ten year old Cassie felt her heart swell every time she looked at her parents, but now that she was looking at Callum, she just felt it shatter. His body was laid stock straight on the bed, his eyes closed peacefully. If she didn't know the severity of the situation, she would have just thought that he was sleeping.
He wasn't sleeping.
Cassie's breath hitched, and she took a big gulp, praying that Ryan didn't hear it. He was sad enough for the pair of them; it wasn't fair on him for her to be distraught too. She just bottled up her agony, gripping Ryan's tightly and not letting her eyes leave Callum's unmoving body.
"How could this happen," Ryan muttered in disbelief. Cassie could barely hear him over his loud sniffles, the words coming close to getting lost in the hustle and bustle of the medical wing. As much as she wished she could give him answers, to reassure him and make the tears fade, she knew she couldn't. She just stayed silent.
Ryan squeezed her hand. She pretended it didn't cut off the blood flow, giving him a grim smile. He couldn't even reciprocate the action. It was as if the mere thought of turning his lips drained him of energy - Cassie wasn't surprised. It was exhausting being in pain.
"Dad?" Cassie asked, her voice hoarse. She hated herself for the way it fractured as she spoke. Ryan turned his head to her, his tear strained cheeks glistening in the artificial light. "I don't want him to die."
His face crumbled. "Me too kid."
The reveal was too much for Ryan to handle. He took a deep, shuddering breath, releasing Cassie's hand and climbing to his feet. He let his hand cup Callum's cheek for a moment, it falling weakly as he turned his back on him. "I need to let work know. I won't be long."
And just like that, Ryan left the girl all alone. She stared after him hopelessly, her mouth parted, a plead for him to come back dying on her lips. He had left her. Cassie swallowed harshly, turning her downcast eyes back to her broken father. To the naked eye, there was nothing wrong with him. That was what made it worse - his pain would be invisible. There wouldn't be a way for Cassie to help heal him, or when to know to help take the pain away. It would just exist and neither of them would know.
When Callum would wake up, he would find that he was paralysed from the waist down.
Cassie was sure that they could get through this. They had handled a lot, and they were trained to tackle this kind of beast as if it was nothing. As much as she told herself this though, she felt her conviction die just a little bit more. She knew this would change everything.
A singular tear traced its way down her cheek. She angrily wiped it away with the back of her hand, never once removing her gaze from Callum's peaceful form. If she looked away for too long, he might simply disappear.
Ryan nudged his way back into the room, the heavy footfalls cracking the silence. One look at him and Cassie knew he hadn't stopped crying - there were stark red veins shining brilliantly against the white, and the skin on his lips was bleeding heavily. At the sight, her teeth instinctively found her own.
"Sorry about that," Ryan said, his body drooping towards the floor. "Has anything changed?"
Cassie didn't trust herself to talk. She just simply shook her head. His head sagged at her actions, a heavy sigh leaving his mouth. He muttered something under his breath, and it took her a moment to decipher what it was. It was a prayer.
Ryan never had been religious.
In times of need, people cling to faith. Sometimes, it's the only thing that can keep someone going.
*
It was night time when a groan hit their ears. The pair of them rushed to Callum's side, their bodies only slowed down by the weariness of their bodies. They paid no mind to it, grabbing at Callum's hands as his eyes began to blink open. His eyes fluttered a few times, a small smile growing on his face as his love and his child came into his line of view.
"You look like you've seen a ghost," Callum croaked.
It was like a switch had been flipped inside Ryan. In one smooth swoop, he detracted his hand away from Callum, his now free hand cupping his neck. He leaned forward, his lips locking with Callum's desperately. It was a kiss of relief, of joy, but the sadness still remained as Ryan's tears sploshed onto Callum's skin.
As soon as it had started, it had ended. Ryan broke off the kiss, forehead leaning against Callum's. "I thought I lost you. I - I wouldn't know what to do without you, Cal."
Callum pecked his lips quickly, a smile formed on his face. Almost breathless, he whispered a sweet lullaby. "I love you."
Ryan didn't waste a beat saying it back. Cassie loved seeing her dads being so affectionate towards each other, yet the sheer intensity in their eyes made her squirm on her feet. This wasn't her moment, she shouldn't be in the room with them. Cassie gently let go of Callum's hand, hoping he wouldn't notice and took a step back.
"My star," Callum grabbed her hand, squeezing it tightly in his. "Where's my hug?"
She didn't need to be told twice. The child jumped onto the bed, Callum squealing happily as Cassie's arms wrapped tight around his neck. He held her just as tight, his head falling into the crook of her neck. He felt warm - he felt alive.
Cassie couldn't hold back the tears anymore.
She was sobbing, bunching up the material of his shirt in her hands. Callum still held onto her just as tight, rocking her slightly. He uttered reassurance to her, telling her that he was okay and everything was fine. He survived the accident and they could carry on as normal.
Cassie knew for sure now that it wouldn't be okay.
-
hey guys, sorry about not posting for a while. i've been hyper focusing on my book veni, vidi, vici and i've now officially finished writing it! now that that beast is out of the way, i've decided i'm going to spend more time on this book, with palinode being my second priority. in the mean time, i'm going to start planning out another book in detail. so far it's either a the mortal instruments fanfic or captain america: the winter solider one. we shall wait and see however.
